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Thread: "You deserve better than me."

  1. #1
    escritoramel
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    "You deserve better than me."

    ..........
    Last edited by escritoramel; 04-08-2008 at 11:26 AM.

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    papalazarou
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    Quote Originally Posted by escritoramel [Register to see the link]
    I was talking to someone at work yesterday, and it turns out we both got the same speech: that we "deserve better." What does it really mean when a guy says this? That he can't commit?

    That just seems too simple, like a cop-out.

    Thoughts?
    Put simply yes.

    Us blokes are quite simple at heart and thats exactly what he means.

    Its the mans version of the womens "I need space" meaning they are questioning the relationship without communicating.

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    Shadows Light
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    hmmmmm... the first thing that come's to mind is a song that is currently on the top 40...

    "Better Than Me"

    I think you can do much better than me
    After all the lies that I made you believe
    Guilt kicks in and I start to see
    The edge of the bed
    Where your nightgown used to be
    I told myself I won't miss you
    But I remember
    What it feels like beside you
    I really miss your hair in my face
    And the way your innocence tastes
    And I think you should know this
    You deserve much better than me

    While looking through your old box of notes
    I found those pictures I took
    That you were looking for
    If there's one memory I don't want to lose
    That time at the mall
    You and me in the dressing room
    I told myself I won't miss you
    But I remember
    What it feels like beside you
    I really miss your hair in my face
    And the way your innocence tastes
    And I think you should know this
    You deserve much better than me

    The bed I'm lying in is getting colder
    Wish I never would've said it's over
    And I can't pretend... I won't think about you when I'm older
    Cause we never really had our closure
    This can't be the end
    I really miss your hair in my face
    And the way your innocence tastes
    And I think you should know this
    You deserve much better than me
    I really miss your hair in my face
    And the way your innocence tastes
    And I think you should know this
    You deserve much better than me
    (And I think you should know this)
    (You deserve much better than me)






    When you hear...."You deserve better than me" is this someone being NOBLE and stepping away? or a cop out?

    Depends on the person delivering the speach. I recently walked away from someone, not because they deserve "BETTER" than me... I am the best. But he deserved younger than me. He deserved to get married for the first time and have his own kids. I've got a decade on him and I've had my children. So I'm not necesarrily sending him out for "Better" than me... I guess I wouldn't want regrets later on his part. I think he got it. He didn't ask why.... but had he asked... I would have gladly expounded on my reasons.

  4. #4
    Benjyh
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    my ex cheated on me then broke up with me and told me i deserved better! oh really ya think?

    its a cop out in my opinion

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    Bunney
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    I think my boyfriend deserves better than me. He's perfect in every way, while I am a pain in the neck sometimes! He deserves someone as perfect as he is. But that's my opinion, not his, and I'm happy that way.

  6. #6
    Butterfly~Wrists
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    My ExEx and i always say to eachother that tthe other deserves better..
    we're both really insecure though =[
    but for us, it really does me, "you deserve better then me"

  7. #7
    miamimami1969
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    I was told the exact same thing by the ex. He said "you deserve better than me. I cant give you what you want, kids, etc. I am a loser, I will never amount to anything, I am nothing. Im not ready for that", etc. My questions is this - "then why were we looking for an apt together over a year ago, why did you say you couldnt wait to live with me and spend the rest of your life with me and have kids, etc now all of a sudden you cant give me what I want". My answer to him was "yes you can, you just dont want to".

    This kind of stuff that's said to us really makes us think. It makes us question ourselves - "Are we not good enough", "whats wrong with us" - "do they really want these things, but with someone else". How do we know that in their mind they dont think that they can do better than us and they just turn it around and say it to us. Its very hurtful and deceitful and thats what gets me the most. Thats why i think im having a really hard time getting over him, because I know hes totally moved on after only 2 months of being apart and who knows if he's with someone else, but they will never be able to fill my shoes - you best believe that!

  8. #8
    itsallgrand
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    Bah! I tend to think it's a cowardly way. It insulates from criticism.

    Can't be harsh on someone who beats ya to the punch, right? That'd just be mean. lol.

    It means they are moving on without you. And don't know how to break it to you in a way that expresses self responsibility and choice.

    Good riddance.

  9. #9
    violingirl
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    It's definitely a cop-out, or a way to let you down "easily," in their minds. A couple of times during our relationship, my (now ex) boyfriend told me that I deserve better than him and couldn't fathom what I saw in him. Of course, I reassured him that he was so great, generous, etc. (and he really was at that time).

    Then, after 19 months, he dumped me, saying that he couldn't give me what I wanted (commitment) and that I deserved to find someone who could, and that he had to work on his issues and be alone. I later found out that he "couldn't give me what I wanted" because he left me for another woman (and he is a commitmentphobe). So, cop-out is my conclusion.

  10. #10
    LFG
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    Escritoramel -

    Of course it's a coward excuse!!! The problem with some people is that they don't realize that the people they are delivering the message to have a brain between their ears.

    I'm all for always saying the truth, no matter how much it hurts. It is very selfish and coward to leave people obsessing about the true reasons of a break up. Be gentle but honest. In break ups, omitting and lying are the same thing.

    LFG

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