Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 23

Thread: She says no Chemistry..should i call?

  1. #1
    niceguycols
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    17

    She says no Chemistry..should i call?

    This is a follow up to my post a few days ago..So I met this girl and had a great first date..we ended up back in my apartment and made out for 2-3 hours..lots of kissing and physical intimacy..She called a week later and said that she doesn't feel the chemistry is there and wants to stay friends..i was reading in mens health today that this might be a sign that her physical signal s betrayed her so now she is trying to make up by pulling back a bit...Do you think I should call her and still try to hang out? Or should i let it go unless she calls or contacts me? Female opinion will be especially appreciated

  2. #2
    sophie274
    Platinum Member sophie274's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    4,966
    Thanked
    344
    Ok, I don't know where men's health is getting their info, but if I personally were to say "there's no chemistry, can we be friends", I imagine I would mean the no chemistry part and have said "let's be friends" just as a way to soften the blow, so my vote is no call.

  3. #3
    Jvc21
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    238
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    3
    sorry, male here. but i'll try my best anyhow.

    what do you mean by physical intimacy? did you make love? oral? feeling up? that's a broad term that could be a key to all of this. she could have been very surprised on how far she went and wants to tone it down. maybe she figured that guys who moved this fast are going to end up like one of those short-term relationships full of lust and no love?

    my advice is that wait a few days before she calls. then call her if nothing arises. if anything, you can develop a friendship without the romance. I know that's not what your looking for, but its better than having nothing at all...IMO.


    ~Jvc21

  4. #4
    kellbell
    Platinum Member kellbell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Colorado
    Age
    40
    Posts
    4,231
    Gender
    Female
    Hey there,

    "mens health today that this might be a sign that her physical signals betrayed her so now she is trying to make up by pulling back a bit."

    Sorry but that is most ridiculous thing I have ever read. I am not even sure I understand this fully.

    Anyhow, when a woman comes out and says there is nothing there and to be friends only, please believe her. Many women sometimes have a hard time straightshooting and getting to the point so they sometimes give the runaround, give excuses, try to soften the blow and sometimes they do not even call back. But this woman did not, she called, she was honest. Consider this a blessing. This did not work out, keep your options open. I strongly suggest you do not pursue this girl romantically anymore. Sorry it did not work out.

    Good luck!
    Last edited by kellbell; 05-22-2007 at 10:52 AM.

  5. #5
    annie24
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Age
    36
    Posts
    46,094
    Thanked
    1278
    Quote Originally Posted by sophie274 [Register to see the link]
    Ok, I don't know where men's health is getting their info, but if I personally were to say "there's no chemistry, can we be friends", I imagine I would mean the no chemistry part and have said "let's be friends" just as a way to soften the blow, so my vote is no call.
    Yikes, i have never said that to a guy I liked. I agree with sophie, I think you should let this one go. If you do ask her out again, know that it will be as just friends, unless she gives you clear signals otherwise..... I think she may actually be telling the truth here....

  6. #6
    JoeWho
    Gold Member JoeWho's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    North East USA
    Age
    38
    Posts
    824
    Gender
    Male
    What the hell are the people over at Men's Health smoking these days??? lol

    If she said there is no chemistry to you then just move on. Why waste any time on her if she said that. I wouldnt say that to a girl I had even the slightest bit of interest in.

  7. #7
    Jvc21
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    238
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    3
    go with these posters. there are plenty of other girls with similar traits that you can relate with and have good relationships with.

    Yes, it's not gonna be her, but you'd be surprised when some girl pops up and blows her out of the park.

    Believe.

  8. #8
    annie24
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Age
    36
    Posts
    46,094
    Thanked
    1278
    what did the men's health article say exactly? was it talking about a woman being a little "distant" the day after - because, yes, that does happen, there can be some awkwardness, so that isn't anything to be SO concerned about but "I feel no chemistry" is certainly slamming on the breaks....

    like kellbell said, if you were lucky enough that this woman is a straight-shooter, take her at her word! Many other (men and women) would just give you the run around, by being "too busy" to plan a date, or "not be sure" if they will be in town that weekend or not....

  9. #9
    BeStrongBeHappy
    Platinum Member BeStrongBeHappy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    7,341
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    7
    i think she is being pretty clear... she doesn't want to date you... could also mean she is dating someone else where she has stronger chemistry with him, and has decided to go with him instead of you...

    so you could try to stay friends, but if you want more, i think it will only lead to you feeling more rejected and stop you from pursuing other women who WILL have that chemistry with you. if you're not too invested in her you could stay friends, but it sounds like you will just end up being disappointed if she is being this clear that she doesn't feel a spark strong enough to date you.

  10. #10
    Zackinlaw

    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    New Jersey, USA
    Age
    32
    Posts
    1,963
    Gender
    Male
    You are lucky that she was up front with you, and I would take her at her word.

    As for the "let's be friends" part ... assuming that you have a romantic attraction toward her ... trying to be a non-romantic friend under those circumstances is a recipe for disaster for you. Don't ever imagine that her feelings will change ... it doesn't work that way, and you don't want to be six months down the road hoping she will be with you while she cries on your shoulder about her latest boyfriend problems!!! That's just pain for you, and awkwardness for her because she will know you are hurting and there is nothing she can do about it.

    Good luck.

    Zack.

  11.  

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Top Threads
Should I be upfront with the guys who I am dating?
I started dating recently again. Should I tell prospective dates that I am divorced with children upfront ahead of the date or not? Initially my
Timing for Dates
I was wondering what everyone's thoughts were on "last minute" date plans or tentative plans that aren't confirmed until last minute. I'm a planner
Very strange date stand up! Has this ever happened to anyone ? Thoughts?
Back dating after divorcing a year ago. A nice guy began texting me and we live a bit far (about an hour away from each other). We became friends
How to let someone down easy
Hello all, really needing some advice here. My coworker/friend confessed his feelings for me a week ago. When he did this he sat me down and asked to
Married man at work flirting with me? Now he is not acknowledging me, confused
There is this really cute guy who works in my office hes 35 but he looks and acts like he is 25, i just found out today that he has kids, i did also
Haven't heard from him in 5 days?
Been out with a guy 4 times, things were going well, but last week he said he'd be out of town for the weekend but that he wanted to see me again
Boyfriend being disrepectful ? Need advice please
I've been dating a guy for 10 months now and we become exclusive maybe around month 6. Well we've had our ups and downs. I have issues when he goes

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Tired of Being His Provider??
Okay so I found this site through Google. This seems like a pretty common topic and I suppose I just need to vent. My husband has been unemployed
Beautiful women who works at lush...
So there is this a girl who works at this place. I've been in there twice now and she is a stunner. Its one of those girls who you have to look twice
Being left for another man by my ex girlfriend
My and my ex gf broke up 7 months ago back in late April. We had bad fights and she stated she was unhappy. She then proceeded to have an active
Wondering?
Ok, I posted before about my situation but I would like to further talk. This woman I became involved with 3 years ago TOLD me she had feelings for
Break up Advice Needed
Hi all, I really need some advice on my recent break up with my girlfriend of almost five years. A few months ago I started to feel unhappy and
She's getting ready for marriage. She thinks that it is what I want. My fault.
So, I am pretty much in a difficult situation. I have been with a girl for the past 4 years. In these 4 years, after a while I realized she really
Venting - Advice...?
Hello, Im a 36 year old male, married with 3 kids. My wife and I are pretty much like roommates. There is zero sex life and its from both ends
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •