Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 42

Thread: "I love you...but..."<<-- tormenting and brain draining...

  1. #21
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Age
    38
    Posts
    2,135
    Gender
    Male
    I had to say some very painful words to my Ex while we parted ways:

    "I love you, but I'm not in love with you.".

    I know it hurt her and it killed me to do that to her, but I believe that I owed her my full honesty. I also feel that she had felt the same way for a while, but neither of us had the heart to say it to the other.

  2. #22
    Gold Member rokston's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    London, UK
    Age
    41
    Posts
    805
    Gender
    Male
    also believe that "I love you, but I don't love our relationship" is valid but in my situation i must say that it sounds like BS. the relationship has always accommodated most things she wanted even at significant sacrifice from me and she is pretty vague as to what she does not like about it. also, part of the problems have been caused by her doubts for over a year...

    anyway, i guess it is a valid reason. sometimes people just dont feel the same way ..

  3. #23
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    318
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by rokston
    going through the "i love you, BUT..." phase now, its totally confusing me.

    "i love you BUT i just don't know" ?? - what don't you know? .. "i don't know"

    "i love you BUT it may be too soon to try again".. hmm, like why?

    "i love you BUT i don't love our relationship" ..

    "i love you, I want to marry you, you are the one BUT i feel like maybe i have been in relationships since too young" ... not with me..

    "i love you BUT I need to stand on my own two feet"... you were anyway and now you are standing on my head/heart.

    I hear different variants all the time ... but she swears she is straight with me... well i just dont get it!!!

    Come to think about all the "I love you, buts that I have experienced"... it makes me laugh, a bit angry and made me felt stupid, coz I didn't laugh about it as soon as I heard it from my ex...

  4. #24
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    318
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by Clarity
    I had to say some very painful words to my Ex while we parted ways:

    "I love you, but I'm not in love with you.".

    I know it hurt her and it killed me to do that to her, but I believe that I owed her my full honesty. I also feel that she had felt the same way for a while, but neither of us had the heart to say it to the other.
    Sorry? How's this an honest statement? "You love her, but youre not in love with her"?...

    or you mean... you loved her before, but you don't love her anymore at the time you said it?

  5.  

  6. #25
    Silver Member ryan250's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Age
    32
    Posts
    465
    Gender
    Male
    I heard this doozy from my ex.

    "I need to be single right now, but I will always love you"

    THEN WHY THE HECK ARE YOU BREAKING UP WITH ME!!!

    Ugh, it's frustrating!

  7. #26

    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    West Bay
    Posts
    5,708
    I love this topic.

    When my ex broke up with me, she sent me an email that recounted some of the better times we had together.... that trip to that Bed and Breakfast for the weekend. Reading books to each other and picnicing in the park. It concluded with "I'll always love you." Dear lord.

    Am I really suppose to be able to move on from that?

    My first response was "If I buy you a donut, will you reconsider?" It all just seemed so absurd that absurdity seemed the only appropriate retort.

  8. #27
    Silver Member ryan250's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Age
    32
    Posts
    465
    Gender
    Male
    My first response was "If I buy you a donut, will you reconsider?" It all just seemed so absurd that absurdity seemed the only appropriate retort.
    Haha. That is great!

  9. #28
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Age
    38
    Posts
    2,135
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by devast
    Sorry? How's this an honest statement? "You love her, but youre not in love with her"?...

    or you mean... you loved her before, but you don't love her anymore at the time you said it?
    Maybe we're having a mix-up of terminology here, but to me, you can love someone without being "in love" with them. You love close friends and family, right, but you are not "in love" with them, correct? That's the sense that I mean it in. I loved her, and I still do. She remains my best friend, the person that has been closest to me in my life. We just fell "out of love", as in we lost our spark/passion, desire for each other, or whatever you want to call it.

  10. #29
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    318
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by Clarity
    Maybe we're having a mix-up of terminology here, but to me, you can love someone without being "in love" with them. You love close friends and family, right, but you are not "in love" with them, correct? That's the sense that I mean it in. I loved her, and I still do. She remains my best friend, the person that has been closest to me in my life. We just fell "out of love", as in we lost our spark/passion, desire for each other, or whatever you want to call it.
    And this is just the reason why... "I love you but (whatever excuse)...." is confusing, brain draining... in the end... looking back on it... its funny...

    mix-up terminology... just like mixing one word with its antonyms, which just doesn't rhyme or doesn't jive... but to the speaker, of course it will always sound cliche....for he is the only one who can interpret what he said, anyway.

    Just like the above quote, it was quite a longer interpretation of what you mean exactly. But with "I love you, but I am not in love with you".... a lot of things a missing...

    [QUOTE=rokston;1677128]... but she swears she is straight with me... well i just dont get it!!!

    Anyway..in your case Clarity...I believe your ex understood your honesty...

    Cheers
    Last edited by devast; 06-13-2007 at 03:37 AM.

  11. #30
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    314
    Originally Posted by Clarity
    Maybe we're having a mix-up of terminology here, but to me, you can love someone without being "in love" with them. You love close friends and family, right, but you are not "in love" with them, correct? That's the sense that I mean it in. I loved her, and I still do. She remains my best friend, the person that has been closest to me in my life. We just fell "out of love", as in we lost our spark/passion, desire for each other, or whatever you want to call it.
    Do you believe that two people can fall back in love again? I do...my parents split up when they were engaged for 2 years and eventually they found their way back to each other and eventually got married. Two years later, my older brother was born and the rest is history.
    So I literally wouldn't exist if this wasn't possible.

    A spark can always be reignited and love can always be rediscovered unless of course it was never there in the first place as I discovered this with my ex who never truly in love with me, thus I got the classic "I love you, BUT I'm not IN love with you" line... bluuu.
    Last edited by S.Ken; 06-13-2007 at 12:11 PM.

Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •