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Thread: How can I tell if married man is attracted to me?

  1. #1
    fhgal
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    How can I tell if married man is attracted to me?

    I know a married man who comes to my house on occasion to pick up his child from playdates. I'm married, too. I realized one day that I'm attracted to him physically; I'm happy when I see him, and feel butterflies. The feeling just kind of came out of left field, because it's not like I have ever been looking or even thinking about other men. If i look at it objectively, he really doesn't do anything that would lead me to believe that he's attracted to me; our conversation is friendly and casual, and in front of the children...yet I can't help but wonder if he's attracted to me...could I be picking up a vibe from him? Why would I feel so attracted to someone if I didn't feel somewhere that the feeling was mutual? Becuase we are never alone, neither one of us has said anything "flirtatious" to eachother; there isn't much eye contact, because I am afraid to look at him for fear that he'll see that I'm really attracted to him. But somehow, I feel such a strong attraction, I am baffled by it. Why have I allowed myself to "cross the line" with this person versus all the other dads I have come into contact with over the years? I'd love to hear some points of view. Thanks.


  2. #2
    Crazyaboutdogs
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    Why waste your time even pondering this? He is married and you are married...enough said. Forget about him and focus on your marriage and let him focus on his marriage

  3. #3
    scotty77
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    Forgetting the fact you are both married for a moment,from what you describe it is impossible to say if he has any interest in you.Don't assume he does,just because you are interested in him.

  4. #4
    fhgal
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    Well, it just feels good to have the feeling of being attracted/infatuated with someone, the infatuation feeling being something that is impossible to feel with the person I've been married to for 15 years (although I love him with all my heart and soul)...it's hard to ignore it and put it on a shelf, so I ponder it. I'm not doing anything about it. But sometimes I wonder how I could feel this without there being some underlying vibe thing going on. Anyway, thanks for your input.

  5. #5
    manny_07

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    It's a bit disconcerting that your question isn't more along the lines of "I'm strongly attracted to another man and I'm married, what should I do".

    I have no answer to your question other than, it's called "chemistry". His look, his stance, his attitude, his charm, his way with words, you identify him with Daddy, he's good with his kids, a combination of the above, other stuff.

  6. #6
    Snoopy24
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    Well there will always be people you will have a physical attraction to, but that doesn't mean you should cheat on your husband, or even think of doing so.

    If you are having butterfly feelings with this married man, then there is probably something wrong in YOUR marriage.

    so

    a. try to fix the problems with your husband and get back the butterfly feelings with him.
    b. don't have any more play dates with your children
    c. get a divorce and find a single guy.

    weather or not he is attracted to you is irrelevant. Worry about your own life and family, and let him worry about his.

  7. #7
    Entropy Smith

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    He's a guy. If your good looking sure he was attracted. But he probably went home, took care of business by himself, and went back to being a family man. Thats what most guys who don't cheat do.

  8. #8
    Lucy_lou
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    sometimes we're attracted to people we find attractive. sometimes it's to do with a mutual chemistry, and other times it's one way.

    But you are attracted to him. And that's normal. You never mentioned you had any intention of having an affair, so I won't even go down that path. It's just attraction. Chemistry, as the above poster said. normal normal normal.

  9. #9
    manny_07

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucy_lou [Register to see the link]
    sometimes we're attracted to people we find attractive.
    That's true.

  10. #10
    fhgal
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    Thanks so much for your replies. I will not have an affair. I know it's normal to be attracted to other people every now and then, but it's just so frustrating because it does feel so good to have that infatuation/attraction feeling that you can only have with forbidden fruit or someone new...the only thing that gets me over it is time away from that person. Fortunately, I don't see him that often, but when I do, it really throws me for a loop.

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