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Thread: A girl I like but lives in another state...

  1. #1
    Aaron20b

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    A girl I like but lives in another state...

    I was on this dating site. This girl who I found fairly cute messaged me saying she found me very attractive and cute and all and wanted to chat with me. She said she lives in Florida but she said she was going to move to California(Where I live) So I figured, shoot if she is going to come over here, I should get to know her.

    Eventually we exchanged emails and starting talking on msn. She said she wanted to become a model. I would show you a picture of her but I think that would be going against the rules here. So yeah. She is gothic. but cute :P


    She said she wanted to become a singer or a model. I found that a bit strange. I mean, she is setting her goals way to high. She said she'd move to California after she had put some weight off or whatever. Me and her flirted and I told her once she gets to California I'd take her out and show her all the cool spots in California

    So now, Its been a few weeks since I talked to her and from time to time I got an email from her saying something about some sick guy trying to get with her or how she met some guy but turned out to be a freak or whatever. I guess I understand her trying to see other guys because it would be absurd if she waited for some guy she never met that lives really far.

    This is me and her's last convo on myspace, which was yesterday. I will change her name for privacy sake. So she will be named " I am the gothic girl" here. Start from the bottom and read your way up. After your done. there is more text under it :P


    From: Im the gothic girl

    lol i'll try my best bug bug bug lol i'm about to get off in 30 i have to go to the dr tomorrow
    ----------------- Original Message -----------------
    From: Aaron
    Date: Aug 21, 2007 5:54 PM


    Yeah. So. bug me when you get on alright? later

    ----------------- Original Message -----------------
    From: Im the gothic girl
    Date: Aug 21, 2007 7:23 PM


    nah im not dating a girl right now i like a girl but no not yet and i missed you too its been so boring well im gonna keep it short i will talk to you later

    ----------------- Original Message -----------------
    From: Aaron
    Date: Aug 21, 2007 2:54 PM


    So your dating this girl now? I see.....

    I've been ok. Miss talking to you. Wish you'd come here so we can go out

    ----------------- Original Message -----------------
    From: Im the gothic girl
    Date: Aug 21, 2007 6:04 PM


    hey whats up not much here just dealing with this freaking sick guy he wants me to date him and for him and i to date another girl as well first off i'm too woman enough for him to handle second he must be freaking nuts if he thinks some girl is gonna pick him over me lmao but anyways how have you been i've been bored i hope to talk to you soon





    I feel a tad hurt now because I went to her profile and it says she is now in a relationship. but aw well, I didn't put to much emotion into it yet and haven't gotten myself attached that much but still. Why would she contact me? Why would she message a guy that lives so far away from her? o_0

    and have any of you people had an experience like this?

  2. #2
    Aaron20b

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    I just send her an email asking what she been up to. she just said

    "not much i was dating this guy matt me and him had a fight and i was mad at him and we broke up well i got really depressed for those days we were apart and tonight i learned how much i really care about him so i'm going back out with him again how about you"

    This Matt guy lives in Wishington...Im just confused

  3. #3
    Yates33
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    You can't read too much into this. It's just a random girl that you knew about over MYSPACE. Forget about it. However, for future reference, your conversational skills with girls "online" is horrible. It was boring, un-attractive and pleading for attention. You have to spice it up man!

    Next time, get the number as soon as possible. Talk to her, ask her out. In this case you couldn't, that's why when dealing online, I stay away from girls who live far.

  4. #4
    Yates33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Evilken24 [Register to see the link]
    I just send her an email asking what she been up to. she just said

    "not much i was dating this guy matt me and him had a fight and i was mad at him and we broke up well i got really depressed for those days we were apart and tonight i learned how much i really care about him so i'm going back out with him again how about you"

    This Matt guy lives in Wishington...Im just confused
    how old are you?

