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Thread: How to tell someone they're acting rude.

  1. #1
    missyou
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    How to tell someone they're acting rude.

    How do you politely tell someone they're acting rude? I want to encourage communication and not offend them.

  2. #2
    CaptainPlanet

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    you let the other person save face

    tell them in private

    say the first part of it with a smile

    say you probably don't realise

    tell them they're innocent

    but let them know very nicely you don't think what they do is nice

    if its ur boss u can't do it

    you need to let them save face

    private non confrontational and DO NOT attack thier charecter

    Hey john you probably don't realise it but my ears are pretty sensitive so when you talk you can be a little bit loud, sorry its probably my fault but you seem to loud to me

    as a really lame example.

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    RooferGirl23
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    are they acting rude to just you or people in general? Its a tough one, doing so without upsetting the person.

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    annie24
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    can you be more specific about what is the rudeness? and who is the person in question? how you react to rudeness would be different if that person is your boss, a sister, your SO, an acquaintance, or your 5 year old son.

  5. #5
    missyou
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    Certain friends and SO, for the most part. If I do something that upsets them, they'll start acting rude instead of telling me what it was that offended them. Rudeness in terms of being curt, making personal shots at me through sarcasm, things like that.

  6. #6
    annie24
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    what is it that you are doing that upsets them? are you doing these things intentionally or unintentionally?

  7. #7
    missyou
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    Unintentionally, because I have no idea what I'm doing. They won't tell me.

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    annie24
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    sorry if I'm asking a lot of questions, I just want to understand the situation fully so that I can give you good feedback.

    So, what is it exactly that happens? are you out with your friends, having a fun time, then you say something, and everyone goes silent and starts ignoring you?

  9. #9
    missyou
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    No, to be honest it's really just an SO problem, I mentioned certain friends because I wanted to know what to do in case it did happen with them in the future.

    Basically, we'll be talking, and all of a sudden he'll clam up and/or start acting rude. If I ask him what's wrong he'll say nothing.

  10. #10
    annie24
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    Well, to be honest, I think that something you must be doing is the problem also, otherwise, they wouldn't just clam up and start being rude out of nowhere. you may have inadvertently offended them or said something they are sensitive about.

    I would say, "Hey - I notice that you are acting withdrawn now, and I want to understand this. Did I say something that upset you? I'm sorry if I did and I want to know what I said that was wrong so I don't upset you again."

    EDIT: Unless..... he just does that, has his mood change rapidly like that and starts being rude and mean to you with no reason at all. If he doesn't give you a reason, and just snaps at you, you should reconsider if you want to be in a relationship with someone that moody and uncommunicative.

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