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Thread: MEN: What makes you emotionally attached to a woman?

  1. #1
    love4life
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    MEN: What makes you emotionally attached to a woman?

    Is it after a certain amount of time that you're dating her?

    Is it having sex with her?

    Is it a particular thing she does for you (or for herself or someone else) that makes you realize she's special?

    Or is it something else?

    Can you share your stories about how and when you knew you were head over heels for your GF/Ex-GF? The more details, the better!


  2. #2
    jettison

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    For my longest relationship, I didn't know how crazy I was about her until it seemed like she was about to date my best friend. I know that sounds a little bit off, but it just hit me like a ton of bricks. We were just friends, but there was no way I was going to let her go once I realized what hit me.

    For my last relationship, it was an exact moment. She was having a terrible day. She came to visit me, and she needed to just talk. We spent the entire afternoon in a bar telling each other intimate stories. It was fun, but that wasn't what did it. We came back to my place, and the room was pitch black except for my computer. I made her listen to a song about making mistakes, one that really touches me, and she started to cry. I looked at her, then she looked at me, and I knew beyond any doubt at all that I was madly in love with her. I hadn't felt that feeling in forever.

  3. #3
    chocolates

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    MEN: What makes you emotionally attached to a woman?
    Quote Originally Posted by love4life [Register to see the link]
    Is it having sex with her?

    I wonder how many men would say that this makes them emotionally attached to a woman?

    i suspect not many? or would I be wrong?

  4. #4
    love4life
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    Quote Originally Posted by chocolates [Register to see the link]
    I wonder how many men would say that this makes them emotionally attached to a woman?

    i suspect not many? or would I be wrong?
    I've always thought and been told that sex has nothing to do with it. Still...there may be exceptions out there...

  5. #5
    chocolates

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    Quote Originally Posted by love4life [Register to see the link]
    I've always thought and been told that sex has nothing to do with it. Still...there may be exceptions out there...
    that's what I think

  6. #6
    anggrace
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    Im gonna guess that sex does play a part in emotional attachment for alot of men. It does for me and I tend to think that not all men and women are as different as most people usually think. Good post though. Im curious.

  7. #7
    theartofruin
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    Sleeping with a girl gets me more emotionally involved, which is why I don't sleep around, I wouldn't be able to handle it. Only sleep with girls I already care about.

    As for falling for them in the first place... it's just the chemistry, who they are as a person. It's a gradual thing, but depending on the girl (and my personal state of mind) I might fall for them quicker.

    Only had feelings for a handful of girls my entire life, I'm usually quite distant from most people. But you do occasionally meet someone who you just can't get enough of. Love everything they say, rush home from work so you can see them or call them, would do anything for them. I can't quite put my finger on why. There are girls I'm friends with who are beautiful, genuine, sincere, kind, wonderful people --- but I have absolutely zero feelings for, just want to hang out with them, and even after years nothing develops. But now and again someone special will turn up who just has that smile, or a way of cheering you up whenever you're having a bad day. I think it's loads of little things that make me care for a girl

  8. #8
    MushroomGod
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    Its a combo of many things. Sexual attraction, intellectual connection. femininity, loving the cute little things she does I dunno, its a ton of things. How she'll be there for you when you need anything, how yhe makes you happy when shes around its lots of things and I'm picky so I can't tell ya.

  9. #9
    poloplayer
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    The vast majority of guys do not get attached after sex, however, I've known many girls who have slept with guys to get them attached. Then they would obviously be quite hurt when the guy took off - how could this have happened?

  10. #10
    -BK-
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    Is it after a certain amount of time that you're dating her?

    It does happen after a certain amount of time, but that doesn't mean it's the same amount of time for each girl. I once had it happen after 2 months when I went on a trip with the boys to Mexico. I was in another country with lots of beautiful women, some of them hitting on me, when I realized I was only thinking about her. This last time, I was actually going to end things with the girl and then I realized I would be very sad without her in my life. Instead of breaking things off, we made it official.

    Is it having sex with her?

    Sex has almost nothing to do with the emotional attachment. The sex should be good because that is part of the chemistry, but it doesn't have anything to do with the emotions.

    Is it a particular thing she does for you (or for herself or someone else) that makes you realize she's special?

    The girls that I've fallen in love with showed me love when I didn't even ask for it. This last girlfriend would get so excited to support me in my triathlons and marathons. She honestly was the biggest support (besides my parents) I've ever had in my life. It felt so good to do the race, knowing she was going to be at the finish line waiting for me -- excited to see me. That's how I knew she was interested in me and not just what I did for her.

    Or is it something else?

    Really what it comes down to is getting past the sexual chemistry. When you realize that you want to spend Friday night, Saturday night, and time during the week with her... she's a big part of your life. It's different for all men, but my experiences have been from between 2 and 6 months. It all depends how quickly you can get to know them and what kind of time you've spent with them.

    Thanks, now I'm depressed again.

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