Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Difference between being friends and boyfriend/girlfriend?

  1. #1
    matts0344
    Bronze Member matts0344's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Age
    29
    Posts
    258
    Gender
    Male

    Difference between being friends and boyfriend/girlfriend?

    OK, say there is a girl I like, she has shown some interest in me. We're basically a little more than aquantainces.

    What is the real difference between being friends and being a couple? I'm not asking what is different about being a coupe vs friends but what differences lead to either one. Is it love? If so what does that even mean? Or is the only difference between good friends and a couples sexual attraction? Or is it something more?


    I've never had a girlfriend or any good girl friends.
    I have many good guy friends, I really like them, could I say I love them? I would do just about anything for them and trust them with my life. Though I have no sexual attraction to them. So is having a girlfriend like that except there is sexual attraction?

    I don't even know if I'm making sense, just throwing some stuff out there to try to understand the relationship between couples.

  2. #2
    Eva:Gina
    Platinum Member Eva:Gina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Aotearoa
    Age
    32
    Posts
    3,413
    Gender
    Female
    There is more to being in a relationship than just being friends who have sex.
    There is an extra element... its indescribable... but its best summed up by "commitment and passion".

  3. #3
    CarnelianButterfly
    Platinum Member CarnelianButterfly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Too far from home
    Age
    35
    Posts
    4,874
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by Eva:Gina [Register to see the link]
    There is more to being in a relationship than just being friends who have sex.
    There is an extra element... its indescribable... but its best summed up by "commitment and passion".
    I agree.

    I'd also like to add, my boyfriend is my best friend. The connection I have to him is far deeper than anything I've ever felt with anyone else. He was a friend before we became a couple, our feelings went beyond just caring and attraction.

  4. #4
    Eva:Gina
    Platinum Member Eva:Gina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Aotearoa
    Age
    32
    Posts
    3,413
    Gender
    Female
    yep
    my ex was my best friend at the time too, but not becuase of any deep bond, just because of the amount of time we spent together.

    I dont feel entirely comfortable calling my bf my best friend yet, but he is. We enjoy our time together so completely

  5. #5
    pianoguy
    Platinum Member pianoguy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Boston
    Age
    31
    Posts
    1,328
    Gender
    Male
    I think being a couple is essentially being good friends, having sex, and romantic love, which usually proceeds from the other two.

    The love you have for your guy friends isn't quite the same. It is similar, but the sexual attraction does play a major role.

    I sometimes wonder if romantic love is just our psychological/cultural way of dealing with lust, but that's another discussion altogether.

  6. #6
    matts0344
    Bronze Member matts0344's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Age
    29
    Posts
    258
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by pianoguy [Register to see the link]

    I sometimes wonder if romantic love is just our psychological/cultural way of dealing with lust, but that's another discussion altogether.
    Yes, this is basically what I'm asking / trying to say. How romantic love is different from other love other than the sex. It seems like its something I just need to experience for myself.

  7. #7
    devast
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    318
    Gender
    Male
    the real difference between all types of relationships, professional, business, friends, intimate, romatic.... etc... etc...

    EXPECTATIONS...

    intensity of your relationship depends on that... thus the end result... depends on that as well.... joy, happiness, pain or sadness, etc.... are the end results...

  8. #8
    devast
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    318
    Gender
    Male
    to the Original topic... you have different expectations from a friend than when he/she is your bf/gf... so your reactions to the end result will be different...

    example.. you don't have a right to be jealous when your friend sees someone else or cancel your plan with her/him... you can be jealoused but you can't show that to him/her... but if she/he is your gf/bf... you'll be mad on top of your head...

  9. #9
    TheFoglifter
    TheFoglifter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    1,202
    The most tangible difference is the sex. The hardest difference to describe is the love.

    If you aren't getting sex though, you are just "great friends" and are free to sleep with whomever you please. Unless you are head over heels in love (hence, difficult to describe) don't remain more than friends with someone who doesn't give you sex. Trust me.

  10. #10
    pianoguy
    Platinum Member pianoguy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Boston
    Age
    31
    Posts
    1,328
    Gender
    Male
    Yes, this is basically what I'm asking / trying to say. How romantic love is different from other love other than the sex. It seems like its something I just need to experience for myself.
    It helps... I think you can imagine it though. Did you have crushes in high school and that kind of thing where you would sit around and daydream about girls? Or a girl in particular?

  11.  

Top Threads
Partner says they won't miss you while on trip, how bad is that?
My wife is currently on a cruise with her mom. They are spending time together as they don't get to much and my mother in law has cancer. So this is
How to get my gf to stop asking such useless "why" questions and just let me be
Hoping some can offer insight into my current issue within my relationship. Gf and I been dating for 3 1/2 years, both in our late 20's. She's
Boyfriend says I'm too clingy.
So I was trying to organise plans with my boyfriend and I sent him a text. Instead 2 hours later I received no reply, yet he had obviously been on
Is he right or am I wrong for wanting to spend more time with him?
Me and my partner have been together for a year and a half now. I love him to pieces and I really do see a future with him. He has told me too that
my bf won't stop accusing me of cheating on him and i didn't do it.
I've been with the love of my life for almost 2 years. this past summer i got a new job that was really demanding and required me to do a lot of work
Obsessed With Girlfriend
Hello all, so me and my girlfriend have been together for almost 4 years, the first 3 was all long distance and we rarely got to see each other. The
Dumped out of the blue 8 1/2 year relationship...
Not sure whether I'm posting this more as a cry for help, or a way of me venting... But anyway, I met my ex girlfriend when we both went to college

Featured Threads
He took my sisters virginity!
Well.. Here goes nothing. I don't have anyone to talk to and hoping to get some insight. My mind is confused and my heart is completely
Dating after working in the sex industry
Hey all, I'm coming out of a difficult time in my life where i worked as a sex worker. I just wanted some opinions on how to handle this when I begin
My boyfriend hangs out one on one with his ex am I right to feel uncomfortable?
Hi everyone, I posted here before about how my boyfriend and his ex are close friends. Long story short, they date for two years, realised they were
What does this mean?
I'm a 24 year old man and I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 5 years. But I'm feeling like this relationship is built on blind trust
Is this just "The 21st Century Woman?"
For the past 5 years, every woman I've dated (ages 25-32 we'll say) has had to stress to me immediately, before anything gets going, that they are
Venting I guess... I miss having sex.
So... I don't know if there is any real advice that can be given here. But I'm sure people here can at least relate and maybe share their
My boyfriend curses at me but says he's joking?
Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 8 months and while everything has been great so far except that he curses at me but says
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •