Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Difference between being friends and boyfriend/girlfriend?

  1. #1
    matts0344
    Bronze Member matts0344's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Age
    31
    Posts
    258
    Gender
    Male

    Difference between being friends and boyfriend/girlfriend?

    OK, say there is a girl I like, she has shown some interest in me. We're basically a little more than aquantainces.

    What is the real difference between being friends and being a couple? I'm not asking what is different about being a coupe vs friends but what differences lead to either one. Is it love? If so what does that even mean? Or is the only difference between good friends and a couples sexual attraction? Or is it something more?

    I've never had a girlfriend or any good girl friends.
    I have many good guy friends, I really like them, could I say I love them? I would do just about anything for them and trust them with my life. Though I have no sexual attraction to them. So is having a girlfriend like that except there is sexual attraction?

    I don't even know if I'm making sense, just throwing some stuff out there to try to understand the relationship between couples.

  2. #2
    Eva:Gina
    Platinum Member Eva:Gina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Aotearoa
    Age
    33
    Posts
    3,413
    Gender
    Female
    There is more to being in a relationship than just being friends who have sex.
    There is an extra element... its indescribable... but its best summed up by "commitment and passion".

  3. #3
    CarnelianButterfly
    Platinum Member CarnelianButterfly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Too far from home
    Age
    36
    Posts
    4,874
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by Eva:Gina [Register to see the link]
    There is more to being in a relationship than just being friends who have sex.
    There is an extra element... its indescribable... but its best summed up by "commitment and passion".
    I agree.

    I'd also like to add, my boyfriend is my best friend. The connection I have to him is far deeper than anything I've ever felt with anyone else. He was a friend before we became a couple, our feelings went beyond just caring and attraction.

  4. #4
    Eva:Gina
    Platinum Member Eva:Gina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Aotearoa
    Age
    33
    Posts
    3,413
    Gender
    Female
    yep
    my ex was my best friend at the time too, but not becuase of any deep bond, just because of the amount of time we spent together.

    I dont feel entirely comfortable calling my bf my best friend yet, but he is. We enjoy our time together so completely

  5. #5
    pianoguy
    Platinum Member pianoguy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Boston
    Age
    32
    Posts
    1,328
    Gender
    Male
    I think being a couple is essentially being good friends, having sex, and romantic love, which usually proceeds from the other two.

    The love you have for your guy friends isn't quite the same. It is similar, but the sexual attraction does play a major role.

    I sometimes wonder if romantic love is just our psychological/cultural way of dealing with lust, but that's another discussion altogether.

  6. #6
    matts0344
    Bronze Member matts0344's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Age
    31
    Posts
    258
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by pianoguy [Register to see the link]

    I sometimes wonder if romantic love is just our psychological/cultural way of dealing with lust, but that's another discussion altogether.
    Yes, this is basically what I'm asking / trying to say. How romantic love is different from other love other than the sex. It seems like its something I just need to experience for myself.

  7. #7
    devast
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    318
    Gender
    Male
    the real difference between all types of relationships, professional, business, friends, intimate, romatic.... etc... etc...

    EXPECTATIONS...

    intensity of your relationship depends on that... thus the end result... depends on that as well.... joy, happiness, pain or sadness, etc.... are the end results...

  8. #8
    devast
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    318
    Gender
    Male
    to the Original topic... you have different expectations from a friend than when he/she is your bf/gf... so your reactions to the end result will be different...

    example.. you don't have a right to be jealous when your friend sees someone else or cancel your plan with her/him... you can be jealoused but you can't show that to him/her... but if she/he is your gf/bf... you'll be mad on top of your head...

  9. #9
    TheFoglifter
    TheFoglifter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    1,202
    The most tangible difference is the sex. The hardest difference to describe is the love.

    If you aren't getting sex though, you are just "great friends" and are free to sleep with whomever you please. Unless you are head over heels in love (hence, difficult to describe) don't remain more than friends with someone who doesn't give you sex. Trust me.

  10. #10
    pianoguy
    Platinum Member pianoguy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Boston
    Age
    32
    Posts
    1,328
    Gender
    Male
    Yes, this is basically what I'm asking / trying to say. How romantic love is different from other love other than the sex. It seems like its something I just need to experience for myself.
    It helps... I think you can imagine it though. Did you have crushes in high school and that kind of thing where you would sit around and daydream about girls? Or a girl in particular?

  11.  

Top Threads
Should I pay?
My girlfriend and I broke up in February. We've managed to stay good friends since then despite it being quite difficult at times. When we were
Should I be concerned about my GF and her friday night "business" meetings?
I am wondering what to think here. Without going into many details, I'm dating a girl I used to date years ago. She was unfaithful then. We did not
For love or friendship
This is hard for me to write because I know I'm in the wrong, but it's still hard to accept the situation and I would like some advice. So for the
Looking for a Birthday present for my bf, connected to the modern tech
Hi, guys I'm quite lost as my bf is turning 29 soon and I have no idea what to get him. He is into modern technology, we have VR headset at home
He doesn't know when to leave...literally
My boyfriend of about six months is a great guy, but he is not great on picking up unspoken cues, and this particularly comes out when it is time to
Boyfriend got another woman pregnant
Hi, I'm new here, not posted before so hopefully this is in the right place (and I can figure out how to read responses!) I'm in a really
Problems after threesome
I could really do with some advise as unfortunately my go to gal for this type of thing is involved so don't know where else to turn I have been

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
I love you, but I'm not in love with you.
So my fiancÚ of 7.5 years has decided she isn't in love with me anymore so has broken up with me. Our situation is very complicated we have a 2.5
How far should I go with unfriending/blocking on social media?
Hi all, I'm going hard no contact. She originally unfriended me on Snap and Twitter. I recently unfriended her on FB and IG. I also went a step
missing atm
I think what I miss at the moment is having a friend to talk to like we used to. She became the only person I really talked to for the better part
Mum boyfriend inapropriate
Hi everyone, thought i would share an update on whats happened so far. Thankyou all for helping me out yesterday, everything you all said was really
Girlfriend always mad at me
Me and my girlfriend have been togetehr for almost a year. I love her more than anything and i know shes not cheating on me or anything like that
I [F/26] found underwear in my boyfriend's [M/30] pocket.
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year. Recently, my boyfriend asked me to look for some money, so I looked everywhere and I couldn't find it. I
Ex gf text me out of the blue
I guess I just want some feedback and honest replies as my head is completely gone again. Me and my ex gf have been in no contact for a few months
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •