Whats the point of Pornography!?

Ok so I'm really young to be thinking about this, but I'm so tired of all my male friends looking at pornography!

There has been a debate for many years between couples and their therapists about whether or not viewing pornography is cheating. It's just watching sexually graphic acts some might argue, there is no contact with another "real" person. This is true, but it is also true that when someone is being aroused by the idea of another man or woman besides the one they are in a relationship with, it is considered cheating, at least in a mental state. Viewing pornography can do very little good for relationships. Besides the occasional time when both persons consent to watching it together, there really is no good that can come out of it.

First of all, most all porn is degrading to women. It is almost always of the man getting what he wants, doing what he wants and saying what he wants, with no opposition from the woman.

Secondly most of the women in these films have fake body parts, are overly made up and are acting through the entire thing.

Thirdly, all the men can go for hours and seem to do all the right things… but none of this actually happens in reality.

So the problem with pornography is that it causes unrealistic expectations in our male populations. Men become accustomed to the looks of the women they watch and expect to be able to do what ever they want. They lose respect for the women they are with and lack consideration for what she might really like or want. These women in the films give real women a bad reputation. Just because they had a bad child hood and were insecure because nobody loved them, does not mean they get to go exploit themselves to compensate for what they lack. This just messes up the minds of men and causes too many fights between too many couples.

Here is some advice to any man that reads this. Anything you think you learned through watching pornography, forget and pick up a book about sexuality or ask a real woman. Pornography is just one BIG LIE! Also, if you are in a relationship where the discussion about porn being cheating has come up, put yourself in your lady's shoes. Do you want to be another aspect of her life that belittles and disrespects her? You should honor her and show her how fabulous she really is. Ditch the porn. The things she'll do for you because of the way you make her feel will be so much more worth it in the end; much better than a cheesy video and your left hand!

So yeah! I just can't believe that even my thirteen year old friends manage to watch it! It's just discusting!

I was talking to a friend of mine about this today. I said that I wouldn't feel cheated on if a gf looked at it (some girls do), as long as the porn was made by total strangers with whom there was no real possibility of contact.

I also said this: I ABHOR 'porn star' porn where unreal-looking people for drug money, and anything that appears remotely exploitative. I only like to see the 'amateur' stuff; real people (preferably curvaceous females) who are actually horny, getting off on filming themselves getting off, and putting it on the Internet. It's a completely different world from the cookie-cutter "Oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah" crap.

Porn is fun.

Agreed, some couples have issues with it, but its not a problem with porn, its a problem with the relationship.

You say its fake... and? Its fantasy, its not supposed to be realistic. A man may like his porn to have thin blonde girls who can hump for hours and still look clean and perfect at the end... but in real life he might like chubby brunettes who get sweaty and red-faced in the sack.

I'm not a male... I like to watch porn.. I don't in any way compare it to real life boys and it certainly doesn't take the place of real life sex or boys.

i think its incredibly hot to watch it together with one's partner... and I think a lot of women ( not all!) just feel very insecure that their man is watching porn thinking "Gosh I wish my wife/ girlfriend had boobs like this!" when they aren't

Have you ever tried watching porn to get you off or with a boyfriend?

I was talking to a friend of mine about this today. I said that I wouldn't feel cheated on if a gf looked at it (some girls do), as long as the porn was made by total strangers with whom there was no real possibility of contact.

 

I also said this: I ABHOR 'porn star' porn where unreal-looking people for drug money, and anything that appears remotely exploitative. I only like to see the 'amateur' stuff; real people (preferably curvaceous females) who are actually horny, getting off on filming themselves getting off, and putting it on the Internet. It's a completely different world from the cookie-cutter "Oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah" crap.

this is my favourite type too!!!

Brilliantly said, Eva Some of us don't even bother with the Barbie girl blonde films, and go right for the materials with the chubby brunettes in them when we need some visual help in *ahem* keeping the furniture polished.

I like looking at naked porn stars but with no guys in it..

Good for you, cometcrater - you're wise far beyond your years! You're right - porn is completely degrading and exploitative to women. It causes problems in many relationships, and it's completely unnecessary.

Word of advice - don't date a guy who uses porn, since you're completely against it. It'll be a big problem in your relationship. And yes, there are many men who don't depend on porn at all - I'm married to one myself.

Excellent post!!

Good for you, cometcrater - you're wise far beyond your years! You're right - porn is completely degrading and exploitative to women. It causes problems in many relationships, and it's completely unnecessary.

 

Word of advice - don't date a guy who uses porn, since you're completely against it. It'll be a big problem in your relationship. And yes, there are many men who don't depend on porn at all - I'm married to one myself.

 

Excellent post!!

I agree with the second part of your post, that if one person like it and one person is totally against it then there are going to be problems...

But, are you saying guy shouldn't date me, because once every couple weeks or so I like to watch some amateur porn... and I get off from it? I don't want to marry or date or have a nice conversation with the people in the video.. I don't feel degraded with the porn I watch... some of it is... but some of it is just naked people having fun sex! I think it depends on the porn one watches... and as I said before it can be really sexy to watch it with your boyfriend/ husband, wife/girlfriend

Think whatever you like about pornography but it will never go away and nor should it just because you have an issue with it. Pornography has been around since writing has been around.

I did not mean for this to be a post about what type of porn you like. I was only trying to see if anyone else actually believes pornography is wrong when you are in a relationship. In my opinion, I think its fine if you and you girlfriend/boyfriend watch it together, but if your girlfriend/boyfriend disapproves of porn or they don't even know, I don't think you should be raising your expectations.

But, are you saying guy shouldn't date me, because once every couple weeks or so I like to watch some amateur porn... and I get off from it?

Well, if he's against porn, of course he shouldn't date you. That's kind of a glaring incompatibility.

If I may interject...

Yes, porn may cause problems in some relationships and none in others. Sometimes it actually FIXES problems (have a couple I know IRL that porn helped them out somehow [Don't ask, I have no idea lol])

Anyway... this thread;

is a debate over porn and how a woman feels 'bout her man, albeit, she is more concerned with the lie he created, not so much the porn... but it brings a few good points to the table as well. Read through it if you get the chance.

Word of advice - don't date a guy who uses porn, since you're completely against it. It'll be a big problem in your relationship. And yes, there are many men who don't depend on porn at all - I'm married to one myself.

I couldnt name one single man who doesnt use some form of pornography.

Outside of heavily religious men anyway.

paisley80, I'm curious to know how an anti-porn person would respond to posts #2 and #3. Can I get your thoughts on those?

I did not mean for this to be a post about what type of porn you like. I was only trying to see if anyone else actually believes pornography is wrong when you are in a relationship. In my opinion, I think its fine if you and you girlfriend/boyfriend watch it together, but if your girlfriend/boyfriend disapproves of porn or they don't even know, I don't think you should be raising your expectations.

I think you are talking about two completely different situations... If someone is hiding ANYTHING in a relationship, whether it be porn, boys nights, gold on Sunday afternoon... then there is a problem because there is a lack of communication and honesty in the relationship. And I think we can all agree that if one person like is and one person doesn't.. then there are going ot be problems... you either both need to be fine with it... or it won't work.. If both of you don't like it, then there is no problem.

You did start out saying 'porn is disgusting'

Think whatever you like about pornography but it will never go away and nor should it just because you have an issue with it. Pornography has been around since writing has been around.

I'm not saying it should be illiminated, I'm only saying if you are in a good relationship, you shouldn't have to watch porn, by yourself, to get pleasure. You should be spending time with your partner

Well, if he's against porn, of course he shouldn't date you. That's kind of a glaring incompatibility.

I haven't met a guy yet who was against porn so I guess I've been lucky!

Comet...

Real life, with your partner = Love, affection, caring, empathy... all the good stuff essential to LOVE.

Porn = A quick self-job when your sig. other isn't around to do it with you (or in some cases, for you o.O)

Pornography has been around since writing has been around.

I personally don't see what everyone's hang up is really.

I actually don't spend that much time looking at it either. I think my girlfriend probably looks at more porn then I do. And she always teases me about using it to get ideas, lol.

Like somone else said, for most people it's just fun.

I'm not saying it should be illiminated, I'm only saying if you are in a good relationship, you shouldn't have to watch porn, by yourself, to get pleasure. You should be spending time with your partner

Why can't porn just be an added dimension to your sex life with your partner?

Why can't porn just be in addition.. not 'in place ' of... I think if one person would rather watch porn RATHER than have sex with their partner their is a problem... but I certainly dont' have a problem with a guy watching porn... in fact it turns me on to watch a guy I'm with masterbate to a porn.

if this was ALL he did.. then yeah I wouldn't be sticking around.

Just because one has a partner, doesn't mean they can't watch porn once in a while too, especially when that partner isn't around and they just want to get off

Comet...

 

Real life, with your partner = Love, affection, caring, empathy... all the good stuff essential to LOVE.

 

Porn = A quick self-job when your sig. other isn't around to do it with you (or in some cases, for you o.O)

exactly!!!

... I dont' look at the tanned tattoed tripod-like guy in a porn and think "wow, i'd like to go out for dinner with him!".. bet he cooks a mean chicken stirfry and would take the kids to track practice!" When the movie is done .. so is the porn star..

Exactly shika... Swear... people acting like a guy (or girl) getting themselves of is the most evil thing ever o.O Sometimes, you just gotta do it yourself

paisley80, I'm curious to know how an anti-porn person would respond to posts #2 and #3. Can I get your thoughts on those?

Sure.

I can see where you think there'd be a difference between Jenna Jameson-style porn and amateur stuff. However, a woman filming herself getting off is still exploitative and degrading - it reduces women to sex objects, and all I can ask myself is why they'd want to allow themselves to be viewed as such - nothing but an object. Selling pictures of oneself naked or selling videos of oneself in sexual scenarios doesn't scream self-respect or high self esteem to me. To me, it's evidence of some very dark corners in her mind.

I'm not sure how you want me to respond to message #3. With all due respect to Eva it's basically just your garden variety pro-porn message. Sorry