Moments that changed you

For better or for worse. Tell all, get deep- let's talk about life here! lol

After you, angel.

When my eldest daughter was born.

Moment:

My best friend, Kira, was staying with me a lot this summer because her mom was abusive. We slept outside some night, and we looked up at the sky just talking about things. Another one with her... she cut her wrists a lot and arms so one day I stroked the scars and she started crying. Then, one night, we stayed up all night just looking into each other's eyes, trying to show our real selves. She started crying.

Then one night I was the one crying. She told me about how when she was little she hurt herself because her parents hurt her. So one day she actually planned to hang herself as a preteen in her parents' garage. Listening to this, I started crying so hard, and she looked at me shocked, and she said "No one's ever cried over me like that before."

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years before... Elaine, my stepmother was dying from brain cancer and we finally made peace (she had harassed me a lot while healthy), and one moment was when I touched her face with a cool washclothe because she was dehidrated and we were afraid to give her any drink since she was on morphine and might choke. When the washcloth was in front of her, she said, "I want Sarah to do it."

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At a day care camp for little kids leaving from a fieldtrip on a bus (I was a helper), a little beautiful brown skin boy was falling asleep in his seat and almost fell out, so they moved him to mine. He had nowhere to rest his head so he looked uncomfortable. I pulled him close to me and stroked his face, hair, and arms. He held me close and when it was time to get off, he sat up, gave me a hug...pulled back, stared me wide in the eyes, hugged me again longer...then got off.

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After I met all of my boyfriend Dan's friends, I felt really bad about myself because I was quiet all evening. I was silent the way home, pushed him away when we got back to his house, but then started crying because of how insecure I was all the time, how it ruined how everyone saw me. He held me, whispering, "I used to be like that too in high school. I see so much of myself in you. That's why I wanted you to meet my friends, because they're interesting people and I wanted you to experience what I experience even if you are quiet in the beginning like I was...I always want you to cry on me. I want to be your rock forever."

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Ray started exploding on my mom moreso than he's done in a while. She came upstairs to me saying, "I honest to God thought he was going to hit me." I view Ray as bipolar and his explosive behavior childish, so it doesn't affect me anymore. Even my mom standing at the door telling me this did not much affect me, though I did care. None of that stuff gets to anymore like it did when I was a child.

Anyways, I was reading this online project piece called Life After Life by Michelle Phan that I had printed out, and after fulling reading it (it was about near death experiences), for once I was restored in faith and a security in myself came over me about myself and my life I never truly FELT before even though I had prayed before many times, my heart had screamed out to the dream of God many times.

So this propelled me to write Ray a gentle note about his behavior, but also a warning one (I used to do it all the time when I was younger so it felt all right to do), that he should get therapy and consider his actions better. I then walked downstairs, put the note on the kitchen counter, and I noticed he was laying on the couch with the TV and the light on, with no covers. I dared myself to do something he might remember me for after he left (after he so many years has threatened to do)

I walked over in silence as he slept and put a cover over him. This immediately woke him up and he looked at me and asked "what are you doing up?" and I didn't answer, but merely proceeded to shut the television off.

"are you still watching this?" I asked him.

"no. no you can turn it off. was it too loud? sorry."

"Yeah..." and I took the dvd out and shut the screen off, noticed the covers didnt cover his feet so I went and got another blanket to put on him. I noticed his expression was sad. I picked up our heavy beagle, Bingo, and put him in his room then kept walking to go upstairs.

"Thank you..." he said.

"goodnight." I replied.

I had a few major milestones, but what stays in my heart is changing my niece's diapers. She's now a beautiful woman with three fine kids.

blueangel, this is a cool thread and I now

understand your fine motives.

Thanks.

I had a few major milestones, but what stays in my heart is changing my niece's diapers. She's now a beautiful woman with three fine kids.

 

blueangel, this is a cool thread and I now

understand your fine motives.

Thanks.

Somebody rated this topic trash

Guess they dont have too much to tell. I've experienced a lot, and more than what I listed. But if someone has the ignorance to trash this, then I doubt there will be many more replies. As I said, guess some people dont have too much to tell. I do though.

in school i learned the worst about life-all things important are unemotional, u must find one group and if that group discards u, your in trouble, and about cold institutions becuz my school was an innercity one-a bad one.

then my last year i decided to let go all my inhibitions and live and talk like i wanted. i began challening teachers on subjects unashamed in two of my classes, and in others, i came to school dressing WILD. i was sent to the priincipals office one day for my outfit and i told him "school took so many days up of my life i just want to be myself for one of them." and he looked at me like i was high but then let me go back to class as i was, with a warning.

but then i did it again, and got detention.

My visits to Saint Jude Children's Research Hospital have changed my life completely.

Watching my best friend die.

Being dumped by my wife after 25 years.

Burying my father.

Meeting my gf at the airport.

Trash my ass.

Moving out to Wisconsin to start a new life.

Going to a funeral of a friend who I was the last person she saw before she had a heart attack and died.

meeting some friends who have left a lasting impression in my life.

Watching my best friend die.

Being dumped by my wife after 25 years.

Burying my father.

Meeting my gf at the airport.

 

Trash my ass.

Oh...my god. That must hurt a lot, those first three. I watched my stepmom die, and then afterward, doctors put me on an antidepressant wellbutrin to deal with the grief, and instead it gave me nightmares and panic attacks of her haunting me, angry with me. I was hospitalized for the last two weeks of 10th grade (almost a month after I joined enotalone actually)

My father was never dumped- he did all the dumping and a lot with his four marriages. He cheated and so on and today he is very unhappy, lost in his head type of man who says just enough to entertain you... but hates how he spent much of his life, how a lot of things went. And in this attitude, in this loss of will to really live and love anymore except do what he can, he misses out on the moments with me.

In the past few years, I lost a lot of friends. With all the negativity and tension in both my homes, I developed a sort of inconsiderate mean streak for a while and eventually pushed people away even when I at first had good intentions, or overwhelmed them with my life story. One girl started ignoring me and i kept trying to get her to talk to me, and one day, she started screaming in the hallways of my school to me "I hate you! I hate you ! I hate you! I hate you!"

At Elaine's funeral, her little boy Tanner was sitting in the basement playing on a game board with his cousins in a very solumn mood, though he smiled at me when I asked him if he was all right. I saw him rarely after that, but I do send gifts now of which I get no reply in return.

But on a lighter note, hehe I've met my boyfriend Dan at the airport many times because we live in two different states (him- wisconsin, me- pa). It's always a happy moment.

My happiest moments it seems are with Dan because there's so much outpouring affection from each other every time we get to see each other again.

Singing to songs by Alter Bridge always make me feel released. watching this music video for the first time when I was up late and crying was a beautiful moment for me, because eventually, I sang along. Their CD One Day Remains affected me alot, in good ways tho

Reading Elie Wiesel books help me and same with reading the book Man's Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl.

My visits to Saint Jude Children's Research Hospital have changed my life completely.

I want to know more specifically about that, if you dont mind

Sitting with my sister-in-law, also a best of friends, on her bed like a young girls at asleep over the week before she died, talking about life, our loves, making her a rosary of Swarz. crystal to be buried with. The next day, she was too tired to talk so I laid my head on her bed and she hugged me as we both slept. Then I said goodbye, we each knew it would be the last goodbye, I said to her "I'll see you again, you're just getting there first" She died the next week, Christmas day, she was 61 and absolutely beautiful inside and out.

3 months later, I flew to see my other best friend, my mother in law, who was my exs step mom. I didn't get there before she slipped into a coma. Her daughter called for the priest as she started to slip away, I had been praying a 7 decade rosary asking for 2 things, that the pain of losing her be taken from those who loved her so and that God take her gently and peacefully into his arms. When the priest came to the Lord's prayer, he asked all there to join hands and pray out loud. We bowed our heads and joined hands but my left hand was on her daughters knee and my right hand held her. As he was finishing the Lord's Prayer I looked up to see my dear friend staring at me, eyes open and I said with more love than I have ever felt "oh hi, ****", hard to explain why and the feeling I had as I looked up to see her. She took 3 breathes and passed away. Later, everyone was in awe and peaceful, having seen her awake that last moment gave everyone peace. Later her daughters, son and son-in-law all came to me and told me that the moment she opened her eyes each one felt a warmth, almost a electric tingle through each hand and starting with my left hand on her daughters knee.

The best of all, when my daughter was born

The next best, when my daughter's daughter was born, my daughter was sending everyone out of the room but her husband, I got up to leave and she said no, I asked don't you want me to go and she said "I want my mommy to be here"

So many more, and yes this is a good thread, I am lucky to have my life

That was beautiful. I'm really happy you shared that. The second one gave me hope, it touched me spiritually, comforted me mostly. Thank you. Share as many as you want, really. I'm sure there's still more for me to tell. I think you might like this website: link removed

wow

it is fun leanrng about ppls lives

i hope more reply, i really do. everyone needs to cnnect this way in life!

getting married

Having children

those are biggies of course and they really are, and were for me, pretty life altering....

But one from way back that stands out it my mind....

When we were kids, my siblings and I, my mother was a pretty abusive person. Physically and mentally. But I'll never forget the day one of my older sisters was old enough to stand up to her and fight back.

Put things in real perspective for a young little me. That was the day I realised my mother was a PERSON and not a monster to be afraid of.

And my sister became my hero.

Good points.

Katherine sounds cool.

In my case it was my dad kicking my ass.

I was humbled in 2.5 seconds.

Losing someone who I thought would love me forever...

Seeing my best friend die of cancer....

Realizing I'm truly alone..

Sandyv, that's true.

When you finally realize you are truly alone, that's a milestone.

Yes Ren, it's just so painful...

And its like when we realize this... we kinda have to start from scratch..

Not an easy thing to do...

Yes Ren, it's just so painful...

 

And its like when we realize this... we kinda have to start from scratch..

 

Not an easy thing to do...

Other people exist in the world for a reason. We're here to reach out and love each other.

This site is one of those mediums.

Im sorry you feel alone. The internet is somewhat comforting though, isn't it? some of it. *hug*

Sandy,

I think in every stage of life, we somewhat feel alone. We come and leave that way, but we get to love what we can and who we can on the journey. And I believe we'll see everyone again on the other side, laughing about how ridicolous this journey all was. But it was meant to evolve our souls, make us into understanding beings. If we dont use it for that, what can we use it for?

My favorite lyrics to a song are these simple ones song by John Mayor, called Wheel... life has been called this, rollercoster, and more. And it really is. We have to accept it if we're going to make anything of it, ya know? *joins Lanana in a hug with ya!*

"People have the right to fly

And will when it gets compromised

Their hearts say "Move along"

Their minds say "Gotcha heart"

Let's move it along

And airports, see it all the time

Where someone's last goodbye

Blends in with someone's sigh

Cause someone's coming home

In hand, a single rose

That's the way this wheel keeps working now

That's the way this wheel keeps working now

And I won't be the last

No I won't be the last, to love her

You can't build a house of leaves

And live like it's an evergreen

It's just a season thing

It's just this thing that seasons do

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now

That's the way this wheel keeps working now

And you won't be the first

No you won't be the first, to love me

You can find me, if you ever want to give

I'll be around the bend

I'll be around the bend

I'll be around, I'll be around

And if you never stop when you wave goodbye

You just might find if you give it time

You will wave hello again

You just might wave hello again

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now

That's the way this wheel keeps working now

You can't love too much, one part of it(repeat)

I believe that my life's gonna see

The love I give return to me

I believe that my life's gonna see yeah

The love I give return to me.

I believe that my life's gonna see the love I give

Return to me..."

Getting my first guinea pig, Goldie. She was a long-haired piggie that always needed a butt trim. She was a scared little thing that hid in the pigloo always. From the first time I got guinea pigs, I knew I was smitten. I've had guinea pigs since then and that was 11 years ago.

Getting my first guinea pig, Goldie. She was a long-haired piggie that always needed a butt trim. She was a scared little thing that hid in the pigloo always. From the first time I got guinea pigs, I knew I was smitten. I've had guinea pigs since then and that was 11 years ago.

I always wanted a guinea pig

Thanks Blueangel, that was a beautiful response and post!

Sandy