Candid Post: LDRs and Sex

How do you guys deal with sex when it comes to distance. Being in a committed relationship, not being able to express love sexually and not having that reciprocated to you is not the most pleasant thing in the world.

I want to know how you guys deal with the physical and emotional frustration caused by the lack of sexual intimacy with your partner. Are there any tips or techniques? If seeing each other every once in a while is not an option in your situation, have you thought about other options like web-cams and phone-sex?

phone sex, using webcams, explicit IMs or text messages all help.

it can be awkward and uncomfortable, even is for me even though i've slept with my bf before. i guess for me it's being completely exposed and him not being there to physically be with me and make me feel comfortable and know he wants to be with me and he loves me.

it's not ideal, but it helps get through the time you can't be together. it takes some getting used to, but if you've never done it or one of you, or both, are shy, take it slow and don't rush it.

being sexually free, especially not being able to be physically together, can be difficult, but can also bring you closer together and raise your self confidence.

Hey I feel your pain sister.

Me and my sweetie have a few ways of feeling intimately close even though we're thousands of kms away from each other.

Sometimes when we're playing online scrabble or chess, we'll make a bet that whoever loses has to send raunchy photos of themselves to the winner. This makes the game more interesting, and more sexy, that's for sure!

Also, you can't go past the dirty talk. It gives you a connection and reminds you that you are still desired, and can feel close to your far-away sweetie!

good luck!

i'm with the dirty chat!

it also opens things up for when you can be together physically...good sex and communication are so closely linked, phone sex/web sex is like great practise! - and then you wont be too shy to say what you want in person...

xx

Looking at these posts makes me feel I should do more At the moment we just pose a bit on webcam! I feel my sex drive has decreased since starting the LDR but that's probably a good thing as I am not tempted to cheat. Luckily we get to see each other at least once a month at the moment so can be intimate (depends on money really.)

Sex

Downside of LDR and i miss it. 2 months done only 2 to go

It's great that there is a positive perspective here, that's what I was aiming for. I know it might sound weird, but phone-sex/web-cams can be a fulfilling sexual experience between two people who love and trust each other. It's all they got. There's something so comfortable about not being there but being there at the same time.

What about the guys? We've only heard from the ladies. And yeah, it's a candid post, that's why I warned

i know this post is a little old, but i was wondering if anyone else was having the same problems...

it's been over a month since i've seen my other, and we never used a webcam or sent photos during that time. the other day we started talking about it, and since then he confessed that he doesn't feel any sort of sexual attraction at all anymore. not just to me, but towards anyone, male or female. the "emptiness" he described even made him question his sexuality. and while i'm still partially attracted to him, it's more nostalgia than pure desire anymore.

emotionally, everything is still there for us, in fact the distance has almost made us closer that way, but i think we're both afraid that the loss of physical attraction in general means that we don't love each other.

does this sort of thing happen with a new ldr? or are we really, done?

Your not done. My boy and I just started year two of our LDR *we are at two diffent schools, though he moved, so we are now two hours closer!!!!*. But last year, when we were still adjusting, there were times when I didnt feel attracted to him anymore. One of the hardest things was valentines day... erm, that weekend, I drove up and when I saw him... it was just weird... he didntlook how I thought, or sound how I thought...

But you adjust/work it out. I was honest, and it a joking manner told him "you dont even look like you" so you can let the other know how your feeling without it getting messy...

OMG... tangent.

Anywho, it passes. lol. I just saw him this last weekend... oh boy does it pass XD

My best advice is talk through it, and on the rare chances you see eachother, work at it.

I'm a little late chiming in, but I too feel the pain!

It sucks because Evan doesn't have his own computer, so when we chat online he is either in a library or a cafe - not exactly conducive to explicit chat or images.

We do have the occasional "naughty text" session or phone call, but he is not as comfortable with it as I am.

Like twirlygirl said, I think my sex drive has gone into a bit of hibernation for the time being. I know it is still there (it reminds me periodically) but i am finding the sex-less-ness to be less difficult than at the start.

Sometimes when we're playing online scrabble or chess, we'll make a bet that whoever loses has to send raunchy photos of themselves to the winner. This makes the game more interesting, and more sexy, that's for sure!

Thats a great idea! I'm gonna mention it to my SO next time he's online....

I would love to try all that stuff, but my boyfriend is kind of shy when it comes to sex. I'm the one who's always suggesting we do stuff, and he's just happy to go along for the ride. I have no body image issues, but its weird how you don't want to do stuff if you're not one hundred percent sure he's going to enjoy. Does that make sense?

Of course the best and real thing is the 'physical'. Distance can be limited, yet it can be an advantage.

As you see from my signature ... we were using MSN and typing our love sessions. And after the first meeting we went to voice. Microphone because the long distance was too costly to use the phone.

We both had extended cords (with the computers in the bedroom)and we literally slept with the headphones.

The first time it's difficult but you become accustom to it after a while.