Odd Thought -- The Ex

Has anyone ever considered that their ex could get on this site and look at their posts? Afterall, it's not like I hid myself. I use my name that I use everywhere and I have my picture on my profile!

I guess I shouldn't care. This site is for me, not her...

Yep BK, I myself don't care if my ex saw this site.... he'd probably be embarrassed as hell... but hey, he'd also deserve it..... but having said that, the jerk is computer illiterate, guess I don't have alot to worry about.....

My ex knows I'm on here, so I don't care. I have nothing to hide and tell the truth. Maybe he would get to know the real me if he read into my thoughts.

Yeah you're right there are people that have joined on here ONLY because their exes were already members. Kinda stalkerish me thinks

I myself would LOVE it if my ex would come accross this site and see my posts. I think that in a way he would feel bad for all the pain he caused me, and i'm sorry, but he needs to feel bad.

I myself would LOVE it if my ex would come accross this site and see my posts. I think that in a way he would feel bad for all the pain he caused me, and i'm sorry, but he needs to feel bad.

I have to say that's exactly how I feel right now...I'm not sure why 6 months post break up I still want him to know what pain he's caused me, but I do...so want to write him a letter to tell him but I know in the end it would be counterproductive to my healing.

Sometimes I wonder if he knows I'm on here as I'm pretty sure he knows about this site being the internet guru he is (and my avatar was my pic for a while so I wasn't exactly hiding anything), but I'm not hiding anything anymore. Did that for 2 years and I feel so liberated to be able to speak freely on this site and with my friends & family...woo-hoo!

I have to say that's exactly how I feel right now...I'm not sure why 6 months post break up I still want him to know what pain he's caused me, but I do...so want to write him a letter to tell him but I know in the end it would be counterproductive to my healing.

 

Sometimes I wonder if he knows I'm on here as I'm pretty sure he knows about this site being the internet guru he is (and my avatar was my pic for a while so I wasn't exactly hiding anything), but I'm not hiding anything anymore. Did that for 2 years and I feel so liberated to be able to speak freely on this site and with my friends & family...woo-hoo!

It's funny, because i'm six months post breakup myself. my ex actually replied to an e-mail that i sent him a couple of months ago. He told me that our relationship had not been a game to him and that his feelings for me had been real. He then went on to say that i hadn't done anything wrong and that i had made him very happy. He also said that he misses me as a friend and that he smiles whenever he thinks about me (was that supposed to make me feel better?).

What got me though was that he said that because of his religious beliefs (he's a Jehovahs Witness) being with me wasn't right (i'm a Baptist) and that falling in love with his best friend shortly after we broke up had taken him by surprise (She's not a JW either, so as far as his religion goes, he shouldn't be with her any more than he should have been with me). I think he's just totally confused about what he wants and i'm almost positive that his new love is going to get her heart broken by him too. Oh well, she should know better, she knew him about a year and a half before i met him.

He works for Microsoft, so he's exposed to all kinds of internet sites. Even if i didn't use my pic i'm sure he would know it's me, because i use my nickname of firefly for everything (myspace, e-mail, text messaging, IM's, etc...)

I doubt my ex knows about this site but if he did i would like him to read this:

never again will i hear you

never again will i miss you

never again will i fall to you

never

never again will i kiss you

never again will i want to

never again will i love you

never

(kelly clarkson - never again)

everytime i feel like contacting him or want some type of connection to him... i think of those words and know that i MEAN ever one of them. I don't want him back in my life.

When I first joined the thought did occur to me and I wanted to be cautious about what I said. But I guess it just shows that I have made some progress since I've managed to get to a point where I honestly wouldn't care if he read anything here.

He doesn't talk to me anyways, so it really doesn't matter. If it affected him at all, it might make him reflect on us at least, and that would be a good thing that I believe he needs to do.

Or, if he found something that made him upset, well so be it, who cares? It couldn't possibly compare to what he's put me through.

All I do here is tell the truth. And I don't post his picture or real name.

I think it is highly unlikely though. He'd have to be doing a search for a forum to share his woes on, and right now he apparently has no woes, so why would he look?

He'd have to be doing a search for a forum to share his woes on, and right now he apparently has no woes, so why would he look?

Good point. I doubt our exes are online forums about their grief. They are the ones that made the decision, and they most likely had been making it for a while before we found out. That's why they aren't on here... they have their profiles back on Match (or whatever)... and they are more likely to move on much quicker. Sucks, eh?

Sucks big time, dude! I'm entering that horrible phase where I'm starting to imagine she's already hooked up with some yuppie douchebag with a shiny new seven series and a sprawling estate in Coto.

Relationships in SoCal are so much more complicated! Finding that down-to-earth, unaffected yet confident and attractive girl around here is really a needle in a haystack fiasco, eh?

yeah, it does suck.....it would be funny though if in the future my ex would need to find this site for some help...."i don't know what to do, i acted like a complete jerk and my girl dumped me, Help!!"....to which i would reply "awww, so sorry, but you reap what you sow. Now go cry me a river buddy!".... I'm not bitter, just brutally honest.

Good point. I doubt our exes are online forums about their grief. They are the ones that made the decision, and they most likely had been making it for a while before we found out. That's why they aren't on here... they have their profiles back on Match (or whatever)... and they are more likely to move on much quicker. Sucks, eh?

Well, my ex left me for another woman who he recently proposed to, so I guess that at least takes the guessing out of it for me heh ](*,)

But, on the other hand, with two people who have a history of breaking commitments and being unfaithful to their partners, I'm sure one or the other of them will hit a point where they just might be looking for ENA after all...

It does suck to be the dumped one though. Feels sometimes like I've been punished for my commitment to him.

What out exs are doing about their grief is nothing to do with us moving forward. If they are happy or unhappy is really not our business. Our business is to stay focused on project ME! and heal.

If they're here also, devestated, then hopefully they will do a u turn and we will all be logging into the getting back together rather than the healing pages.

Well, that's part of why I don't use my photo on here. (I think there might be one photo somewhere, but whatever, just try to find it in my 16,000 posts!!! hehe).

We definitely encourage people who have privacy concerns to not use their photo, to put a fake location/birthday, and to change their name to a username that they do not use anywhere else and that won't be easily identifiable.

I know more than a few times us mods have been asked to delete someone's posts because their ex stumbled upon them.....

My exes can go ahead and read this, for all I care. But they'd have a lot of posts to go through!

Well, that's part of why I don't use my photo on here.

Me too.

I have often thought about the ex seeing my posts (and have seen a few threads in the topic) and I didn't think I would like him to see what I've written (especially what I wrote when I first joined) but now that I'm healed, I really don't care. My username is my real name, and I've revealed some pretty specific details, so I wouldn't be surprised if he 'discovered' me, but, I really doubt he'd be on here. He's pretty computer illiterate, and I really don't think he'd be on a forum, revealing his feelings to a bunch of strangers. Even the thought of it would make him roll his eyes and say 'as if'.

Sucks big time, dude! I'm entering that horrible phase where I'm starting to imagine she's already hooked up with some yuppie douchebag with a shiny new seven series and a sprawling estate in Coto.

 

Relationships in SoCal are so much more complicated! Finding that down-to-earth, unaffected yet confident and attractive girl around here is really a needle in a haystack fiasco, eh?

Ahhh, you must be in OC with the Coto reference. I guess I hadn't thought about it much, but there must be a decent number of So Cal people on here. And yes, it is very hard to find what you are talking about -- an attractive girl, who is down-to-earth, and not too caught up in the ugly parts of So Cal. I found one of them... unfortunately, she decided differently. glimmerofhope, we'll have to figure out a way to find the next one... WHEN we're ready! Appreciate the post, man.