Partial Success

We spend so much time on here talking about our bad feelings (and trust that I still have many of those including this morning) that I wanted to write about partial success this weekend. I was signed up to run the Las Vegas Marathon this weekend with my dad and my sister -- mom came along for the trip. The weekend was tough and I dealt with a lot of anxiety, which is still bothering me after over a month. But, I wanted to share that I enjoyed some time with my family without thinking about my ex. She popped into my head quite a bit over the weekend, but not the entire weekend. I was even able to help pace my sister in the marathon to break her personal best, which was an awesome bonding experience. My worst moment was the small nap I took after the marathon and a big breakfast. I woke up, not even knowing what I was dreaming about, but feeling HORRIBLE.

I guess the point of this is to let people know the weekend was a success, in hindsight. It wasn't perfect, but I can talk about parts of it I enjoy that are slowly replacing the consuming thoughts of my break-up. We all say that we need to force ourselves to get out and do stuff, and this is an example of something that has some success for me. I'm not done on my journey, but it's a great step in the right direction.

Any other success stories? I want to hear some positives...

Hey BK,great to see that you are doing the marathon with your family.

It shows that you are making progress.

I think you know that you are not past the finishing post yet(pardon the pun)but you are headed in the right direction.Keep up the positive thinking and I hope to see you improve even further.I am on the path of healing too.I think I have hit my deepest low,and am now heading upwards,thank God,but it's necessary,to grow and learn.

Does this count??

I have admitted to a friend today that if he said he was sorry and could we maybe try again then I'm not sure I'd agree to it

That is awesome. I don't know that I could say the same, although I have gotten to the point where it would have to be under some of MY conditions. I think that is a huge step that you've admitted that to yourself and even better that you verbalized it to a friend.

Does this count??

 

I have admitted to a friend today that if he said he was sorry and could we maybe try again then I'm not sure I'd agree to it

That's what I said from the day after the break-up. I said to myself (and friends), unless he agrees to couples counseling and getting himself into therapy AND he guarantees that he can give me a commitment then I'd give him a chance. Without those conditions met, though, I'd give him a "NO."

That is awesome. I don't know that I could say the same, although I have gotten to the point where it would have to be under some of MY conditions. I think that is a huge step that you've admitted that to yourself and even better that you verbalized it to a friend.

Ahh, but the negative side to it would be that I WOULD think about it.

But the plus side of it is that I know I would have to think long and hard about it. He broke my trust, and if you can't trust someone then there is no base for a relationship (not even a friendship) so I'd make him earn my trust, then see how I felt.

All irrelevant of course, because he won't come back to me

Ahh, but the negative side to it would be that I WOULD think about it.

But the plus side of it is that I know I would have to think long and hard about it. He broke my trust, and if you can't trust someone then there is no base for a relationship (not even a friendship) so I'd make him earn my trust, then see how I felt.

 

All irrelevant of course, because he won't come back to me

 

True, trust is hard to get back -- sometimes impossible.

 

I don't see any reconciliation in my situation either... SIGH!

You are getting there man. Moving through the break up is a series of gradual steps like this. First, we are unable to feel anything but horrible pain for a long time. Then, we feel it 99% of the time, then less and less. Eventually life is enjoyable again. I see you had quantifiable amounts of time where you werent thinking about the ex. That is huge! Nice work man, keep it up.

As for success stories? This stuff is happening to me so often now I dont even use the term anymore, but I had a great weekend. I spent time with 2 new friends I made this school year, and we are really getting close. Its a great thing because even though I may not have a girlfriend who cares about me right now, I made friends with two good people who legitamately care about me. We had a dinner party (they brought their boyfriends, I was the fifth wheel and went to our university's football game on saturday. Really, hanging out with friends that care about me, who didnt even know me when I was in a relationship, is really great.

Keep up the healing!