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Thread: my ex is cold and heartless towards me...

  1. #1
    missmebaby
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    my ex is cold and heartless towards me...

    my ex of 9 months broke up with me a month and a half ago. it was kinda sudden because he had been acting so in love with me and talking about getting married just a week or two before he dumped me. he said that i was a really great girl to him and the only one that understood him and my family was great to him but he is not ready at all for commitment or marriage and wants to be single and free. but i didnt act crazy or sad or anything. even though it was hurting i acted like i agreed that we should break up. i think me reacting like that really surprised him and he said a lot of really mean hurtful things to me to make me feel bad and we got into a huge hateful argument. we didnt talk at all for a month.

    i finally texted him one night and he responded back rudely. we texted each other a few more times that night then he told me to leave him alone so he could go to bed. the next morning though he called me and i didnt answer. so i called him the following evening and he was being very rude to me and saying hurtful things just like when we broke up. he was saying that he had forgotten about me and hes trying to get back with his ex girlfriend because shes so much better than me. then he said that me and my family were really good to him but i was just not the kind of girl he usually goes for and it never would of worked. just as i was about to get off the phone with him because he was being so rude to me he started asking me all about what ive been up to, if ive been on any dates, if ive slept with my ex boyfriend, etc. and he said a bunch of things about girls and his ex gf, trying to make me jealous. we ended up talking for 2 hours.


    i havent talked to him for about 2 weeks so i called him tonight. he ignored the call and texted me right away saying "stop calling." i wrote back "stop being a jerk, i called you one time to see how you've been." well i got no response to that.

    i just dont understand why hes treating me like this. when i ask him why he cant give me an explanation...just that theres "no reason to talk to me." we have so many good memories and we seemed to love each other very much, we were going to move in together and he used to talk about how excited he was to buy me a ring and start our life together. i dont understand how he can treat me like this. i never hear about anyone else's ex being so totally heartless and cold. especially when he was so close to my family and they were so good to him. i was very very good to him as well. i was the one who rushed to the emergency room at 7:00 in the morning when he got into a bad car accident. im the one who stayed with him the whole time, helped him pee into a bottle, wiped all the blood off his face, stayed overnight with him, took him home a couple days later to my house where i bathed him, fed him, dressed him, changed his bandages, helped him limp around, rubbed his back so he could sleep at night, and drove him to all his doctor's appointments. his parents were too busy with their jobs to even care about him, but i was with him through it all. thats how our whole relationship went. i was so nice and giving. TOO nice.

    i didnt do anything wrong...i treated him great, no cheating, no lying. i didnt act crazy when we broke up. so WHY is he being so rude and heartless towards me???

  2. #2
    Atticus90
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    Some people get over there ex's by being mean to them.
    I've done it, regret it.

  3. #3
    Mysterygirl
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    he was wrong for acting the way he was acting.

    But he also did the right thing by not answering the phone or returning your pm. You guys are broken up for a reason. You need some time apart no contact

  4. #4
    OOHMY

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    We should all just give up on relationships. If women only dated women, there be a perfect relationship. If men only dated men then there would be conflicts, so men and women date to have that in between. The people who are same sex and date same sex have that knowledge that this realtionship will work out more, because they are more attracted, and smart lol.

  5. #5
    LBP
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    You know, in the days of the Greeks, romantic love was considered to be possible between men only. Or so I've heard, anyway.

    Course, Ancient Greece was rather notorious for its lack of peace, so you may have a point.

  6. #6
    need2bme
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    I will NEVER understand how someone is in love with someone and then a week later isn't.

    It happened to me, as well.

  7. #7
    OOHMY

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    Quote Originally Posted by need2bme [Register to see the link]
    I will NEVER understand how someone is in love with someone and then a week later isn't.

    It happened to me, as well.
    THEY MET SOMEONE ELSE. Its just someone is in denial or not admitting it.

    They meet someone or talk to someone and this light turns on, should I really be with the person I'm with? Starts guessing it, then decides to end it because all that goes on in the mind, they just get over the relationship in an instant.

    Or if someone better comes along, its oh I can have that? Because the "better" person shows interest, they weren't all that into you and then leave you.

  8. #8
    yogurt

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    missmebaby the same thing happened to me and we were going out for 2 years.

    but like what the other person said, i think hes just being mean to you to get over you. thats what i feel like my ex is doing to me.

    you know what i've learnt from all of this? we can't just play the victim and put all the blame on the other person.

    i hear what you're saying about how good you treated him, staying in hospital with him and all that. but no matter how good you've been to him in the end he doesn't owe you anything. those kind acts you gave to him are a gift and you can't demand payment from them.

    I think the whole reason why my gf broke up with me is because i always said <removed by Moderator> like that too, and i always reminded her about how i always flew over to see her and she never flew over to see me. in the end i guesss she broke up with me because she was sick of me always trying to guilt her into loving me.

    but you know if u were so nice to your ex and he isn't giving the same back to you, then you shouldn't try to contact him and just forget about him because he isn't worth your time.

    me and her were talking about marraige and stuff a week before we broke up as well....but i'm so mad at my ex for the way she broke up with me,and i dont care even if it did upset her to break up with me, it was her choice.
    Last edited by avman; 10-21-2007 at 11:01 AM. Reason: Language

  9. #9
    ellestar
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    i just posted my ex story and now i read this and it seems to make sense. he is being mean to you to get you to leave him alone. he broke up with you for whatever reason and does not want to have you around to remind him of that. the best way to get over an ex is to never have to see them again.

    my ex said he wanted to be friends and now he is cold and distant whenever i see him. his behavior is completely different to his words. in essense, his lies. it's sad cause i am ready to take that step towards friendship and he obviously is not.

  10. #10
    missmebaby
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    well i spoke with him on the phone again today. my mom had a small heart attack today (shes gonna be ok) and since he was always close to my family i just wanted to let him know. well i sent him a text that said "mom had a heart attack today." he called me right away and was asking me all about her and he said he might come to see her. i said "yea right you wouldn't." and he said "yea i would, i loved your family. id be coming to see her, not you." we talked for about 45 mins. he was being kinda sarcastic to me and making insulting remarks to me and laughing about it like it was the funniest thing in the world. basically just being very immature and trying to hurt my feelings. he knows that i am kind of talking to an ex boyfriend that i dated right before him and he was being nosy asking me questions about him and whether we were back together and what did my parents think of that, etc.

    then i asked him how he and his ex gf were doing because last time i talked to him he was trying to get back together with her. he was like crazy about her and wanted her back so bad. but this time when i asked him he laughed and said "i canned her." he thought it was so funny that he dumped her. i asked him what happened and he said "it just wasnt the same, i realized i dont like her anymore so i told her it wasnt working out and now she hates me and wont talk to me." then he said hes dating a new girl that he really likes because shes a rich snob and thats the kind of girls he loves. i was the only girl that he dated that wasnt a gorgeous fake looking rich snob....and thats most of the reason why he wasnt attracted to me and didnt want me anymore. kind of sad if you ask me. then he said "im gonna keep f*cking em until i find the right one." and laughed like hes so proud of himself. he disgusts me.

    right before we got off the phone we got onto the issue of why he doesnt want to talk to me anymore and he said because thats how he is with everyone, he cuts them out of his life so he doesnt have to think about them. he said "it might be messed up but it works for me. that way i dont have to think about you anymore. it makes things alot easier." then he said "my girl's calling i gotta go, bye." and that was it. i dont know what to think about what he said. does that mean hes not over me and by not talking to me it helps him to get over me or what??

    i cant understand why he makes these little sarcastic mean remarks to me to hurt me but then wants to know about who im dating and who ive slept with and acts jealous then says he doesnt talk to me because it makes things easier. he really disgusts me with the way he acts now and laughs about the mean messed up things hes done to me and to other girls. its like i dont know him at all. he wasnt like that at all when we were together, or at least i didnt think he was. just like when he said he was gonna keep f*cking girls till he found the right one, and laughed about it. when we were together he was always saying how he was so careful about who he slept with and i was only the 5th one in his 25 years and only one had been a one night stand. its so sad that you never really know somebody and they can totally pretend to be someone else.

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