Hi everyone. I am having some problems deciding what to do about this situation. Any advice would be most appreciated.
Two days ago my, just recently turned, 21 year old son told me about an incident that happened this summer and he is having MAJOR guilt issues with it. His best friend, who is 22 and an Army Ranger was home, on leave for a few days and of course my son was with him for the majority of his time back home. After a very large party one Saturday night, my son was awakened the next morning by his best friend's mom basically on top of him. Kissing him, and fondling him. She is 38, my son, at the time was 20. He told me he was still a little "foggy" and partially drunk from the night before, but he knew what was happening. She was not drunk, hadn't drank the night before (supposedly). Anyway, the lust progressed and they had sex.
My son said he felt horribly guilty before, during and after. He knew it was wrong but he didn't stop himself or her. He said she acted as though nothing was wrong with what happened and went on about her business as usual.
My son has known this family since he was 12 years old. He even used to call her his "second" Mom, because he would be over there almost everyday.
I am so angry with her I can barely contain myself. Yes, I do know it takes two to tango, but this woman knew better! I can't believe she did this. My son is very remorseful and guilt ridden, he is really beating himself up so I didn't give him "the lecture". He not only feels guilty about how this will affect his relationship with his best friend, but the fact that she is married, with other children and her husband is a friend of my son's as well and he basically grew up with this family.
Here is my dilemma...His best friend has heard through the grapevine that this happened and he is now trying to call my son to get the facts. I told him he needs to be honest with him. He should tell him the whole truth if he asks. BUT, I told him to be prepared for a break in the friendship, be prepared to be yelled at, called every name in the book. But also, be prepared to take it and not try to give excuses or place blame. Do you think this is good advice? Did I tell him the right thing to do? I want, so badly to contact her and tell her exactly what I think of her and what she did. Should I? Or should I stay completely out of it? I normally DO NOT fight his battles and I am not trying to do that now.
Oh, one more thing...apparently she has done this before with many other guys. It was not a one time thing for her. AND she has called my son telling him not to tell her son the truth. She has called him crying, saying she thought she could trust my son not to tell anyone. She is a real piece of work!!
I am so angry I am about to lose it!
Thanks for any helpful advice or suggestions you can give me.