Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 17 of 17

Thread: Developing a crush on your therapist...

  1. #11
    Wimpy
    Silver Member Wimpy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Right here.....
    Posts
    337
    Gender
    Female
    Hey I think it's perfectly normal so I wouldn't worry and if you do decide to "confess" it to him then that's your choice.

    In the early days of going to see my therapist I really liked him but realised that in actual fact what goes on in that relationship is like a tiny microcosm of your other relationships and what I most liked about him was the fact that he was "there" for me, supported me, liked me, was non-judgemental and kind - all the things I felt I was missing in my life at that point and at times since. Now I still like him but not in a romantic way at all.

    I was only reading stuff on transference and counter-transference (which I think is when the feelings are coming the other way) the other week and it's all very normal. After all, you share some pretty intimate and personal stuff with this person so somewhere along the line feelings can get mixed up.

    Obviously if he's a proper therapist he will be bound be a strict code of ethics that will prohibit him doing anything improper so nothings going to come of it.

    Personally I'd keep quiet about it and stop looking at him that way (if you can) or try and see what about the situation is familiar to you or reminds you of other interactions.

    Depending on how long you've been going to see him you may, or may not feel comfortable talking to him about it.

    Hope that helps.......

  2. #12
    ghost69
    Platinum Member ghost69's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Desert
    Posts
    33,101
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    4
    i think this happens to people a lot. for pretty much 2 reasons:

    -the therapist listens. cause he/she is so easy to talk to and you can feel they are a great match. too bad it's their job to listen and analyze. the interest is their job

    -they are in a position of authority. their plaques on their wall make you think they are so smart and accomplished.

  3. #13
    mumble
    Bronze Member mumble's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    114
    Gender
    Male
    You're experiencing transferential compulsions.

    Thanks again S. Freud.

    Entertain the idea, but don't act on it.

  4. #14
    comfyshoes
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    standing on the shoulders of giants
    Age
    41
    Posts
    615
    Gender
    Female
    please excuse me for getting the wrong word.
    transference is indeed what i was talking about.
    my brain is not so sharp after a nightshift!

    wait, i was right the first time.
    asked the duty psych at the hospital tonight
    Last edited by comfyshoes; 11-07-2007 at 11:26 PM.

  5. #15
    GoldenRoole
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    New York, NY
    Posts
    43

    Update

    Quote Originally Posted by mumble [Register to see the link]
    You're experiencing transferential compulsions.

    Thanks again S. Freud.

    Entertain the idea, but don't act on it.
    Thanks everyone.

    I had my session with him today. Same interaction, however, this time I managed to ignore his lingering eyes and soft voice and warm, lingering handshake. I actually focused ONLY on what I came there to talk about.

    You know, I'm glad I posted this thread when I did; It seems a lot easier to be able to go into the sessions now knowing that I won't/shouldn't act on any "desires" or crushes, as recommended here. As obvious as it seems now, had my interest been any stronger (or had I been really, really infatuated by now), I dont think our sessions would work because I'd be totally into HIM and not on my healing. Again, quite obvious. ... And had I waited to seek advice here, I'm sure I woulda gotten carried away with this fantasy.

    Coming out of a bad heartbreak, I'm still such a romantic sucker seeking love in all of the wrong directions. *Sigh*

    I wonder if there are any ENA stories (whether successful or unsuccessful)about people whove experienced 'forbidden' therapist-client dating. It'd be so interesting to me.

  6. #16
    Eire1
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    East Coast
    Posts
    630
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    3
    I saw a tv show once where a doctor started to have feelings for a patient and so he immediately referred her to someone else and then started dating her. Not sure if this was just tv or whether an arrangement like this would also be considered inappropriate.

    I guess doctors are people too, and so if they were to meet their soul mate in their office rather than in a bar you'd think there'd be something they could do to not violate any ethics, but pursue her as a love interest.

    Then again therapists are in a unique position since they are talking about intimate things with the patient and their advances could actually harm the patient emotionally depending on their issues/problems. So I certainly can see that a therapist pursuing a patient would be inappropriate.

  7. #17
    May_It_Be
    Gold Member May_It_Be's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Pacific Northwest
    Age
    35
    Posts
    929
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by shes2smart [Register to see the link]
    Yup. That's what it's called.

    link removed
    Very, very much agreed with you guys on this one. Time for a new therapist. If your heterosexual, and I'm assuming you are, then try for one of the same sex. Maybe that will help to avoid this problem in the future.

  8.  

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Top Threads
Love with no sexual attraction?
Hi there, what do you think could be the reasons for a man (I'm referring to the male case since I'm a man and the answer for the women's case is
Ended With a Stringer, But Owes Me $$
Yes, yes, yes, stupid thing to have done. This stringer, who happens to be my Boss, would promise a call, dinner, a kiss, etc. I think the
Would this quiet/Low-key guy like me back?
I'm starting to have a crush on this guy who works in my college as a part-time staff member / student. I wasn't really interested in him but as I
What is she doing?
Feel free to move this, wasn't quite sure what category to put this in. I have a friend, or an acquaintance, rather, who I can't quite read. We're
Girl I used to a have a thing for has gotten back in touch. Is this an IOI?
This is the second time she has done this. Once just before the summer, and once last night. She sends me I just heard you were in (place I go
How Do You Know if He's More Than a Friend?
I'm in a crazy situation. I'm 48, and my guy friend is a very mature 27-year-old. And, I really do mean that he's incredibly mature and
At work - Should I try something?
Hi, I have joined a new place of employment approximately 8 months ago. It's a fairly sizeable company, of approximately 600 people just in my

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Heard my ex-boyfriend having sex
Please please please help me. Tonight I heard my ex boyfriend having sex with another woman and I'm totally gutted and sick inside. Unfortunately
Advice married man
I am 38 yrs old 2 kids ( 8 and 17) I was in a relationship with my ex for 21 years and things ended. Fast forward 6 months I met a wonderful man who
I have an experiment on how to attact
I often hear lately that women and men want the exact same things and are attracted to the exact same things. I don't believe this one bit, so I
My boyfriend said I have nothing to offer?
He told me I have nothing to offer other than sex. He called me a nobody even though I am going to school and have a part time job. What does he mean
What do I do HELP.
Ive dated this girl for just over two years our relationship started off great. We were in love and I could see myself marrying this girl. A few
5 years later with silent treatment
I am 44 yr old woman with someone 6yrs younger. I was taken to an emergency hospital 2 weeks ago with suspected stroke..he left me at the door of
Help... I'm driving myself crazy.
So my ex and I have been broken up for 4 months. We have had no contact in four months. He blocked me on Facebook immediately after the breakup. Last
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •