Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Does guy always have to pick up his date on the first few dates?

  1. #1
    crapie
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    61

    Does guy always have to pick up his date on the first few dates?

    Curious about this question. If the two live in one of the cities in the world that has worse traffic jam (i.e., it takes about an hour to get to the girl's place though she lives not that far from his). On their first few dates, is it nescessary that guy pick girl up? Can they just meet at the chosen restaurant? What is the proper arrangement?

  2. #2
    rocio

    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Age
    34
    Posts
    6,599
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    It's probably fine to meet there but make sure you get her home. Walk her to her cab and give the driver enough cash to cover the ride. Or take a cab with her, drop her off at her door, then cab it home. However, if she is going to take a bus or subway, insist on picking her up instead.

    Another option could be to choose a place close to her home or office.

  3. #3
    Kelebek
    Bronze Member Kelebek's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    USA
    Age
    33
    Posts
    247
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    8
    For the first date I'd probably pick her up. You don't want to give the impression on the very first date that something like picking her up for a date is too much of a hassle (even though it is). After that, if you plan to meet again, you can make a better plan of how to meet up. Definitely don't let her take the bus or subway alone at night.

  4. #4
    SinfullySweet
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    502
    I used to always expect guys to pick me up for dates, but I've had some bad things happen in cars... now I won't let guys pick me up until we know each other really well. It really depends on the girl. If you just met the girl she might actually be more comfortable with meeting you somewhere. Either way, make sure she gets home safely.

  5. #5
    Batya33
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    41,028
    Thanked
    1887
    I'm comfortable meeting somewhere but it's nice when the man suggests a place that is more convenient for me than for him. And the man should make sure the woman gets home safely at night - finding her a taxi is fine. One time a man wanted me to meet him on a street corner and then we would choose a restaurant - he had asked me out for the date 10 days in advance and called me with that suggestion about two hours before the date. I was not impressed and told him to pick a restaurant (there are a dozen right in that area - 2-5 block radius) and call me back. he did within a half hour. He then teased me for my not wanting to meet him on a street corner at night. Two weeks later he called and asked if he could take me to the opera that Saturday night. I always wondered about that (i wasn't interested anyway, his lack of manners being only one factor).

  6. #6
    itsallgrand
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    14,085
    Thanked
    1239
    Go by what you know of the woman. Everyone likes courtesy, but some have different ideas of what is 'proper' or not.

    If it's a more traditional girl and she hasn't mentioned anything on her part; guess you are safer being the one to go the full five miles.

    Then, later, you can slack like a mo fo and it won't matter. ha.

    Seriously tho, just make sure she isn't inconvienced to see you. If you made the date, you are responsible for the bulk of the arrangements. Though that doesn't have to mean you must pick her up in a car. Just think of her as much as yourself.

    have fun.

  7. #7
    Tethys
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Golden State
    Posts
    2,177
    I don't think it is bad manners to suggest meeting at the restaurant, esp if you live in a large city where traffic is such a problem. However, as Batya pointed out, it would be nice if you chose a restaurant near her rather than the other way around. You don't want to make it difficult for her to get home or have to walk alone, esp at night. Keep that in mind when choosing a destination.

  8. #8
    crapie
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    61
    Thanks guys!

    Wow, I must give an impression that I was a guy. I am actually a girl. I just browsed through stuff on the net and read your opinions. I am so glad that thing between the guy I referred to and I didn't work out.

    - He never offered to pick me up.
    - He never made sure I got home safely.
    - He chose places that were convenient to him all the time.
    - We usually went dutch on meals, movies, etc (though one time he paid half of my plane ticket on our vacation).
    - He never called to follow-up after a date.
    - He never called when he said he would (though he enjoyed the thrill of long distance, i.e., called a lot when we lived in different countries and loved to fly to meet each other somewhere around the world).
    - He always had to run after our dates or took calls from friends during the dates and then had to run (yet, we had a few dates).

    My goodness, I wish him all the best with his recent marriage!
    Last edited by crapie; 10-22-2007 at 08:48 AM. Reason: Typo!

  9. #9
    bubblyblonde11
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    London. UK
    Age
    43
    Posts
    1,736
    Gender
    Female
    I would say from a female point of view unless i knew the person I would 1) not want them knowing where I lived 2) wouldn't get in a car with them - alll about safety.

    I think it is fair to meet the girl at the place or outside for the first date perhaps second too as a level of trust has to be gained. Just make sure that she gets home safe by a text or call if she is getting a cab, bus, this to me speaks volumes about a mans character.

  10. #10
    ghost69
    Platinum Member ghost69's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Desert
    Posts
    33,101
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    2
    i would meet up in a situation like that. where i am, i usually offer to pick them up.

  11.  

Top Threads
Chronically late girlfriend
Well, where to start... sorry this is a bit of a long post, but hopefully it's quite interesting or entertaining!... My girlfriend is chronically
He wants me to chase him !
Hello all, I have posted about a man I have been interested in and here is another one. : ) Seems very shy and we have gone back and forth
The back n forth guy. Please help!
I have a dilemma that is driving me crazy. I really need some advice badly! Feel like im goin mad as i dont know what to do! Ill try and keep it
Need some advice please!
So I started talking to this guy threw a dating app. We talk everyday since the before the 4 of July. Just asking get to know type questions And
Idk what I see in these men?
So I fell for a guy who was not at same place in life as me. I ignored my instincts of what he lacked (age, maturity level etc) and fell for the
Healing and getting over a crush.
I am in my 40s, divorced last year and have had a really painful crush on a woman I have known for some time that sadly has not been
Depression after sex
Here is the back story: I met this guy on a dating site. We instantly connected and we texted for a few days and met up on the weekend. It really

Featured Threads
Parent and relationships problems
So clearly i need help sooo i will get right into the story.....sorry its so long I am a 25 year old male who is in a relationship with my 19
My boyfriend is trying to date other woman on online dating site.
I really need help. I am so confused. My boyfriend is on online dating site. He said he wants to date other women. We were on and off relationship
My wife left me without having even a talk
Hi everybody, I wonder if this is normal just to leave a marriage of 7 years without having a proper talk before moving on? It happened to me that
Confused about FWB
Last weekend my FWB and I made plans to meet up. He drove down from his place to go to a party with friends, afterwards he was coming to spend the
Everything is just JUMBLED
I have an extremely, EXTREMELY screwed up life. At least from my point of view it is. At least I think I'm the only one that knows my own
Getting over someone to be with them again later?
Long story short, my ex broke up with me after 4 years because he said he was immature and needed to grow up without me and part of that was meeting
Need Advice - it's urgent for me
Hello Everyone, I meesed up my life and I take full responsibilty. I ned advice and what to do to remedy the situation immediately and prevent it
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •