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Fake diamond engagement ring


pos69sum

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I have not posted in a long time - the good news is because I've been dating a wonderful woman for the past 8 months. We are very happy and she has recently moved in with me.

 

We both want to get married as soon as possible. We are very much in love and it just feels like the right thing to do. The problem - I don't have enough money for an expensive diamond engagement ring.

 

My girlfriend knows my financial situation - I make good money, I own a nice home, but I have not paid a lot of attention to saving aside from my retirement account at work until this year. Right now number one financial priority is paying off my huge student loan and becoming financially independent. It would only take me around six months to save enough for an expensive diamond ring that would cost between 5000-10000 dollars.

 

Last night she was incredibly sweet and told me that she had been researching some websites that well high quality diamond simulants. She said she only wants to be with me, and does not care about expensive jewelry. She says that the diamond industry is a corrupt cartel behind slavery and genocide in Sierra Leone, and she does not want to support their corrupt business practices. She told me that we should just buy a moderately priced ring from one of the web sites she had researched that sell high quality diamond simulants and/or synthetic diamonds A ring such as this would cost less than a thousand dollars, which we could buy immediately - which would give us enough time to announce our engagement to our parents over the holidays.

 

I was fully expecting to have to fork over the next 10000 dollars that I saved up to buy her a ring, this came as a huge surprise to me. It would enable us to help her parents out with the wedding costs, and to make a huge dent in our student loans so that we could start off our marriage on the right foot financially. This just seems really wonderful, I don't know why I am so conflicted about it.

 

On the one hand I know that I am an extremely lucky guy to be dating such a practical, shrewd, and empathetic woman. Most women dream of a huge diamond ring their whole lives and here she is telling me not to worry about it, go spend the money on paying off my student loans. On the other hand, I love this woman and I want her to have the best, even if she doesn't seem to want it herself. It would kill me if someone ever said anything mean or insulting to her about having a fake ring, or make assumptions that she was dating someone who couldn't afford to buy her the best.

 

What do you think of this situation? Should I go ahead with it, or will we regret buying a fake diamond engagement ring sometime in the future?

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I think you should think yourself lucky to have an understanding women. Btw they are not fake diamonds they are real, they are just man made. In any case discuss it with her, how serious she was and if it would ever bother her. Worst case is if you decide to it bothers you, you can get it reset with a real diamond.

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I had the same feelings as your fiancee. My ex bought me an engagement ring but when we thought we were working our problems out and "He" wanted to symbolize a fresh start he was going to buy me a new one (wasn't a big deal to me but ok) and I stumbled on a website about mossinate (sp?) rings. Which look and can cut like a diamond but last long and are cheaper and have twice the shine etc. I went and looked at some and they are beautiful rings. I say go with what you can afford and agree on and if nothing else for an anniversary further down the road buy her a real diamond if you so desire.

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why don't you just buy a nice, decently priced engagement ring that wont cause you go bankrupt?

 

Anyone who spends $10,000 on any ring is freakin stupid IMO, that is whats wrong with the world today, everyone thinks you have to spend fortunes to show someone you love them. I like your gf's idea, and she seems like a real keeper!!

 

You can buy a nice cubic zirconia ring that unless inspected by someone knowing what they're looking for you couldn't even tell it was "fake" and besides, I'd feel alot less horrible if I happened to lose the cubic zirconia ring rather than losing an over priced expensive diamond ring.

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I think you should go ahead with the less expensive ring. If she doesn't care, then there really is no conflict. One of my best friends recently got engaged and has similar feelings about not wanting to support the diamond industry (for all the reasons your gf mentioned). Her bf picked out a beautuful pearl engagement ring and she is over the moon about it.

 

Further down the road if it does bother her or you, you can always buy her a more expensive ring for an anniversary present. Your gf sounds great- and it is so nice to hear about somone who is more excited about getting married and starting a life togeher than the size of the rock on her finger. Good luck and make sure you post about it when you pop the question!!

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i agree, there is something sick about starting off a marriage wearing something that represents a corrupt industry and loss of human life. i think that either man-made diamonds or cubic zirconia or whatnot are a great way to go - much cheaper, and not all that blood.

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A lot of the ones i have looked at are hard to distinguish from a real one. I wasn't able to tell the difference and I had the two in front of me. Unless she tells someone, no one will know the difference. Also, its not likely you'll even think about it after several months. things like that slip the mind. Don't worry about what others think. She cares about you and wants to be with you! Get what she says will make her happy.

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A good one is the diamondique collection by QVC. My friend has a HUGE Diamondique ring and EVERYONE thinks its real. I think she said she got the whole set, the engagement ring and the wedding band for like $150-$200 bucks. Just go to link removed. And if you want to go for something real, link removed has quite a few cheap diamond rings, but they are small.

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Why not get another precious gemstone instead that might be less than a diamond? The plain gold band also works beautifully. And, congratulations!

 

Not sure where you got the "most women dream of a big rock"- I certainly didn't (my hands are small, for one thing and I don't like big jewelry) and among the women I know we may dream big but not about big diamonds. It's nice that your girlfriend doesn't care but I don't find her attitude unusual.

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Women who dream about massive diamond rocks on their fingers are dreaming about waving their finger around in everybody's face and showing off their expensive jewelry. To them it is about a material possession rather than the symbolism of commitment and spending your life with someone. Your girlfriend sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders and recognizes that it is not the size and quality of the ring that counts, it is what that ring stands for. Don't feel guilty about it. Even if you could afford it, why throw away $5000-$10,000 on a ring when you can use that money towards securing a future for the two of you. Remember, the more the ring is worth, the more it will cost you per year on the insurance. It will never be too late to get her a diamond ring some time down the road when you are both more financially secure. For now, I think being practical is a wise idea.

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I think she is a smart lady. Go with her instincts, and it is apparently ok with her.

 

I thihk diamonds that cost that much are a huge waste, but hey, you are talking to a girl who would lose it.

 

Let her pick out the one she wants. if it is a cubic zirconia that has a high end setting (there are some beautiful cz's out there) let her pick it out and roll with it.

 

And let me tell you your wallet will sing when you can spend that cash on other things.

 

But then again, i hate the whole diamond thing. I'd rather have a new car. LOL

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Why not get another precious gemstone instead that might be less than a diamond? The plain gold band also works beautifully. And, congratulations!

 

Not sure where you got the "most women dream of a big rock"- I certainly didn't (my hands are small, for one thing and I don't like big jewelry) and among the women I know we may dream big but not about big diamonds. It's nice that your girlfriend doesn't care but I don't find her attitude unusual.

 

This is another good idea. My coworker loved onyx. Her wedding set is an onyx stone surrounded by diamonds. I am sure this cost a fraction of what a one or two carat diamond would cost. and it is beautiful.

 

Another good option is vintage jewelery. think ebay.

 

I think couples who are more creative than rich are the coolest. LOL

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$10,000 could be a down payment for a house. It could be a car for you or your wife to get to work. It could be supporting a kid. It could be an emergency fun. These are practical uses. A ring, though flashy and romantic and meaningful, is not in the slightest bet practical.

 

I would find a way to get her a ring that is really meaningful. Do you guys have a place where you met, or something like that? Go to that place, take a plane trip if you have to, buy the ring there. Even if it costs you $1000 bucks it'll have alot of sentimentality attached to it.

 

Get the vibe?

 

By the way you got yourself an awesome girl!!!!

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I think it's wonderful that she wants to start off your marriage by eliminating debt as you do and is more interested in being with you than an expensive piece of jewelry.

 

If it makes you feel bad, you can get her the ring she's asking for now, and maybe make a promise to her that on your 10th anniversary you'd like to replace it with a 'real' diamond, if that is something that is important to you.

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It's not just about her not wanting an expensive ring - which is great of her. But this is also key:

She says that the diamond industry is a corrupt cartel behind slavery and genocide in Sierra Leone, and she does not want to support their corrupt business practices.

 

She actively doesn't want one for this reason and I think you should respect that.

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It's not just about her not wanting an expensive ring - which is great of her. But this is also key:

 

 

She actively doesn't want one for this reason and I think you should respect that.

 

I agree! My brother bought a diamond ring for his girlfriend before he was aware of how she felt about them. She prefers not to wear it for ethical reasons... I think he will sell it, but unfortunately will probably not regain the money he spent on it.

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Um...no, not all women dream of a giant diamond ring.

 

I personally also do not support conflict diamonds, and would rather have a man-made one (or Canadian sourced diamond) if at all - but there are so many stones I prefer to diamonds that are far less $.

 

And, I don't need an engagement ring at all; I don't think it is that necessary to be honest. Not saying I would not find it very sweet and love the gift that came with the promise, or that I would turn it down of course....but I don't find it NECESSARY as a precondition to getting married is all.

 

 

I certainly would never want a $10,000 ring - just not my style at all (though for some it is fine if that is what is their taste or liking...just not mine) and I don't consider myself thinking I don't "deserve the best". It is about what I am comfortable with (or not comfortable with) - and it does not make me "shrewd" either (don't call your future wife shrewd by the way - I know you meant it to be flattering, but it really isn't!). Marriage is not about what whom "deserves" what in terms of pretty baubles. It is about deciding to have a life together, and figuring out how to do that TOGETHER.

 

Personally, when I get married; we are both old enough and independent enough to pay for our own wedding and while it will be VERY small, I would never want to make it all about "my" ring - I would rather have no engagement ring then put financial stress on him (and us) and be able to not also be scratching to find money for a wedding (even if it is very small and simple!).

 

You can wait a little longer to save up more (though I would still say not necessary to save $10,000....) or buy the more affordable ring; have more money for the wedding or a downpayment or vacation, and you can always replace it down the road (if she still wears the engagement ring...many women eventually take it off and just wear band as it can be a bit much for daily wear after a while).

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I think it's wonderful that she wants to start off your marriage by eliminating debt as you do and is more interested in being with you than an expensive piece of jewelry.

 

If it makes you feel bad, you can get her the ring she's asking for now, and maybe make a promise to her that on your 10th anniversary you'd like to replace it with a 'real' diamond, if that is something that is important to you.

 

This is great advice, however your Patriots avatar is offensive to me.

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I say buy her what she wants. She's already told you. Take her feelings into consideration as well. She's said "this is much more what I would like" and if you got her something else, she might be disappionted.

 

I constantly told my boyfriend that I didnt want a diamond ring, aside from all the reasons mentions, I just don't find them all that beautiful. I think they are very over rated. I mentioned to him several times that Jade is my favorite stone, i also love turquiose, and I love silver.

 

When he asked me to marry him, he presented me with a gold diamond ring.

 

He had spent a good two hours picking out that one specifically for me and he thought it was beautiful. I felt horrible. I did not think it was beautiful and I felt terrible that he'd wasted so much money [in my opinion]. I also felt as though he hadn't actually listened to the things I'd been telling him.I told him i didnt like diamonds and I told him what I did like, and he went and bought me diamonds. I wanted to like it because he HAD put time and effort into picking it out for me and he DID think i'd like it, but I simply couldn't because it was all the things I didn't want or like. i know i hurt him deep because i didn't like it, and to this day i still feel horrible about it.

 

if you bought her a diamond ring after she has expressed her objection to it, she would probably feel A- you aren't listening to her wishes B- ddisgusted by what the diamonds stands for in her opinions, and C- guilty because you spent so much money and she doesn't want to even touch it, let alone wear it.

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