  5. #5
    Aaron20b

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    Im 21. I never approach girls online that live really far. but she said came to me saying she will move to California for her modeling or whatever. so I thought I can see her eventually anyway and I thought I take the time now to get to know her. But yeah, seems she found someone else...I just told her the guy was lucky and said "see you around" I don't think Im going to talk to her much anymore lol. Aw well. :P

  6. #6
    Yates33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Evilken24 [Register to see the link]
    Im 21. I never approach girls online that live really far. but she said came to me saying she will move to California for her modeling or whatever. so I thought I can see her eventually anyway and I thought I take the time now to get to know her. But yeah, seems she found someone else...I just told her the guy was lucky and said "see you around" I don't think Im going to talk to her much anymore lol. Aw well. :P
    For future reference, here are some basic guidelines when dealing with women over the net that I posted on another thread a couple of days ago. They come from experience dealing with online women.

    Also...lay off the a**kissing compliments to girls...please, it just makes you boring dude...."oh..he's a lucky guy"...think about how many guys tell her that? BE DIFFERENT...BE EXCITING! Anyway, here are the guidelines.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------

    First, don't get all your expectations up. If this doesn't work out, the feeling afterwards sucks. Trust me, just hope for the best and expect the worst.

    Second, next time you talk to her, if the conversation is flowing nicely tell her "I wonder if your this interesting LIVE, why don't we exchange numbers and find out....unless your scared " ... hehe...this usually works for me, but do it at a point when the conversation is going very well...at its peak point. Don't get stuck just talking to her online.

    Third, after your on the phone with her, don't let the conversation pass 30 minutes MAX and 15 minutes minimum. Try to get a feel for her personality a bit more over the phone, keep topics light and fun. Don't tell her your past baggage or stuff like that, like dont go into how you never had a girlfriend...thats not important. Keep the conversation fun, don't let her think seriously. Know what I mean? Keep it LIGHT AND FUN! DO NOT MENTION MEETING HER JUST YET IN THIS CONVO, LET HER FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH YOU.

    Fourth, call her two days later after your first convo. Again, talk for a few minutes and then ask her out. If things went fine in your last convo, then she should agree to meet up.

    Fifth, on the date. On the date take her for some ice cream/cofee and a walk. This is good. It will keep the conversation flowing and awkward silences to a minimum since there is so much to comment on. End the date at about 2 hours, no less than one, no more than 2. Make sure you initiate some contact (a hug and a kiss at the end) dont worry about going in for a first kiss just yet, unless you know for a fact its gone great and she wants it.

    Six. Call her up two days later unless she contacted you first. Keep this convo short, 15 minutes or so max and just catch up with her, dont make a second date yet.

    Seven. Call her up again, two days later (by two days I mean one day in between when you called) and ask her out again.......

    The main thing here bro is TO PLEASE, PLEASE keep your expectations low...be confident, have fun....don't talk about your negative traits...dont brag about your positive traits...this is why dates fail...it turns into an boring, analytical Q and A session....have fun...involvee Q and A's but with a fun attitude, keep the sob stories to a bare minimum or non-existent. and don't expect too much for this girl. If you find yourself thinking too much about this girl and possibilities, start thinking about those same possibilities with anothe girl you mmight know/like.

    Do things on your time. See how I set a map with time in between (phone convo lenght, when to call etc) its like a map really. That way you know your not overwhelming her. If she happens to contact you within your map, then thats on her....and a good sign, although if she doesnt...it doesnt mean its a bad sign. And remember, even if you follow your own "time" map so you dont seem desperate, if you are desperate she will still feel it off you. This is why some guys can get away with calling everyday, because they are not desperate inside and this vibe gives out...its all about your inner self. So again, if you find yourself focusing too much on this girl, start thinking about another girl you fancy and imagine everything with her. Imagine shes the one you want.

    Goodluck, I know these are tough.

    Let me know how it goes!

  7. #7
    Aaron20b

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    She lives to far. I can't ask her out. I was going to wait for her to come but now she keeps talking about that other guy she is in a relationship with. Also, this guy is ALSO long distants. So now I feel like crap because she choose another guy that lived far over me.

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