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Thread: When confronted, how do cheaters act?

  1. #1
    EllisBreaks
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    When confronted, how do cheaters act?

    Basically, yesterday I confronted my bf of cheating on me. I've had mixed feelings about this for the past 6 months or so, and yesterday i blew. It was VERY stupid of me, because any suspicions that i had, he knos about and can cover better IF he is cheating.

    But my question is.... When they are confonted, how do they act?

    If they are innocent, do they blow up and get super angry? Especially if they are used to your jealous streak? Then apologize for yelling and be super sweet and loving a few hours later? (this was so unlike him but there are other factors... I'm 9 months pregnant)

    I have a jealous streak, and am mistrustful, because he cheated and left me in the beginning. But I fought for him and won (stupid of me i know)

    Or if they are guilty do they still deny it, but not get super angry with you for accusing them? How do they act? What are the signs?

  2. #2
    southerngirl
    Platinum Member southerngirl's Avatar
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    I think every cheater acts differently.

    What is it that makes you think he is cheating on you!

    I feel for you, you do not need to be worrying about this while you are 9 months pregnant!

    Please tell us more Ok? Id love to help if I can.

    Go ahead, millions are waiting.

  3. #3
    Gratsy

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    They might get pissed and start blaming you for stuff. Or they'll break down and cry and say they're sorry, some will lie...could be a lot of reactions.

    It sounds like he cheated, honestly. He reacted angrily and then a few hours later felt guilty and acted sweet. Classic.

  4. #4
    alcide
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    Most cheater at first has a shameful smile, then they hardly look at you in the eye, then there they goes dening the hell out of them that they are faithful.

    Then you know the best part of it we on the other hand buys it and full for the lie. Besides thats life and this thing hurt soooooooooo muchhhhhhhhh words cant describe but we would like to stop it, but lol thats life.

  5. #5
    EllisBreaks
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    Quote Originally Posted by southerngirl [Register to see the link]
    I think every cheater acts differently.

    What is it that makes you think he is cheating on you!

    I feel for you, you do not need to be worrying about this while you are 9 months pregnant!

    Please tell us more Ok? Id love to help if I can.

    Go ahead, millions are waiting.
    Hey SG, thanks for posting. Here are some details.

    He's stopped sleeping with me 6-7 monthes ago for one thing. He keeps giving me different excuses as to why. Mostly he feels weird about having sex bcause of baby. I understand this to a point... but it doesn't seem like him because it is so out of character fgs. He is into some crazy porn, and it eludes me that sex with a pregnant woman would be "weird" to him.

    Also, i found out through a few tests that he's been unplugging the phone to call people when i'm notaround, because he has to reset the time on it all the time, and i've laid a few traps for him, he's fallen in.

    He mentioned getting a cell phone a few months ago, and i said we didn't need one. He got mad. I remembered he had an old one in the basement. I went to look for it and it was gone. Charger and all. Where as it was there before i KNOW it was. ~ This is what he flipped out on me for. I confronted him about this. He went down to look for it.... of course he couldn't find it.

    He has bsically been avoiding me at home. We've sunken into a sick routine. He drinks 8 beer a night, either plays video games, downloads porn or loses himself in music. He never spends time with me. I am laid up in our bedroom because i have severe pain and need my leg propped at all times to be comfortable. He just doesn't seem to care. I hear his words. But his actions i see differently. He tells me ALL the time "I could never lay my hands on another woman" But all he does is check out girls in front of me, comment on them.. this hurts! Especially now that i'm big and fat. IRL and on TV. That never used to bug me, but now i've become SUPER insecure. I don't even feel like a woman anymore and i'm pregnant!

    Also, he started a new job, and i went to get him, as we were talking out a young cashier (on his 3rd day) was super excited to see him and she was beaming She asked if he worked today and when he repiled (he was strained) he was on lunch she was all giddy and said GREAT see ya later then! and when we got back from lunch, she was outside like she was waiting and smoking. I don't know if any of this means anything... but after that, when i'd go into the store, she'd avoid eye contact with me at all costs. Close her till when she seen me coming...

    There are other things as well, but i'm in a rush so i'll come back and post more later ok?

  6. #6
    EQD
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    usually i should think if you are onto them and they are lying they will get very angry and upset, and the longer you stay on him the worse it will get.
    Its a way to try and keep you off the subject.
    It would be hard to distinguish that from the normal "getting annoyed" because you keep asking, i think the former would be alot more tense and invasive.

  7. #7
    Miss Firecracker
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    If you weren't expecting this baby, would you even be dating this man? I would think not. Try not to think too hard about these things now, and get through the pregnancy with as little stress as possible. When you are over this, you will see things very clearly.

  8. #8
    arwen
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    Hi girl, I am so sorry you are going through this, especially that you are going through this right now.

    It seems to me that there is a whole lot of things that aren't going well- in the final stage of your pregnancy he should be taking care of you and making you as comfortable as he can. That is independent of the issue if he's cheating or not in my opinion. Are you talking at all now?

    Take care,

    Arwen

  9. #9
    EllisBreaks
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    He yelled and screamed at me that he needed to be trusted. I don't give him that, so he has a hard time giving me what i need. Which is to be wanted. I don't feel wanted. I don't feel loved.

    I watched him sink into his cycle of beer hockey games, video games and jerking off to porn after he thoght i was asleep. Paying no attention to me. Only coming into our room to give me a quick peck on his way to the bathroom. He's even started using a separate blanket in bed... * * * ??

    Every night with the masturbation. Yet he doesn't touch me Every morning, on the computer i'd see he was at it again. But he says there is something wrongwith his libido. He doesn't know that i know his hectic schedule of masturbation. How can it be his libido if he masturbates so much? That proves there's nothing wrong with it. He says he goes limp. That only happened 2 times with us. I hear him at night... it doesn't sound like some one who has problems keeping it up.


    I don't know what to do. I feel like i'm becoming obsessed in catching him. It's driving me crazy. Yet, i've planed an old (tape) VVR recorder. I've noticed that the tape is only 1 hour long and it was planted to far away from the phone to pick up conversations. Only the ringing of the phone.

    I think i might buy a digital on that records up to 36 hours straight... It is smallelr and lighter, and it can be easily taped to the bottom side of the coffee table where the phone is. Am i losing it, or is this a good idea? I feel like i'm losing it.

    He told me yesterday in the midst of the argument that he thought i was depressed and thinks i'm bi-polar.

  10. #10
    EllisBreaks
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    Quote Originally Posted by arwen [Register to see the link]
    Hi girl, I am so sorry you are going through this, especially that you are going through this right now.

    It seems to me that there is a whole lot of things that aren't going well- in the final stage of your pregnancy he should be taking care of you and making you as comfortable as he can. That is independent of the issue if he's cheating or not in my opinion. Are you talking at all now?

    Take care,

    Arwen
    Thanks Arwen.

    Yes we are. We argued all morning yesterday on IM. Then I told him i was coming home for lunch and asked him to please leave me alone, that i was exhausted and wanted to rest on my munch break.. I knew he'd start screaming at me, so i asked him not to.

    As soon as i got there and laid down he came in and started screaming at me. That he needs to be trusted and he's not doing anything wrong. I didn't yell at him at all. But he was furious. It went on like that through out lunch. I locked myself in the bathroom because i didn't want to hear it anymore. After that i came back to work.

    He IMed me close to the end of the day and said he was sorry and asked if i was still mad. Also that my brother was there and would be there drinking a few beer with him when i got home. My brother jumped him last summer, because of the way he was treating me, and they just finally made up and starting being friends again. I was happy to hear that he was there, so I acted as if nothing was wrong all night, it was the first time they've actually sat down together and had a beer since my brother jumped him..

    Today, he never mentioned a thing, was trying to be loving, and was happy. I was super depressed, and didn't try to hide it. But he never said anything anyway. He just acted all happy.

    I don't get it. Is this the behavior of a cheater? Or someone who is REALLY trying to make a relationship work??? I'm so lost.

  11.  

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