Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 20 of 20

Thread: LDR Survival Skills: Fact or Myth?

  1. #11
    Member Copingwithdistance's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Age
    34
    Posts
    23
    Gender
    Female
    I don't consider you to be freakish (you sound a like I did a few months ago). A couple months ago, my bf and reunited after over a year's worth of LD.

    The ease of my year seemed a bit cyclical. We'd see each every three-five month. I was usually very confident for the first two months after being together and then the distance seemed to compound on itself (and I'd start getting jealous of every thing he was in contact with... sounds crazy I know). As soon as I was with him or even had the opportunity to have a a quality conversation, though, I would calm down...

    Beyond your LDR are you happy? I always found that as soon as I became entangled in stress outside of my relationship, I would begin to feel especially down.

  2. #12
    Member Copingwithdistance's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Age
    34
    Posts
    23
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by -Ophelia-
    We have very little time to talk and for the past week we haven't been using it wisely. I know I'm insecure, but spending time with a loved one is a basic human need, even those in LDRs.

    Is it possible to schedule your calls or webcam sessions (as in, designate a couple hours on the weekend to reconnect)? I know this may sound a bit too structured--as if your compartmentalizing your relationship--but by doing so, you could plan on using your time wisely....

  3. #13
    Silver Member -Ophelia-'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Age
    39
    Posts
    358
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Batya33
    What helps me in my LDR is that we both have highly demanding jobs and I am very proud of and supportive of his career so I remind myself of that when we cannot have as long a conversation as I (we) would like. In your case I would talk seriously about shortening that two years - that is a long time, no?
    We had that talk, but with his work and my studies, it's almost impossible. We made a tough decision and I guess we have to be tough in order to stick to it.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    51,394
    My parents were LD for over 4 years while they were engaged so that my father could finish his studies, over fifty years ago. What now takes less than an hour by plane took him an 8 hour train ride to visit her, which they did about once a month. Telephone calls were too expensive for every day but they wrote letters to each other. I don't think my mom would have agreed unless they were engaged They've been married over 50 years so I guess it worked out ok ;-)

  5.  

  6. #15
    Silver Member -Ophelia-'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Age
    39
    Posts
    358
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Copingwithdistance
    I don't consider you to be freakish (you sound a like I did a few months ago). A couple months ago, my bf and reunited after over a year's worth of LD.

    The ease of my year seemed a bit cyclical. We'd see each every three-five month. I was usually very confident for the first two months after being together and then the distance seemed to compound on itself (and I'd start getting jealous of every thing he was in contact with... sounds crazy I know). As soon as I was with him or even had the opportunity to have a a quality conversation, though, I would calm down...

    Beyond your LDR are you happy? I always found that as soon as I became entangled in stress outside of my relationship, I would begin to feel especially down.
    Thanks, that's really helpful; as long as someone tells me I'm no freak, I'm able to feel comfortable in my own skin again.

    I wouldn't say I'm happy. I'm kind of stuck in a rut in my life now. My social, academic and career life are currently hitting a bumpy road. Things are on their way to change, but I assume it'll take some time. All of these factors have contributed to my depression, mild depression if I may correct myself. I'm ok, but I'm not ok at the same time, you know? And I guess that besides him not understanding that I have different needs than him regarding reassuarance and secuirty, he also doesn't understand the things I'm going through. He's been so busy and I guess I haven't been that open about the things that are going on in my life. I kind of saved the time we have for all the good or positive things.

    I think scheduling phone time during weekends is an excellent idea, because he is free and less exhausted during the weekend.
    Last edited by -Ophelia-; 11-17-2007 at 07:06 PM.

  7. #16
    Silver Member -Ophelia-'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Age
    39
    Posts
    358
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Batya33
    My parents were LD for over 4 years while they were engaged so that my father could finish his studies, over fifty years ago. What now takes less than an hour by plane took him an 8 hour train ride to visit her, which they did about once a month. Telephone calls were too expensive for every day but they wrote letters to each other. I don't think my mom would have agreed unless they were engaged They've been married over 50 years so I guess it worked out ok ;-)
    Oh you mean visiting in between? Or shortening the time of living in the same city again?

    We will definitely meet up once things are setteled with his work, and between us of course.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    51,394
    I meant shortening the time as far as living in the same city.

  9. #18
    Silver Member -Ophelia-'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Age
    39
    Posts
    358
    Gender
    Female
    Oh, we talked about that, but it's impossible. We'll have to go through the distance and the pain if we want to succeed in our professional lives and resume whatever each of us started at his or her current location.

    It's tough, because we want to be with together, but we also can't until the time is right.

  10. 11-18-2007, 08:49 AM

  11. #19
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    97
    My boyfriend and I never have time to talk during the week either. We save that for weekends and have a time that is designated to talk. Other than that, just texting through the day and the occasional email. Its tough, and I get lonely and frustrated at times, but we make it work somehow.

  12. #20
    Silver Member -Ophelia-'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Age
    39
    Posts
    358
    Gender
    Female
    Once again, I fail to be an understanding partner and I fail in trying to make him understand me.

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •