i cracked. im an idiot.

I went to his basketball game I know it was the wrong thing to do but I did.

I know it was the wrong thing to do, but I did. The second I walked in and the second he saw me he shook his head. From that point forward he kept just shaking his head. One of his stupid friends came up to me and asked if I was there for him. I just shook my head like YEAH DUH! I guess he is telling people we aren't together? After he told me we were?

At the end of his game I waited for him. When he came out and saw that I was waiting there he looked at me like he was really mad and then shook his head again. I knew I made a mistake in going. I went thinking it would show him how much I care.

So he completely walked the opposite direction of me. So I walked up to him and he asked me why I was there and said he didn't want me there. Then he walked away from me. I felt so stupid. So instead of chasing him I called him and said that I was going to leave if he could just talk to me before I did. He actually answered his phone and he agreed to talk. He told me to meet him out front and that I did.

First thing he told me, you shouldn't have come. I said I know but I wanted to be here for you. He said NO you just want to make sure that I am not doing anything wrong. I disagreed. As we were walking to my car he told me that he loves me and that he does want to be with me, just not now. He said he wants to be with himself. I asked him if there was someone else and he told me NO, if there were someone else he would just let me go already. He said it has nothing to do with anyone else. That it has to do with him wanting to be alone. He told me he doesn't even want to see my face. I wasn't crying the entire time, but at that point the tears started pouring. He told me if I show up again then it will be over. He said if I really want to be with him then I should just leave him be. BUT WHEN will he come back to me?! It's so hard to leave him alone because I am afraid in doing that he will realize he doesn't want me. Oh I said that to him too and he said, i cannot help that you feel that way. What is that supposed to mean?

IT all ended with a weak hug an I love you. Then he swore he wasnt just saying we were together to get me to go. Then he turned his back and I watched him walk away. What in the world is going on?

What does this look like to you guys? I am not going to forget him and I am going to be right here when he is ready so please just tell me how all this sounds....without saying lose him. Cause I am not going to do that right now.

What does this look like to you guys? I am not going to forget him and I am going to be right here when he is ready so please just tell me how all this sounds....

It sounds pathetic. Leave him alone.

i know it sounds pathetic. i just dont want to lose him.

im a mess.

First thing he told me, you shouldn't have come. I said I know but I wanted to be here for you. He said NO you just want to make sure that I am not doing anything wrong.

I thikn this says it all.

I think you are both so possessive and jealous of each other - i really am not sure it is even all him, i think you do it too - that there is no way you will have a functional relationship.

It is sad to read this.

i really wasn't there to 'check up on him'

i wanted to be there to support him. i thought it would help. but it just made him even more mad.

i really wasn't there to 'check up on him'

 

i wanted to be there to support him. i thought it would help. but it just made him even more mad.

VI be honest with yourself - after all he just did to you this was all about support? He treated you like a dirty wash rag, and this was all about support? Or did a part of you think there was something else going on and you had to see firsthand?

Don't dupe me now - I used to be an insecure female...i don't dupe easily.

Don't dupe me now - I used to be an insecure female...i don't dupe easily.

I am going to second the motion that JS does not dupe easily.

I wanted to go there looking really hott. I wanted him to see me. See me sitting there alone. And I wanted him to be like what the hell am I doing, look at her. I thought it would help. I thought he would budge a little but it didn't. It made matters worse.

I thought he would budge a little but it didn't. It made matters worse.

Maybe you learned something.

yeah, ill leave him alone. but i cannot help but wonder when i will see his name on my phone or his truck outside my house or if i even will.

i wonder if this is just his way of getting over me. by saying leave me alone, but we are still together.

i am so confused. none of this makes sensee.

none of this makes sensee.

It will make sense some day. Yes, he is pulling away, possibly for good. Chasing him all around and dressing up "hot" is going to do nothing but eliminate any remaining chances that he will come back, and totally destroy your self esteem and make it harder for you to heal.

You really think he is pulling away for good? Then why would he tell me all these things?

HE says it's hard to see me, because when he see's me he wants to budge. HE says I am still in his life just not at this moment. He wants me in his life.

so if he is pulling away for GOOD, why would he say this?

VI, I know how much you hurt girl..... but for your own sake let it go....

You need to let him go, if he comes back fine.... if he doesn't, you haven't lost a thing....

Just take care of you, this too shall pass kiddo...

xxx

Take care

Sandy

so if he is pulling away for GOOD, why would he say this?

He's confused, he doesn't know what he wants. He says one thing, his actions say something else. Heck, you might have a chance. But only if you back off, and let him miss you, and give him something to WANT.

Not some sniffling pathetic little crying girl. That's not going to do it.

It's so hard to leave him alone. I don't know why I have such a hard time doing this.

It might have to do with the fact that I have no distractions. My best friend is out of town until the 20th. I stayed at my sisters lastnight and wanted to stay with her again because she lives like 40 miles away from this mess, but she completely blew me off.

So I am just left here to sit and wonder. I wonder what he is doing. I wonder if he is thinking about me. I wonder if he misses me. I drive myself nuts with these thoughts. I know that he is out with his friends right now. I know he isn't thinking about me because he is with his friends. It's so sad.

I don't know what to do with myself.

Barbie,

This guy has been nothing but a complete jerk to you.

