Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: How to deal with girlfriend's insecurities...

  1. #1
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2006

    How to deal with girlfriend's insecurities...

    I love my girlfriend, she is the nicest person in the world...

    But she is very insecure... Everyone loves her (because she is so nice), but she won't believe this. She seems to analyse whatever people say, or if they don't respond to a text, or look at her the wrong way, and make out that they don't like her or that they are annoyed about something she did, or something or other.

    This is starting to get annoying, because if I say something, she will take it up the wrong way, as an insult. Then when I try to explain myself, she will question the way I phrased it, and say something like, "well you wouldn't have said it that way if that's what you meant", and stuff.

    It gets worse when she is stressed (e.g. studying for exams), and she has this habit of storing up bad thoughts in her mind, which interfere with her study, which increases the stress, which makes the whole thing worse. It sometimes makes her get pissed off about insignificant things too.

    I really want to help, but I find it impossible to reassure her about anything, she tends not to believe any compliments (although partly my fault as I'm not very good at complimenting)... I am not entirely sure she trusts me (though she assures me that she does) and whenever she complains about her problems, although I'm perfectly willing to listen to them, she stops herself and says, "You don't want to hear all of this" and stuff.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Hmm I sound alot like your girlfriend :P I have the same problems.. with insecurity. I know it's really hard on my boyfriend, cuz sometimes when I ask him to be brutally honest, the things he says are so hurtful and make me want to cry. The biggest thing for me is that I understand that I do those things, so I can work on them. The best thing my boyfriend has done is to be there for me, he has increased my confidence and esteem by 10 fold atleast. With compliments, the best thing is to be honest. My boyfriend jokes around alot, and when I get really upset over how someone might feel, he jokes and calls me silly, and he'll point out all the good stuff, and then be like "See, how could they not like that?" ... The only advice I can give you is to stick in there, keep trying..

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Probably every girl is alot like your girlfriend if that's any comfort. You need to understand that even though you don't think your reassurance is doing her any good, and even though she's not hinting that it is, it probably is.

    Tell her that you love her, tell her she's beautiful, tell her why you'd rather be with her then any other girl in the world. Understand that just listening and being their for her helps her more then you probably realise.

  4. #4
    Member Single_Forever_it_Seems's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Well I myself cannot handle compliments very well. I get them sure but I guess I think so little of myself that I'm almost embarrassed and think that they're "just saying that". You need to find a way to express things to your girlfriend in a way that's sincere and special and not just wow you look hot or something. You definitely need to work on the compliments but you know what... try a different approach. Instead of saying baby you're gorgeous or something about appearance, start off by recalling a time in the past that she did something or said something that made YOU feel special or you think about often. Make sure you don't just give her compliments on her looks even if that's what she's insecure about. Remember to compliment her intelligence, her perception, the way she deals with everyday people, how she treats her parents, her pets and most importantly how she makes you feel. I can always handle a compliment from someone who says I make them feel amazing! It's complimenting ME by knowing I make someone else feel great and they realize it and love me for it!

    Best of luck!

Top Threads
Boyfriend is not spending Thanksgiving with me to be with his daugther
I'm 36 years old and my almost a year boyfriend, 54. I don't have any children, he is divorced and have one son of 32 years that lives with his
Weird relationship
I have a truly surreal story to tell. I met a guy 2 years ago. He started courting me. But I was not attracted in the beginning and even was
Fallen for a soon to be divorced Man...too soon?
I've known this guy for around 6 years, he was married to someone who I use worked with. We have always got on, easy to talk to, same sense of humor
Im 20 he's 27. I'm afraid the age gap is too much, especially for my family.
I have been dating my boyfriend for about 5 months now. We've gotten pretty close and we've both discussed giving a long term relationship a shot. We
How Much is Too Much?
I've been with my BF nearly 4 years, in the last year he has been working with a friend that he met appox. a year ago. Recently, she has moved to a
Feel like I'm going nuts -what to do
Ok so it's hard to describe my problems as I'm not sure if it's me being a jealous or that my girlfriend does stuff to make me worry. I'm 41 and
Confused about someone I am dating
I am a Virgo , He is a Libra Man. I've been dating this guy for 3 months now and nobody wants me to date him because of his past and things he has

online counseling
Featured Threads
Need feedback, criticism from the men here *long*
I want to vent cuz this is bugging the hell out of me me even though I should be happy to move on. I want the perspective of men here because I feel
Should I be concernd about my ex's guy being around my son?
I was married to the girl of my dreams for 16 years until she met a guy in a cooking chatroom. The question I have is can I trust this guy with our
Struggling to figure out if she likes me or not?
I really fancy her and I still struggle with all the attraction sign things. I chose to sit at the table that I knew she'd be, because her friend
So having dinner with my ex tonight.
Recap: We dated nearly two years. I dumped him by email -- which was crappy of me, but I don't do conflict well. He was never able to say he loved
2 dates but now a new girl on the scene.
Been a while since I posted here, had a break from dating really, off all OLD and just thought I'd let fate do its thing. about a month ago I got
What are the chances that she could have gotten pregnant?
I met up with an ex from 5 years ago and in the heat of the moment we had unprotected sex. Now here are the facts: - She is 27, I'm 29. - She
Marrying someone with different level of religion understanding
Say, you're an orthodox religious man and your potential spouse has the same religion as you but with much lower level of practice and knowledge

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts