We officially broke up last August, which I initiated. We kept talking and seeing each other. We both felt like it was still a relationship though. At one point I said I wanted to get back together and he said he didn't want a relationship. At the end of February I decided this was becoming a really unhealthy situation for me, so I told him I needed to sort myself out. We went into LC with him mostly contacting me.
I had read a lot of post's on here and after awhile decided that I needed to go NC to fully get over him. I wrote him an email explaining where I was at, but didn't come right out and tell him I wanted NC. He contacted me less then 2 weeks later. After 7 weeks of LC I finally told him on Saturday I wanted total NC. It was a very difficult conversation as we both finally said somethings that needed to be said.
I thought I was ready for NC and had done it gradually to give me enough space to know if it was what I really wanted. It's been 4 days and I swear this is way worse then I thought it would be. Who knew? Even though I'm technically the dumper here, it's not any easier. In fact I almost find it tougher because I know if I picked up the phone and called him, he would answer and want to go back to having me in his life on a full time basis.
Why is doing the right thing for you sometimes so hard?