¿Should I or should I not?

After three months NC I still have her in my mind every day... not as intensly as it was during the first and a half months, but she's still with me, although her face begins to dissipate in my memory. She was my gf for the last 3.5 years, and we were really in love with each other. The last year we both had too many other occupations, especially me, and our relationship seemed to loose positions amongst our list of priorities. I thought this was something we had to go through and we would be together afterwards for ever, but she felt this meant I was no longer in love with her and she dumped me. After some months LC I found out she had dated another guy right after breaking-up with me although she had said nothing about it to me and she knew I still was in love with her. When I found out I begged and cried, we both cried and had a hart time for over a month, when she said she had given herself some time with this other guy, something which I discovered to be untrue. After that we went into NC. I felt horrible for the first two months, and now I seem to be moving on, at least I no longer have anxiety as I did. However I miss her so much, I ask myself if she still thinks on me, if she misses me, or if she'll be back... (I've seen on other threads this is so normal on us the dumpees).

I've met another girl at work who's very nice. We like each other and we text and mail each other,... just flirting. However I haven't felt for her the same I felt for my ex. With my ex it was love at first sight... we fell in love with each other when we first met, everything was like living inside a bubble that kept us protected from the rest of the world including problems and arguments. I don't know what to do with this other girl bec on one side I like being liked and reading messages from her... but on the other side I can't imagine myself with someone who's not my ex. This was one of the hardest things to assume when I found out she was with someone else... she was my first love and I thought I'd spend my life with her, so imagining her with someone else broke up my mind, I was depressed and spent the worse weeks ever in my life. So the same seems to happen with myself... I have to assume I will be with someone else, which certainly will take time, lots of time. I'm afraid to hurt myself or hurt this girl, but moving on seems to imply taking this risk, doesen't it?

If you're not "feeling" it, you're not feeling it. Don't rush or force something because you want to move on quickly from the thoughts of the EX. If anything go out with the purpose of having a good time and don't put any pressure on yourself to be committed. Everything will happen in due time just don't force it. And it is normal to compare your EX and the relationship to whoever you're seeing now.

What you're feeling is natural. You were with her for 3.5 years, those feelings won't fade in 3 months bro. You said it doesn't hurt as much, and each day it's going to hurt less and less. It's never safe to assume she's thinking, or not thinking about you, who cares? She dated another guy right after a 3.5 yr relationship? She's obviously trying to fill that void too.

Keep on talking to this new girl from work. You're not having those "bubbly" feelings because you still have your ex lingering in your mind. Try focusing on what you like about this new girl, and focus your energy in that direction. Who knows what the future holds for you and your ex, but right now the only person you need to worry about is YOU. Get yourself back, and keep the door open for new opportunities, you never know what you're missing out on.

That "love at first site" feeling isn't something I've had much luck with...so maybe you're on to something here by seeing this new girl and taking it slow. I'd say, at only 3 months out, you don't have that part to give anyone yet anyway. I'm at the same place and I certainly don't, even as I'm trying to do a little dating. If you are experiencing a connection of some sort to this new woman then why fight it? Let it be what it is and just be honest with her about your process.