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Thread: What is the use of having children?

  1. #1
    Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll

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    What is the use of having children?

    serious question

    i have been questioned many times by family members when i tell them i dont want kids

    they look at me weird for a moment, and when they ask i tell them this

    - whats the use
    - they cost too much
    - what satisfaction could i get from raising a child
    - they take up too much time
    - they annoy me
    - they want too much

    so someone please tell me what is the use of having children beacuse i have never wanted any, and i get tired of the salty looks like im saying something wrong.

  2. #2
    Kelebek
    Bronze Member Kelebek's Avatar
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    Well...

    From a strictly scientific/evolutionary standpoint, the "use" of having children is the continuation of the species and the continuation of your own genetic data.

    Now I'll leave all of the psycho-social-cultural reasons to rear children for everyone else to explain

    There's nothing wrong with not wanting to have children. There are far too many children who suffer at the hands of unsuitable parents in the world. If you don't want children and find them to be a hassle and annoying, then by all means, please do not have children. And, just because you don't want children of your own doesn't mean that you can't play a role in other children's lives - nieces and nephews, friend's children, etc.

  3. #3
    Lana0120
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    I've never understood it when people say that children annoy them. Sure, some kids can be little brats, but often that's the result of bad parenting. At the end of the day... at one time, we were children, and we weren't annoying... at least, hopefully not at all times anyway. ;-)

    As for satisfaction... you see it in a lot of people with children of all ages. The amazed looks of new parents at how wonderful their bawling bundle of joy is, then later on... the pleasure at their children learning and their achievements in life...

  4. #4
    Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lana0120 [Register to see the link]
    I've never understood it when people say that children annoy them. Sure, some kids can be little brats, but often that's the result of bad parenting. At the end of the day... at one time, we were children, and we weren't annoying... at least, hopefully not at all times anyway. ;-)

    As for satisfaction... you see it in a lot of people with children of all ages. The amazed looks of new parents at how wonderful their bawling bundle of joy is, then later on... the pleasure at their children learning and their achievements in life...
    i do not like children

    just being in their presense puts a rash on my bottom, its annoying and half the time i wish they'd shut up/

  5. #5
    Supa_gurl
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    It's a personal choice. Though I find that my children are very rewarding! Love them to pieces and would never have had it any other way. If you do not like children don't let anyone "force" you to want to.

  6. #6
    Lana0120
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    Yeah... but why? You've never really said why they annoy you. Your argument is something like 'I don't like children because they annoy me... they annoy me, so thereforeeee I don't like them'. Are you telling me, you've never experienced things like a cute little kid asking you some random question, or saying some funny thing that embarrasses the hell out of the parent, which amuses you...

  7. #7
    shes2smart
    Platinum Member shes2smart's Avatar
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    When I was about 15, I came to the conclusion that I wasn't Mommy material.

    When I was in my late 20's, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. One of the things that means is it would be very difficult -- if not impossible -- for me to get pregnant anyway. I surprised the doc who broke this news to me by laughing and thanking him. It wasn't the reaction he was used to getting upon breaking the news to a woman that she's, basically, infertile.

    Like you, I don't fully understand why someone would want to have kids and be a parent. But I realize that some people relish that kind of responsibility and find it rewarding...and that's cool. Those are the people who should be parents.

    I work in a job that is notoriously low-paying, often requires working a lot of weird hours, weekends and holidays, and is also ridiculously unstable. I've been doing this for 25 years and, in spite of all the BS, I still like it. Yet, I know people who thought being a radio DJ would be a neat job, until they found out what the job was really like and ran screaming in the other direction. I couldn't see myself doing anything else.

    If you substituted "being a radio DJ" for "having kids/being a parent," that paragraph would still make sense. We all find different things interesting and rewarding.

    As for your family members giving you the hairy eyeball when you say you don't want kids....they're entitled to have their opinion (even on stuff that's really none of their business)...and you are equally entitled to ignore them. I know about that "family looking at you weird" thing...after all I remained unmarried until the ripe, old age of 38.

  8. #8
    Kiwi_Sweet

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    I'm so sorry you feel this way about a little "you". haha...

    I'm happy you don't think this way and have children...
    *cough*cough (Britney Spears)

  9. #9
    Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll

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    ......................................

  10. #10
    russ978
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll [Register to see the link]
    so someone please tell me what is the use of having children beacuse i have never wanted any, and i get tired of the salty looks like im saying something wrong.
    There's nothing wrong with not wanting to have children. They take up nearly all of your time, change your romantic vacations to family holidays, replace happy hour with playtime/soccer practice/school plays, turn Saturday naked day with your lover into "wake up daddy! its time to watch (childrens cartoon)," they are messy, eventually rebellious, and can often lead people to compromise on their life's dreams. I love the freedom in my life and wouldn't want to give that up in the immediate future so it makes sense that some people would wish to maintain this level of freedom for life.

    Children are also a product of who you are, the thoughts you represent, and can give your life more purpose. You get to experience their first laugh, their first word, and the first time they walk. (Children are like puppies to a certain extent in that they enrich your life because you get to see all of their first experiences, reactions, emotions, and the development of their personality...) You get to be someone's hero, the 'smartest person in the world,' the piggy back giver, and a constant influence in their life. It is the experience to learn something new about yourself, and adventure with epic victories and the occasional downfall.

    I want children, don't have anything against those who don't, and realize that it is a serious decision that changes the entire focus of your life. I think it sounds like a great adventure and look forward to taking that journey!

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