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Thread: Don't know what to do...

  1. #651
    Wow.. I finally got back to this thread. I started reading this in 2007 and when you stopped writing, it left me worried. Please update on how you and E are doing now.
    You know, I can relate to E a lot. I express myself better in writing and most of the time, there are so many things I want to say, but I get shy and I just can't express it verbally. I do really think E loves you, but she seems so selfless and has cared about you so much throughout all these years that she was always concerned about your future happiness. With the whole sex thing, don't think that just because you can't reciprocate, it means you're not useful to her. There are so many ways that love can be expressed. Sometimes, it won't be the way we want or expect it, but it doesn't mean it's existence isn't there.

  2. #652
    Gold Member Wayfara's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by iloveyoumorethanyouknow
    I finally got back to this thread. I started reading this in 2007 and when you stopped writing, it left me worried.
    I've haven't been writing here as things have been good (didn't want to bother the forum unnecessarily when there is no problem haha). The summer has been very nice and we have had picnics and taken swims in the lake, and we were out tenting a couple of days this week (didn't see your post until I got back).

    Once in awhile we decide a date night out and she even dresses up for me, first time I was shocked! Well no make-up or high heels, but she wears dress, does her hair. She says it's her duty as girlfriend to look good for me on dates out We met her teasing brother and his friend B once on one of the nights and they had a lot of fun about E's secret new style haha. She is so fun to tease, one night in the restaurant and I was flirting with her, hitting her with my foot under the table and she was begging me to stop, so afraid someone would see us.

    We have also done some cooking togther (she is trying to teach me lol) and she has seen my friends (I thought they would have an easier time accepting her if they got to know her a little better). I've finally met her father, he refused to see me before, doesn't like that his daughter is gay. The meeting was awkward, he said I didn't look lesbian, 'so why didn't I get a boyfriend'? I told him I didn't think E would appreciate me two-timing her ... o.O. Well, E thinks he will come around eventually and him seeing me at all is a big step.

    Anyway, I remember how stiff E was the first time I hugged her and now sometimes she drags me to bed just to hug. There are times I still doubt her feelings as she isn't very verbal about them but when she does some things, like cups my face and looks at me I don't doubt they are there.

    With the whole sex thing, don't think that just because you can't reciprocate, it means you're not useful to her. There are so many ways that love can be expressed. Sometimes, it won't be the way we want or expect it, but it doesn't mean it's existence isn't there.
    It's kind of weird but I have always had a problem letting others know about my favorite books, favorite movies, favorite anything. No problem talking about the books I like, books I think are good, just the favorite ones. I used to think it was shame, but I've never hesitated telling people about "trash" books I only liked. I think it's about showing the things closest to your heart, it makes you vulnerable. I feel that with sex. When we have it she obviously knows how much I want it, and that's a bit scary to me. I suppose I felt that if the sex was two way then she would also be vulnerable making us two and less embarrassing for me lol. I wanted a relationship, I got the relationship, I wanted sex, I got sex, it's intense, makes you vulnerable but it's wonderful too. Wanting something so much and then you get it, it's pretty overwhelming, feels almost dangerous.

  3. #653
    Aww. Thank you for replying.
    Although i'm just on the other side of the screen from you, I can sense that she loves you. Actions are hard to fake, especially when they don't come from the heart. I'm really happy for you as it seems that you two are on a good path- going on dates, hanging out with her family, and meeting her father. It's going to be difficult, but I say stand your ground and prove to her father that you two are in this together and love each other enough to stay together despite the disapproval of others. It's really sweet of her to also dress up for you. I can see(sense) that you really make her happy and she does things that is unlike her. I recall reading in your previous posts that she doesn't like being touched, but now you mention that she is the one who drags you into bed to hug. I think that right there, of her showing you that side of her, of her showing her emotions on that level, is showing her vulnerability. When she does things for you that you never thought she'd ever do.. that's letting her walls down. I mean, I get that for you sex is a special thing in a relationship, but I think she realizes that and she has come around to getting that far, even though it is only a one sided action. Maybe in time, she will come around to letting it be a two way thing, but for now, I think your shared love should be enough.

  4. #654
    Gold Member Wayfara's Avatar
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    Thanks for the kind words

    It's going to be difficult, but I say stand your ground and prove to her father that you two are in this together and love each other enough to stay together despite the disapproval of others.
    I wanted to make a good impression on him but I don't think he liked me that much (me being of the wrong gender), her mother really likes me though (always tells me E is lucky to have me) but it would have felt nice if he had approved of me too. I know it's kind of silly to want to be approved by the parents lol, so I try not to care that much. Anyways, from what I understand he thinks if he had been a better father E wouldn't be a lesbian so she being gay is sort of a testament to his failure as a parent, which is kind of crazy considering she gets better along with him than her mother (except for the lesbian thing), she doesn't dislike men, she just doesn't like them in that particular way.

    I recall reading in your previous posts that she doesn't like being touched, but now you mention that she is the one who drags you into bed to hug.
    She really likes hugs like do I. She isn't comfortable with other hugging her though, sticks out her arm before anyone can get close enough haha. Anyhow I think it might be a certain kind of touch she doesn't like. She says she doesn't like touch that is too much touch but I'm not exactly sure what makes a touch too much touch so I go case by case.

    I think that right there, of her showing you that side of her, of her showing her emotions on that level, is showing her vulnerability. When she does things for you that you never thought she'd ever do.. that's letting her walls down.
    I haven't really thought about it that way before but it does make sense when you put it that way

    I get that for you sex is a special thing in a relationship, but I think she realizes that and she has come around to getting that far, even though it is only a one sided action. Maybe in time, she will come around to letting it be a two way thing, but for now, I think your shared love should be enough.
    If she would let it be a two way thing I want it to be because she wants it, I want it to be for the right reasons and I'm starting to think maybe she is not wired the same way as I am so I'm scared that if she would let me touch her that way it would be to please me. I want to touch her to please her so if she would do it to please me it would kind of defeat the purpose And ultimately I want her to be comfortable, I love her and love being intimate with her either way.

    Thanks again iloveyoumorethanyouknow and sorry for not replying earlier.

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  6. #655

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    I remember reading this post around 2009 and kept on checking up on this post over the years. I am curious if you and E are still together? An update would be nice.

  7. #656
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    What was your user name then? How many accounts do you have?
    Originally Posted by pshhh
    I remember reading this post around 2009 and kept on checking up on this post over the years.

  8. #657
    Gold Member Wayfara's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by pshhh
    I remember reading this post around 2009 and kept on checking up on this post over the years. I am curious if you and E are still together? An update would be nice.
    2009 is ten years ago and this thread is 12 years old, feels like yesterday, time goes fast.

    E and I are very much together.

    I sadly have a very stressful week ahead right now but if an update is wanted I can write one in a week.

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