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Thread: "innocent" flirt

  1. #1
    Gold Member cichlid's Avatar
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    "innocent" flirt

    I'm a flirt with guys that interest me. I can't help it. I reflected back on what happened the other day and realize that I am to blame for 60% of it. I'll put a detailed description of what happened in my journal.

    Right now I flirt like crazy with two of my guy friends. I know one would date me in a heart beat.

    I have a stable relationship with my BF but I am not as loyal as he thinks. I wanted to confess to him about what happened the past few days with a guy friend, but he wouldn't listen. Once, just once, I wanted to be honest.

    I wish he would just stop changing subjects on me and let me finish my story. I wish it wasn't so hard to be open with him. I'm not all that innocent and I hate the fact that he assumes I am simply because I am a virgin!

    I guess the reason I flirt is to make up for the attention that my BF doesn't give me. If he found out what a flirt I am, he would be devastated. The flirting is not that innocent.

    UPDATE: I became single as of Sunday....
    Last edited by cichlid; 11-27-2007 at 08:52 AM. Reason: update

  2. #2
    Member Taking The Lead's Avatar
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    They say in life... what comes around... goes around.

  3. #3
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    You sound like a very messed up woman. If your boyfriend isn't giving you attention try....hmmm.... TELLING HIM THAT. Not this bullcrap of "I'm such a victim that I have to hit on other guys behind my boyfriends back". Not only that but you're deliberately toying with someone you claim to be a "friend" just for an ego boost.

    Grow up, leave your b/f if you don't want to be with him otherwise talk to him like how adults resolve relationship conflicts.

  4. #4
    JadedStar's Avatar
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    The flirting is not that innocent.


    Why are you still with him then? apparently if your flirting is crossing boundaries your b/f is not fulfilling your needs. Next time he changes the topic tell him, "we need to talk" and don't let him do it.

    I think you should break up with him if you feel the need to have this amount of external stimulation. Maybe if you found the right guy you wouldn't need it.

    Or maybe you have more insecurity than you realize and you need these boosts to pick up your ego. This happens a lot with insecure people.

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by Superfreak
    You sound like a very messed up woman. If your boyfriend isn't giving you attention try....hmmm.... TELLING HIM THAT. Not this bullcrap of "I'm such a victim that I have to hit on other guys behind my boyfriends back". Not only that but you're deliberately toying with someone you claim to be a "friend" just for an ego boost.

    Grow up, leave your b/f if you don't want to be with him otherwise talk to him like how adults resolve relationship conflicts.
    I agree 100%.

  7. 11-23-2007, 06:22 PM

  8. #6
    Silver Member CandyKins's Avatar
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    Are your flirting portrayed in a highly sexual and intimate way? If so... you gotta try and ease that way of flirting out, as you have a bf. It's really not healthy for the relationship. It's fine to be with a bf and flirt sometimes or rarely portrayed in a mild way, not taking it so seriously though.

    Maybe you shouldn't tell him, because he might think negatively of you and find it hard to trust you. You could tell him you're not a virgin, he shouldn't decline you lol.

    The only way to grab his attention is at night where the nightlife dies..... Grab him by his arms, shake him a bit and say, "Please listen to me, I really need to tell you something!" Hehe that should work.

  9. #7
    Gold Member cichlid's Avatar
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    JadedStar, yeah, probably...I need a guy that has a bit more depth. He's kind of pathetic. I feel like I am not getting the emotional attention that I need out of him.

    I'm still with him because he's a good guy. Still not sexually attracted to him. I tried...I shudder when looking at pictures of us together. He kind of lacks a personality and I feel like he is too brainwashed by religion to think for himself. I guess that's why most my friends are semi-religious liberals.

    I'm not insecure. I just crave attention. And the relationship is kind of boring when he's not able to keep a conversation flowing and refuses to talk about issues with controversy. I don't get offended that easily and it bugs me that if we disagree, he thinks we are fighting even though it's not.

    Superfreak, you're assuming I don't like the guys that I flirt with. You would be mistaken.

    Ellie2006, I have spoken with him. He changes for awhile and then slips back into his same old patterns. I think the next guy I date will be someone that interests me with my heart, instead of logically thinking it is a good idea with my head. This whole situation would have been avoided had I said no since I was never attracted to him in the first place. For some reason I think that if I admit that I am not loyal, he will do the honors of breaking up with me.

    CandyKins, I would describe my flirts as playful and suggestive, but not all that intimate. I never flirt intentionally, it just happens naturally most the time. I'm a very goofy person. If you read the other comments to others, you will see kind of why I want to tell him.

  10. #8
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Ellie2006
    Hi,
    Instead of trying to "confess" to him about what a flirt you are and how you're not as innocent as he thinks, how about talking to him directly about the issues in your relationship -- e.g. the lack of attention on his part?

    While I think it's good that you're trying to talk to him to give him a better understanding of who you are, I just dont see how "confessing" to him about your flirting would be constructive -- wouldn't the details only hurt him?

    Also, how do you feel about him stonewalling your attempts to talk? Does he do this often?
    I agree - Cichlid - is this the same boyfriend that you were thinking of breaking up with a few months ago? Maybe it's time you did, you two don't sound very compatible. It certainly doesn't sound like he gives you what you want, so you should break up and meet someone more compatible for you.

  11. #9
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by cichlid
    JadedStar, yeah, probably...I need a guy that has a bit more depth. He's kind of pathetic. I feel like I am not getting the emotional attention that I need out of him.

    I'm still with him because he's a good guy. Still not sexually attracted to him. I tried...I shudder when looking at pictures of us together. He kind of lacks a personality and I feel like he is too brainwashed by religion to think for himself. I guess that's why most my friends are semi-religious liberals.

    .
    If a guy is a good guy, you don't have to be his gf. you can just be friends. But a lover, boyfriend, husband, you should like them, AND be wildly attracted to them. A guy who is just a good guy, no chemistry, that is a friend. Why force yourself to be with someone you don't want to be with?

    Take a chance, break it off, be single, and then you'll meet someone who will make you go wild, both physically and mentally.

  12. #10
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    For some reason I think that if I admit that I am not loyal, he will do the honors of breaking up with me.

    Oooooh, I just re-read this. This is really key. It seems like you might be wanting to do "bad stuff" like "not-so-innocent-flirting" so that you don't have to be the dumper. You'd rather have him say, "you're a tramp, I never want to see you again" rather than go up to him and say, "I don't think you're the one for me."

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