How do you get over a strong crush/infatuation?

Long story short, I have a huge crush on this girl. She knows how I feel but doesn't feel the same. She's like a drug. I want to let go and move on but it's so hard. I cannot stop thinking about her. I cannot stop dreaming about her. I cannot stop hoping she and I end up together after all this heartache. Yet deep down inside I know she and I will never be. I'm convinced the worst feeling in the world is when you really like someone and they do not feel the same. I know there are other fish in the sea but right now, I simply cannot get excited about another girl. I just can't. Thankfully I am not stalking or bothering her. I've tried to give it time and that does help until I run into her. I went about a month without seeing or hearing about her and I was starting to feel a little better but all those feelings came back over the weekend when I saw her. I hate this. I'm fighting myself not to text her, call her, check her myspace or walk by her house. This really sucks. Has anyone been in this situation? How do you get over a strong crush? I haven't felt this way since highschool.

well, the only thing that will really help is time. BUT I have found that starting to go out and date someone else helps tremendously keep yourself busy and date!

she dosent like you any further persuing of her will lead to one of 2 options

1. you going to jail for stalking

2. you being heartbroken when she finds someoen else

raw facts

she dosent like you kid.........and any chance of any thing like a relationship she dosent want........sad but true, its all ok cz you'll find someone else who you'll fall head over heels over happens all the time

You tell yourself that you deserve better and that if she doesn't want to be with you, it's her loss - but also her choice. If you really care for her, you will respect her decision enough to let her go and find happiness even without you. You deserve someone who can love, appreciate, respect and value you as much as you do this girl. Don't settle for less.

Also, you know she's not the right one for you. The right girl will like you back. It's as simple as that, really.

She knows how I feel but doesn't feel the same.

Keep in mind that this is an immutable fact of chemistry and attraction!!! There is nothing worse than trying to overcome or change the mind of someone who isn't into you "that way"!!!

B**ch slap mother nature if you must, but you are pumping from a dry well.

Sorry

Zack.

Just a few questions to ask about your object of limerance:

- does she have allot of guy friends or a clique of guy friends?

- do you see her with guys and girls or more with any particular gender?

- is she an 'only child'?

- has she had some experience or thing about her that makes her really unique compared to the average girl?

- what did she do or say that caused the limerance - or is it simply love at first sight?

- are you 'her friend' or do you feel you are in a love-triangle while she loves someone else?

**********

I'm a limerance sufferer myself (limerance is defined as a crush that wont go away - mine's have been like over three years - have a current limerance that's still in effect over 8 months from my last correspondance with the object of my limerance).

I've written a thread about it on the same page as this thread - I know how you feel, and it's really a madenning experience.

Anyway, I've written questions that represent themes with my limerant objects and wanted to see if there was a definate correlation.

In case you don't know, "limerance" is a log-term OBSESSIVE infatuation.

good lord...we get it...limerance...word of the day. lol.

what does being an only child have to do with it, or any of those other questions?

- does she have allot of guy friends or a clique of guy friends? I don't really know her but she must have a lot of guys after her. She's gorgeous. She has a lot of guy friends on her myspace. Not many write to her though. I've seen her around my way hanging out with this particular guy. But she told me he's not her BF but she's seeing someone. Didn't specify if it was this same guy.

- do you see her with guys and girls or more with any particular gender? I only see her at her job so I'm not too sure.

- is she an 'only child'? No, she has a younger brother.

- has she had some experience or thing about her that makes her really unique compared to the average girl? I think it's her beauty and the fact that she's given me some attention, which I haven't gotten from the opposite sex in month's.

- what did she do or say that caused the limerance - or is it simply love at first sight? She was just friendly towards me. Not many girls are like that with me. Girls avoid me to be honest. So when this gorgeous girl inniciated converation with me, I misread her friendliness for something more. She would maintain long eye contact and smile a lot when she saw me. I'm just an idiot who can't tell the difference between flirting and being friendly.

- are you 'her friend' or do you feel you are in a love-triangle while she loves someone else? No, I turned down the offer to be her friend. I don't want to be her friend and keep hurting while she's seeing another guy and I'm still interested in her.

The best way I got over a crush was by becoming good friends with him. I didn't set out to get over the crush by becoming friends, but that was the result.

In case you don't know, "limerance" is a log-term OBSESSIVE infatuation.

I read a lot about this yesturday and it's exactly what this is. I hate it though. If I don't feel better by next week, I'm thinking of talking to a doctor. I've never been on meds but I'm desperate. I don't want to keep feeling like this all summer long. If I can take something that will make me forget about her or simply not give a damn anymore, I'm game.

It just pisses me off that I've allowed myself to get like this. I'm not 16 years old anymore. I shouldn't take this situation so hard. I feel so emotionally weak.

The best way I got over a crush was by becoming good friends with him. I didn't set out to get over the crush by becoming friends, but that was the result.

No way. I couldn't be her friend while she's with another guy. That will hurt 100x worse. If she's not mine, I don't want her in my life at all.

The best way I got over a crush was by becoming good friends with him. I didn't set out to get over the crush by becoming friends, but that was the result.

That's definitely one good way to get over a crush. When you become good friends with a person, you get to see how they really are. Then you start to realize that they weren't exactly what you were looking for or even what you thought they were.

But yeah, it can be difficult to do the friends thing.

I disagree with becoming 'friends' with a girl that there is a crush on especially if you are not getting attention from girls and feel like a lost puppy dog that's just being conveniantly entertained by a girl that you feel is out of your league. You would feel that a friendship would seem like some sort of patronizing by her and feeding her ego at the same time, and you are always reminded that you are the second-class or inferior man compared to guys she is actually attracted to.

Friendship = false hope of what you really want - leads to inevitable hurt, disappointment and frustration.

A better line of advice would be to find out exactly why you are having difficulty with girls in general, and deal with those issues head-on, and try to meet or connect with more girls, and keep this one in the back-burner until you have really found your confidence and have a REAL girlfriend rather than this excuse for a relationship.

Agree with the friendship aspect. I cannot be friends with girls I REALLY like and I REALLY like this girl. Hell, seeing her at the park with that other guy almost gave me a heartattack lmao. I cannot imagine being her friend and have her tell me how much she loves someone else.

I honestly do not know why it's been so difficult for me to attract girls. I know I wasn't blessed with good looks but I try my best to look my best. I workout, I buy nice expensive clothes, I get a haircut weekly, get my teeth whitened, I always wear cologne and it's just not good enough. I don't think it's my personality either. I am not Mr. Negative when I try to talk to girls. I try my best to come accross as a real, sincere, funny and trustworthy. I am shy by nature but it's nothing so severe where I cannot talk to people. I just wish I knew exactly what is wrong so I can change it.

I am also a member of sosuave, link removed try that one out.

apart from that rule of chemistry - ^ thats pretty much it.

sucks, I know.

I think this is a very common situation, most of us have been there and it sucks big time. It's kind of ridiculous when you think about it, why does it hurt so much? grrr I personally have been there many times in my life.