Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 24

Thread: Ok, WHY would you avoid someone you like?

  1. #1
    bella2007
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    179

    Ok, WHY would you avoid someone you like?

    I never will understand why a person would run away or hide from someone you are interested in romantically or at least are attracted to??? I always thought that it was a good thing to have a crush on someone. I want to be around them more actually...can you all please explain why all the hiding or avoidance? Thanks

  2. #2
    Dako
    Platinum Member Dako's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    SoCal
    Age
    64
    Posts
    9,175
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    2
    I've done that before.

    If a person isn't ready to be involved, vulnerable, exposed, responsible or in tune with another person, they withdraw from intimate situations.

  3. #3
    ActionJackson
    Member ActionJackson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Houston, Texas
    Posts
    101
    Gender
    Male
    Maybe the person is really shy and is ashamed of their looks. Maybe they don't know what to say to their crush. I know for a few years I would freeze up around my crush. Or Maybe it goes deeper, their embarrased by something, like a personal trait or habit.

  4. #4
    Lucy_lou
    Silver Member Lucy_lou's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Age
    38
    Posts
    329
    Gender
    Female
    When you have feelings for someone you become vulnerable to them, and you feel like you are no longer in control of your emotions, because they become powerful triggers of your emotions. They can affect you, and if you're a control freak like me, then that's very unsettling to be so affected. It's when the universe reminds you that you're small, and that's scary.

  5. #5
    shikashika
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Age
    39
    Posts
    5,651
    Gender
    Female
    Self preservation!!

    Ever seen "Love Actually"?

    Remember the guy who was secretly in love with Keira Knightly? he pretended to hate her.

    I think this is very common. who hasn't been scared poo-less around someone they like!

  6. #6
    BongoBongo
    BongoBongo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Just between here and there.......
    Age
    41
    Posts
    15
    Gender
    Male
    Well, i suppose it could be that both people have a crush on each other but one is fearful and just not ready, which in turn makes the other fearful that their own crush will get stronger and stronger and that the other person will never be ready/prepared/willing to see what happens

  7. #7
    love4life
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Age
    35
    Posts
    1,696
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    7
    Quote Originally Posted by bella2007 [Register to see the link]
    I never will understand why a person would run away or hide from someone you are interested in romantically or at least are attracted to??? I always thought that it was a good thing to have a crush on someone. I want to be around them more actually...can you all please explain why all the hiding or avoidance? Thanks
    Oh no! My post on Raiden's thread prompted this, didn't it?!

    It's insecurity and fear of rejection, plain and simple. We invest our self-worth in that person's eyes and if they don't view us as the most valuable thing, we want to go stick our heads in the sand...

  8. #8
    pacman
    Bronze Member pacman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    USA
    Age
    32
    Posts
    200
    Gender
    Male
    Theyre afraid of rejection. I guess.

    Been there done that, many many times. More than likely I just didnt have the guts to put myself out there and get to the point where it comes down to yes or no from them. I dont take being judged well and I am afraid of being rejected.

  9. #9
    RedPenguin
    Member RedPenguin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Age
    28
    Posts
    822

    Hmmm

    I used to avoid someone that I like because I was nervous and was afraid to face them.

    Now I feel I can talk and not avoid them.

  10. #10
    ActionJackson
    Member ActionJackson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Houston, Texas
    Posts
    101
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by love4life [Register to see the link]
    Oh no! My post on Raiden's thread prompted this, didn't it?!

    It's insecurity and fear of rejection, plain and simple. We invest our self-worth in that person's eyes and if they don't view us as the most valuable thing, we want to go stick our heads in the sand...

    Well, those 2 are a good deal of what most people exprience, but I agree with Lucy Lou, when you like someone you do feel vulnerable and no longer really in control of your emotions. That person, pretty much is a powerful trigger of your emotions.

    (Sorry If I directally copied your words Lucy, I didn't know of another way to word them.)

  11. 11-28-2007, 11:56 PM

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Top Threads
Ready to date the ugly guy?
Hi, I am actually a little shy about asking this question because Im scared Im going to come across as too vain but I really need some
Ok, what's going on here
So there's this younger guy at work. I admit i find him attractive and intelligent but i know he's like 5 years younger than me so i consider him a
Attraction or no?
This is puzzling so I'll ask it: If a girl tells you she feeds off your vibes at work to get her through the day, is it flirting?
My crush wanna only Freindship
One month ago I met this lady older than 10 years to me. She initially talk to me about her ex breakup which is so painful to her. I was listening
Strange behaviour
There's this girl I met through work. She's really cute and I wanted to get to know her better so I started talking to her, and in the end we even
Mutually attracted to coworker who is in a relationship
So I recently started working at a new place (we switch work places every six months as resident doctors in a hospital) and there is this lesbian
he has a girlfriend but we flirt?
So me and this guy i like grew up as acquaintances as kids but in the last year became really close, and when we got really close, we ended up

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Dating younger guy 24 years difference
I am 50 yrs old dating a 26 yrs old guy. We been dating each other for a couple months things are great between us. He told me he will always be
Boyfriend gets very angry if I mention his ex, is this normal?
Hi everyone! My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 5months. He broke up with his ex and a year and a half ago. 7 months after they
Should I let my boyfriend stay overnight with his friends?
Hi there. Firstly thank you for reading this post. I am a new member to this forum, and also will soon be new immigrant of the UK so basically there
Is this abuse?
Im desperate for some advice. Ive been with my partner for nearly 2 years and everything has been ok, except from when he drinks. I really do not
Is there hope for me?
Me and my girlfriend of two years had been talking about moving in together lately. We didn't actually go look at any place in person, but browsed a
Bringing up trust issues at the start of a new relationship? My situation...
Haven't been on these boards since my last break up a couple years ago, and here I am about to begin a new relationship with feelings from the last
Whats my next move - Dating a girl fresh out of a relationship
Hey guys, So heres the deal. Met a girl in class and I asked her out. Her answer was "maybe" because she didn't want to say no to me but just
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •