Small Penis- a question for the men...

To make things clear, I'm a woman/19/in uni. Okay, now this may sound very strange to some people but i hate large penises. Always have and always will. I'm a very petite type girl barely 5 foot and I weight 93lbs. Thus large (7 inches or more hurt me) and even 6 inchers make me feel uncomfortable at times. Am I really the only one w/ this preference? I always hear people saying how much they want a guy with a big one and does anyone think I'm weird?? I also think small ones look way cuter/ sexier- I'm talking area of 4.2 inches to about 5.5 small. Basically small end of average I suppose.

So getting past all that, what do I do with the guys who do have small penises and feel very uncomfortable about it and self conscious about it. They don't believe me when I say i like it. Howthe hell am I supposed to convince them that, no, for the 235626xth time I'm not lying to make them feel better-*sigh*. My current bf has been a complete pain about this, he's 4.6 when erect, and always stops any advances from me, blushing and protesting that it's too small. How do I let him know it's just perfect for me???

I understand where you are coming from. I think girth is a positive factor, but if a guy is 'large' I just get hurt. I have a low cervix and no desire to get it bruised. My man is 'below average' in length and I couldn't be happier about it.

1. 4.6 is not small. Tell him what he sees in the porn he watches does not represent reality.

2. This is like telling some woman they are not fat. No matter how much you say it, they still want to hear you tell them they are not fat over and over. Basically, tell him to cut the crap or your going to dump him! It is what it is, it's not going to grow by complaining, so he needs to get over it. When you guys are together, make sure you do some dirty talking about how good he is and how good it feels, but avoid saying things like "your so big" because that will just get him thinking about his size again. I think once you guys have been together enough he will realize that he's just fine.

Tell him you aren't one of those women with a blimp hangar down there.

Honestly, penises (penii?) are visible, but vaginas aren't. Women don't compare their internal dimensions but it has a big bearing on the matter.

He's an average guy who should count his blessing.

blimp hangar down there.

 

Thats almost funnier than "Wizard Sleeve"!

Thanks you guys for replying so quickly, I really appreciate it.

seashoremaine, I said "small" because from what I understand 5-6 is average. From what I know, his hangups with it come from inconsiderate gf's in the past. It didn't come to mind that he might have been comparing himself to men in porn videos, so thanks for bringing that up seashore.

Dako, it is penii but I didn't want to confuse anyone just in case they didn't know, lol.

All you can do is show him that you like what he has. What other proof do you have?

Other than that, he needs to get over his own insecurity.

creaminthecoffee me on the porn thing. He may have had mean GFs who said he was small, but he got his "proof" by looking at porn. I think I'm average and the only time I have felt "small" was by watching porn, but comparing yourself to "actors" is like saying I must be ugly because I don't look like Brad Pitt. It's not a realistic comparison.

LOL! Yea and then penii? Good one..

Ha, thats exactly what I thought. Gotta love Dako's one liners.

"Ok hello folks. Let me introduce myself. I'm 17 years old, 18 in a few months. I'm a guy, with a 4.5 inch penis. I'm kind of in the "gray zone". Not big enough to be useful for sex, but not small enough to get any sympathy.

Most guys dream of having a huge 9 inch penis. Me? I have dreams of having an averaged size 5.5 inch penis. I would give up everything I have to just have a normal size, and then I would be satisfied. According to various charts I have looked up, I'm smaller than the average size for a 12 year old male child (4.7 inches).

I'm amazed at all the shallow remarks by the various women in this thread encouraging the first poster to dump her boyfriend because he can't satisfy her sexually. It just goes to show how shallow women are. But is that really surprising? After all, in a marriage who gets the wedding ring? Who gets the flowers or candy on the anniversary? Women are very materialistic. I wish I was gay, really. But no, of course with my luck I was born a straight male with a penis that is useless for everything but peeing.

Life sucks with a small penis. "Large men" don't know how good they have it. And women don't know how good they have it either, considering they don't have to worry about size at all. Yeah, they have to worry about breast size, but still, a woman with small breasts can still have sex. A man with a small penis can't.

I have been with a girl before. When she saw me, she laughed and said "forget it". I have a feeling I am destined to be a virgin my whole life, unless I can scrape together enough money to buy some hookers. Yeah, hookers. I have always been a pretty religious guy and very honest about everything, but you know what? Screw it. It's not my fault I was born with a small penis. I'm going to go out, buy tons of hookers, and not care if I go to hell and not care if I get STDs and die from them. I already have weak kidneys thanks to contracting lyme disease when I was younger, so getting one STD such as Hepatitis would = instant death for me."

A quote from 4inchfury from another thread- the "he has a small penis, and I feel like a jerk" thread. See, I know there are a lot of {Mod Edit} girls out there who would say stuff like that. I hope my bf realizes I like it, and i'm going to try to use everyone's suggestions, Ijust hope he doesn't feel near as bad as 4inchfury does

I never knew guys had it this bad with insecurity issues and stuff till I met my bf and came to this site. I guess I always figured only girls had issues with their bodies(breasts,weigh, hair, etc...)

4inchfury has a real problem, and it's not his dangly bits.

Some woman hurt him and he won't let go.

On the other hand, your guy has a supportive woman.

Hey there,

Were you there for the thread I posted over the weekend? I posted about my ex, who had (well, has, still, to my knowledge) a HUGE member and I went out of my way to praise it and laud it's incredibly impressive dimensions. I thought visually it was quite a bit like seeing one of those ancient lingam temples of worship to the phallus, so there was something very magnificent about it -- but physically, it hurt me. He had totally downplayed his size in letters he wrote me before we met (not that it was a frequent topic of conversation), telling me had an "LBJ." (Little Bitty Johnson.) I thought to myself, "Yay! Something I can physically handle!" and was so happy I wouldn't have to worry about the rawness and pain I often get with sex. So I was NOT prepared when he first dropped his pants for the Dirk Diggler organ he was toting. My first reaction: !!!! HELP!!! I tried not to let this shock and intimidation show on my face!

It took a lot of getting used to, and at first I was scared about spending my life with someone whose penis hurt a lot. I thought I was a freak (not unusual for me) of a woman to think this, but since I knew he wanted so much to plese as a lover and also felt that he was blessed among men to have what other men wanted, I complimented him to no end. I sincerely meant that he was regal and beautiful, and it made him seem sort of hypermasculine aesthetically, but as far as function, I could have used something smaller because of the pain issue.

Anyway, the thrust of my thread (geez, sorry, bad pun) was that I tried to measure him once, feeling mischievous and playful, and it became amply clear that he did NOT want that kind of attention or fun to proceed. I was puzzled and also a little disappointed because I was curious to see what my body had actually been capable of accomodating, as well as being able to kind of make him feel like he had won a prize of some sort. It was kind of a celebratory thing in my mind, but he pushed me away saying he didn't want to be measured and hadn't ever bothered in his life. I thought this was very strange, given all the pride men have over their large penises (other men I know, and in the culture-at-large), so I thought he'd enjoy my fanfare. Well, I came here over the weekend to ask everyone why he would have reacted that way, and what I got was that men who have been told that again and again start to feel objectified and that it doesn't feel favorable anymore because it just makes them feel like "a piece of meat". (Which I can empathize with, but I DID ask my bf is he felt that way at the time to understand him and he denied this. He didn't actually give me a lucid answer, but evaded my gentle inquiring.)

What I got at the end of that thread was that men with big ones get self-conscious too, and "the grass is always greener." Maybe they are glad they have a big penis, but it doesn't all add up to total confidence. Obviously, he was self conscious about it, to some significant degree.

So OP, you have my permission to tell your bf that being confident is a state of mind, not of penis!! The guys who "have it all" have another reason to feel some sort of bad attention has been drawn to them! At the end of the day, it didn't make sex better for me and nor did it make him feel more appreciated that I praised his beautiful, big penis, so then -- I guess it didn't make for "more" of anything, really.

I am glad for your thread, it makes me feel I wasn't just a freak all my life to think that I'd have some trouble with a more endowed man. So. That makes 2 of us.

One more thing, I was with a guy who was your guy's dimensions before this last ex. This relatioship (and the sex, too) were in ways better. But he started out not believing me either. It comes with inexperience and younger age, I think -- when a man doesn't know his own manliness yet is not a matter of size. He learns that in time by being a good lover. One thing that I love to do is tell my lover how beautiful they are (and I always mean it, I adore them when my heart is so full!), and so my compliments were graciously though awkwardly received by this guy and guess what? After a while he started to believe me, because he could see how well I responded to him. You should just go over there and kiss his hands and his arms up and down when he blushes, and then gently pull them aside, and just keep kissing and telling him how great it all is. Make him feel he is irresistible. Then when you get there, say, "Why would I want ANYTHING other than this? Your size with mine, we will be like a hand in a glove, oh my god! How perfect!"

You should also tell him about the pain factor, that is something very convincing.

Ah yes, I did see that thread. I actually found it quite interesting- "the grass is always greener"- it makes me think of the small boobs vs. big boobs thing. And no, tiredofvampires, you are in no way a freak- I sincerely think there are more of us like this, they must just be hiding somewhere XD.

LESSON OF THE DAY FOR MEN WITH 4-5 INCH PENISES:

If a woman says, "forget it", laughs, is derogatory about your penis size in any way, consider her screened out as being not worth going through sex with. She has an STD of another sort: "Shallow Tawdry Disorder." Do not have sex with someone with this affliction, as it is symptomatic of a worse problem.

AND, it proves she has little sexual experience, too. Your size will make any healthy woman happy.

Do you really think 1 inch of flesh is going to determine your being alone the rest of your life? Think about how absurd that is, my friend. You have NOTHING to worry about. Except taking to heart callous and stupid comments of the ignorant, so don't take them on yourself.

I think there are probably more women that want an average sized penis vs women who are looking for a monster penis. The thing is that the size queens are usually more vocal about their preferences.

Yea, that is probably about right JoeWho. I just wish more guys wre aware of that fact.

I think also some women might think it's a "badge" of some sort, that makes them feel "more sexual" or appear more sexual, to need/want more. Just a thought.

LESSON OF THE DAY FOR MEN WITH 4-5 INCH PENISES:

 

If a woman says, "forget it", laughs, is derogatory about your penis size in any way, consider her screened out as being not worth going through sex with. She has an STD of another sort: "Shallow Tawdry Disorder." Do not have sex with someone with this affliction, as it is symptomatic of a worse problem.

 

AND, it proves she has little sexual experience, too. Your size will make any healthy woman happy.

 

Do you really think 1 inch of flesh is going to determine your being alone the rest of your life? Think about how absurd that is, my friend. You have NOTHING to worry about. Except taking to heart callous and stupid comments of the ignorant, so don't take them on yourself.

Well, maybe Dako is right? i'm 4.5" and i've been celibate for the last eight years of my life. I'm full of frustration, bitterness and hatred at times - maybe its just a coincidence with fury? maybe we both have other issues?

Nice post btw vampire, but even you said 'Why didn't your ex feel superior to other men, when walking down the street' Thats exactly it. Power dynamics, self effacy, mastery in the sexual domain. He's big and you expected hm to have high self esteem and confidence purely based on his {Mod Edit} size? what happens when a male is then small? he walks down the street feeling the reversal.

Also, look at relationships you have the agape, phillia friendship side and then the eros aspect. I feel that at the friendship size i'm good, i've tried my best at the ero size and i was upto the job with many women and they held it against me. So, i'm only half adequate in relationships. Women have a plurality of qualities, that are of equal value. It seemed penis size is the only one men are really valued for..

Many times you hear the comment 'i'm dating a new guy, he's fantasic, he's sooo well hung'. Back on the topic I think this girl, can turn her bf around well, its just going to take alot of trust and time. Will he believe ONE girl telling him it doesn't matter or the whole culture? of course, at first he's going to think she's lying to him. Is she different to the majority, which seems like 98% of women that prefer larger? I've rarely seen women stating them prefer a small man and fantastic. aha how absurd that comment would seem 'i'm dating a new bf, he's sooo small. errr {Mod Edit}.....

Hey Carl5000,

That really sucks for you, I agree. I just can't believe that "frustration,bitterness, and hatred" can be caused by penis size- just as the opposite content, happiness, and self love (??) will come automatically if you're really big down there. I mean, just look at what tiredofvampires said about her well-hung guy.

As a matter of curiosity, Carl when you say you're "up to the job" do you mean you're turned down just as they're about to do it from you, or they break up with you after already having done it stating they're "not satisfied" or something like that?

Anyways, yea I know most girls would generally prefer larger ones, but thats taking into account the whole population. I know asian girls and girls who are just generally very skinny/ very small body frames dont always want their mate to be hung like a horse.

Hey Carl, I want to answer a number of points you made, which I highlighted in bold here. I will try to go in order, but may skip around a bit.

First of all, I'd agree with the statement that a man who finds himself celibate (not by choice) and filled with anger and hatred, and is suffering with extremely low self-esteem about the size of his genitals DOES have some deeper issues going on. To illustrate, the man I was with before my well-hung ex had what many consider a "double-whammy" for a man's sense of "he-man-ness": he was short AND had a 4.5 inch penis. He stood at 5'4" and I, at 5'6", so he was shorter than me (though with a solid body frame, so it compensated a bit.) He was extremely inexperienced for someone his age (early 30's) when we started going out, and though he hadn't been told nasty and rude things by women, he was brainwashed enough by the hype to think that he didn't measure up between the legs. Well, as I referred to him in another post, he eventually got over this self-consciousness during our relationship and I feel he no longer even has this hang-up about his size (he was with a woman after me who also didn't prefer large ones.) The bottom line though is, he was and is not CRIPPLED emotionally about this. He still valued himself and was and is an upbeat person with a lot of natural self-confidence. He was a bit shy at first in this area, but it's not like he rested his whole sense of manly value upon it. Once I made my desires and appreciation known (I expressed as much appreciation for his as for the well-endowed one!), he started to realize that it wasn't an issue for me, so why should it be for him. It's exactly like large breasts -- more is not better for MOST men, it is the person that has the breasts that matters, and for only a few men does this really make a difference. Perhaps some men like them big, but no mature man in his right mind who wants a significant relationship will add in breast size anywhere in the tally of "things I dream of for my soulmate." I would not list penis size anywhere in my list of qualities I want my partner to possess (except that I would probably prefer not to have someone as big as the last because it hurt me and I don't want a life of sometimes painful sex. Though it's still not a dealbreaker, love is not about organ proportions and there is always a creative way to work around things like this.) But back to my point, the short man with the short peter actually was and is quite a stable, basically happy-with-himself person who is emotionally healthy. I didn't make him this way, he just was this way, even when I first met him. I did not bring him self-esteem, nor did the matter of his penis. By contrast, the man who is my recent ex is not emotionally healthy, very insecure of a person, moody and in ways he did some dastardly things to poison our relationship which in the end made the closeness of sex feel contaminated. And despite his penis size, at 42 he could not hold down a relationship past about a year or so. Which guy do you think has it better? Who do you think has more "other issues" going on? Whose penis do you think wins out at the end of the day?

If penis size was the be-all-end-all you are cracking it up to be, the panacea of self-esteem, then this guy (my ex) should've been standing at the top of the world.

As for my statement about my ex feeling "superior to other men walking down the street", I never used the word "superior". I can see where you are misunderstanding me, so let me try to clarify. I said a number of things to him like, in a jokey way, "Don't you just feel like you've got the BEST STUFF walking down the street?" and meant that in a sort of "You know you're hot stuff" way, but not to detract from other fellas. I wasn't making a statement about their inferiority; I was making a statement that he was a fine specimen and wondered aloud if he ever felt that while out there casually, felt proud of his "secret." It was more about boosting his confidence than making a statement that anyone else lacked anything, because that is certainly NOT my position. I was simply saying, you have what some guys would really love to have -- which is true, right? -- but the nature of that statment was to praise him, not diminish anyone else. I think I can compliment him in this department without it being at someone else's expense. So NO -- I don't and didn't expect anyone to feel self-esteem or self-confidence based on his size. That would be very unfortunate from a mental health standpoint. I don't think that anyone should base their self-esteem and worth on anything physical, actually -- though that is so much easier said than done, and I have my own vanities, for sure. But I think that people who have good self-esteem do not rest it on these things. After all, we all age and our bodies change anyway, so our physical bodies are merely a vessel for our spirits and psyches, and that is where your attitude about life really matters in terms of holding down a relationship.

So for your "adequacy" issues in your relationship, if you are obsessed about your equipment, my feeling is that your penis is the scapegoat for other problems you are having. Focus on them and leave the innocent penis alone! I'm not sure how you can have a good concept of relatioships though if the people/women you've been with have given you the impression that size is "all that men are valued for". And all these women emphasize in announcing their new partners is how "hung" he is. I personally have not heard the comment, "I'm dating this new guy, he's fantastic and he's so well hung." If they did, they would be a gf I don't have much in common with as conversational style goes, I can tell you that!! I don't talk to people who talk like that, to tell you the truth.

So it seems Carl that you need a social makeover, to start with. "The culture" has some merciless reps in it, but you can pick and choose. The people who are a mouthpiece for porn stats (for boobs or male members or whatever else that fake industry has loaded onto our consciousness) are not people you should be gathering your information from. (As a matter of fact, it's also true that I saw an interview with a porn start who said she refuses to do shoots/sets with guys who are hugely endowed, and in her personal life prefers smaller, or average. So even there, you see there is so much stereotyping people can't see straght anymore.)

And along with the social makeover, start to really dig deep into what is at the root of your unhappiness with yourself, and feelings of frustration and unviability in relatioships. Maybe get counseling to help facilitate this, it's nothing to be ashamed of. But I do believe that it's so easy to blame everything on a part of one's body -- and ALL the people who are much more flawed but with fantastic relationships prove that there is a missing piece of the puzzle here.