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Thread: He's going back to his ex.

  1. #1
    jgrissom
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    Unhappy He's going back to his ex.

    Im not quite sure what to do in this situation, or where to post for that matter. My story in a big nut shell. I started dating this amazing guy. He had been out of a love relationship for over a year. He had moved to my area to be near his GF at the time, and she broke up with him shortly after because she wanted to date other people. Within the last 6 months she has moved away. He travels a lot. The company he works for is the same in which his ex's mother works for. He was sent overseas for two weeks.
    He called me before he left, and then sent me an email sometime in between. Apparently...the ex showed up overseas visiting her mom, and they spent a lot of time together. (How ironic lol)

    They decided to start dating some, however she still says he should date other people because she is. It's driving me crazy, because I thought he was really amazing, and it seems she is taking him for a ride. And he thinks she is the one he will marry long term...but not now. He told me all of this, and was very open about it. I respect him for that. He said he wanted to remain friends but that I should know he was going to be ridiculously busy for the next few months. There is not a doubt in my mind that he was lying about his story... all the same, its been two weeks since he told it, and I havent talked to him face to face or phone to phone. I can't even seem to catch him at his computer when I am around. I could send him an email or call him.. but, the last he told was the last two weeks were crazy busy! HELP, what should I do?
    We have eachother on facebook.... should I remove him? Should I call him?


  2. #2
    Crazyaboutdogs
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    How long have you been dating? He is clearly not over his ex so it is time for you to disappear from his life. If he wants his ex, there is nothing you can do. My recommendation would be for you not to call him, just disappear off the face of the earth. I don't know too much about facebook, but I am wondering if you take him off, that might look like you are hurting and being petty. If you just disappear off the face of the earth, it is like you couldn't care less about what he gets up to. Then in a month or so from now if you haven't heard from him, then take him off facebook. This way you are doing it gradually like two people who simply drifted apart, rather than doing it out of hurt and disappointment.

  3. #3
    jgrissom
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    I think facebook operates like myspace. When you take the friend off the list, its removed from both sides. We weren't together long, but we had that comfortable feeling between us. I spent the night at his house a few times. I agree that taking him off of facebook is petty, and that its probably best I wait a while and then do it. But, I haven't had direct communication with him in two weeks. I left him a few msg on IM, and he responded once when I wasnt around. I assume best is to call him in a few weeks, leave a msg and if I don't here from him, Drop all hope? Is it possible for a situation like his to work out? I just see him getting hurt...of course he is doing the same thing to me I suppose. He told me once that he dated a girl, and he was out of town for a month, and only called her once during that time.

  4. #4
    HealingHandsWarmHeart
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    i think the real question is...how do you feel about him dating his ex-girlfriend and dating you?

  5. #5
    lovecrazy
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    Ok doll, why would you want to even considering dating a guy who passes you up for a girl who treated him like crap?

    I honestly would just move on, I am sure it hurts you that he went back to his ex. Wish him luck, and find another amazing guy!

  6. #6
    jgrissom
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    I haven't gotten that far really. I asked him if he was even open to having feelings for anyone else with her in his head and he said "I guess so" . I realize I would have an advantage of living closer, and not being wild and crazy to date others. When he said they were going to probably be together in the long run I said, if you know that.. then we should just be friends cause I dont want to get hurt in that way. And he said that he understood. I'm just hurt.. all around hurt, because I haven't even heard from him. And before she got back into his life (think she may have heard about me)... we would chat everday on AIM, and now, he doesn't even get on AIM.

  7. #7
    HealingHandsWarmHeart
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    If i were you ..i would go NC.... he's really made it very clear that he wants to pursue his ex...and that is his prerogative and he was very honest with how he feels.

    I'm so sorry you are so hurt... but the best thing is to move on- I've been where you are..and its not fun.

  8. #8
    fnlyfrei

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    The fact that you are posting this shows that you are Waaaay more into him than he is/was into you. How does that feel? I know when I went into the dating pool, I picked out people that I felt were great for me...but they weren't that "into" me. You seem to be holding out hope, that like in some romantic chick-flick, he will see that YOU were the one and come running back to you, his arms filled with roses. Um, he won't. He obviously set up the meeting in Europe, and he is hoping this other woman will do the romantic movie thingy with HIM. I know it stinks, but chalk it up to a learning experience and move on, put him out of your mind, and yeah, off your facebook. Someone who wants you will come after YOU, you don't need to sit there holding your breath. It's true. And you deserve to be sought after, desired and treated like a queen. This guy is missing out, but you will not teach him that by mooning over him. You will teach him that after you have long forgotten him, have found someone terrific who loves you, and his unrequited love has moved on. Then he will probably call you. And by then, you will hardly remember his name. Move on sistah.

  9. #9
    jgrissom
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    How does NC work, when one person is already rarely around. I go NC, I dont think he would know the difference. Should I delete myself from his facebook then?

  10. #10
    BeStrongBeHappy
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    I think that he has made his choice... he could have kept dating you, but he chose to chase after his ex instead. so it sounds over, and you DON'T want him back if the only reason he is seeing you is because his ex keeps changing her mind and going back and forth.

    delete him off your facebook, and move on to someone who does think you're first best, not second best. we all deserve to feel loved, not like we're leftovers.

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