What has he done to deserve your attention and love? Nothing.

You have to treat yourself with love and respect before you will get that from others, and that starts with not allowing others to treat you like crap, and not following them around and asking for more.

I know it's hard, but it starts with you. Until you put a stop to it, it will never stop. How long do you want to go one feeling this way?

yeah, ill leave him alone. but i cannot help but wonder when i will see his name on my phone or his truck outside my house or if i even will.

 

i wonder if this is just his way of getting over me. by saying leave me alone, but we are still together.

 

i am so confused. none of this makes sensee.

VI this is really sad. How can this not make sense? He said he doesn't want to be with you anymore. Your actions tell me you are as possessive and irrational as he is.

It's so hard to leave him alone. I don't know why I have such a hard time doing this.

 

It might have to do with the fact that I have no distractions. My best friend is out of town until the 20th. I stayed at my sisters lastnight and wanted to stay with her again because she lives like 40 miles away from this mess, but she completely blew me off.

 

So I am just left here to sit and wonder. I wonder what he is doing. I wonder if he is thinking about me. I wonder if he misses me. I drive myself nuts with these thoughts. I know that he is out with his friends right now. I know he isn't thinking about me because he is with his friends. It's so sad.

 

I don't know what to do with myself.

I'll tell you like i told my daughter once - you need some hobbies and some interests that do NOT revolve around a man.

VI this is really sad. How can this not make sense? He said he doesn't want to be with you anymore. Your actions tell me you are as possessive and irrational as he is.

he didn't tell me that he didn't want to be with me. he told me that he still wants to be with me. that he just can't do it right now. but we are still together i am just giving him some 'space' whatever the hell that means.

First thing he told me, you shouldn't have come. I said I know but I wanted to be here for you. He said NO you just want to make sure that I am not doing anything wrong. I disagreed. As we were walking to my car he told me that he loves me and that he does want to be with me, just not now. He said he wants to be with himself.

Dear Heart if i had a dollar for everytime i heard this on one of these types of forums and the guy really wanted out i'd be filthy rich.

if a man wants you, he WILL be with you.

most men give this line because they are horrific at confrontation and breaking up.

You can keep on coming back and you can continue this dysfunctional circle over and over again but you are putting a band aid on a gaping would at this point.

It's so hard to leave him alone. I don't know why I have such a hard time doing this.

 

It might have to do with the fact that I have no distractions. My best friend is out of town until the 20th. I stayed at my sisters lastnight and wanted to stay with her again because she lives like 40 miles away from this mess, but she completely blew me off.

 

So I am just left here to sit and wonder. I wonder what he is doing. I wonder if he is thinking about me. I wonder if he misses me. I drive myself nuts with these thoughts. I know that he is out with his friends right now. I know he isn't thinking about me because he is with his friends. It's so sad.

 

I don't know what to do with myself.

Hey... I'm older than you, and I've had these same thoughts you know?

But the thing is, nothing is going to make you feel better, unless you do this for yourself... who cares how he feels? Its what you feel that matters...

You can't change what he's thinking or feeling.... just let it be.... whatever happens, happens.... till then take care of yourself... to hell with him.... tomorrow is another day after all....

Just chill tonight, you will be fine....

Don't think any more, its not worth it, believe me, I know.....

xxx

Sandy

Hey... I'm older than you, and I've had these same thoughts you know?

 

But the thing is, nothing is going to make you feel better, unless you do this for yourself... who cares how he feels? Its what you feel that matters...

 

You can't change what he's thinking or feeling.... just let it be.... whatever happens, happens.... till then take care of yourself... to hell with him.... tomorrow is another day after all....

 

Just chill tonight, you will be fine....

 

Don't think any more, its not worth it, believe me, I know.....

 

xxx

 

Sandy

I think Sandy is giving you some fine advice.

if a man wants you, he WILL be with you.

Exactly. Enough said.

he didn't tell me that he didn't want to be with me. he told me that he still wants to be with me. that he just can't do it right now. but we are still together i am just giving him some 'space' whatever the hell that means.

vi...call it what is is, so you arent confused. You and him are "not together" right now, regardless of what he says or how he says it. You are "broken up" and you might "get back together" if he so decides. He is taking this time to reflect on you and the relationship and he needs to do that without you being around. That is what he means by "space". It means no contact, no visiting him in the gym, no calling him, emailing him, or texting him.

And you should take it one step further, and be prepared for what to do when/if he should contact you. The best thing to do would be to take an "indifferent approach". As if you aren't sure if YOU want to see HIM.

Hey... I'm older than you, and I've had these same thoughts you know?

 

But the thing is, nothing is going to make you feel better, unless you do this for yourself... who cares how he feels? Its what you feel that matters...

 

You can't change what he's thinking or feeling.... just let it be.... whatever happens, happens.... till then take care of yourself... to hell with him.... tomorrow is another day after all....

 

Just chill tonight, you will be fine....

 

Don't think any more, its not worth it, believe me, I know.....

 

xxx

 

Sandy

Thank you Sandy. I know I just need to chill. But it's hard when you are just at home alone with no distractions. But he is out now doing his thing - I am going to let him. I won't call. I'll let it be.

He said if you really want to be with me, then just leave me alone. So I will try my best to leave him alone.