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Thread: Why do men usually come back and not women??

  1. #1
    celene
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    Why do men usually come back and not women??

    I am not sure if people agree with me on this. But let me tell you my story. When I was 20, I was madly in love with this guy. He broke up with me because he needed space, wanted to find himseld etc. It hit me hard since I was really into him. It took me nearly a year and a half to fully get over him but when I did, I was over him, completely. I heard from friends that he was "half seeing someone" and later he got himself a "proper" girlfriend and I also heard from common friends.( we have too many!!) that he broke up with her. This was two years ago and I havent seen him for nearly five years.
    Anyways, he sends me an email a couple of months ago and I think why shouldnt I send him a reply after all its been five years, I am sure he just wants to say hi. So we start to communicate as friends or atleast that is what I thought it was till he told me how much he misses me and how much he wants to come and see me and see where this goes. My jaws dropped because I remember how much I cried and begged him to give us another chance and here he was five years later doing the same. Of course I said no and that I had truly moved on and I could see him only as a friend....but I am not the only case. A lot more guys tend to go back to past relationships than women. I think its becase We moan, we cry, we are in absolute misery but the day we move on we really move on. I dont think guys do that!! What do u think????
    Last edited by celene; 03-07-2007 at 05:39 PM.

  2. #2
    Maverick32x
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    According to some stats from a presentation I went to, Women get over men much faster than men get over women...... so ya, I believe it...

    I personally have alot of trouble completely getting over girls that I've been with..... I mean, I dont constantly call them and check up on them, but I usually will think about them from time to time.. but never act on it~

  3. #3
    Maverick32x
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    oh ya, why do i think that... well I think it has alot to do with the fact that when a girl breaks up with a guy she has her mind made up, and its for VERY diffrent reasons (usually) when a guy breaks up with a girl...

    I get the feeling that most girls break up with a guy because they truly are incompatible and its time to move on.. I get the feeling most guys break up with a girl because there is a better option.. (I know thats not always the case, but i think its more common)

  4. #4
    shes2smart
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    I've never had a relationship with a woman, so I don't have much to compare to.

    Every ex I've had where I was the one who ended the relationship has attempted to get back in touch with me post-break-up. Sometimes YEARS after we split. In once case it was long enough since our break-up and I had moved on to the point that I had met & was happily married to someone else.

    One time, the only ex I keep in touch with was listening to me whine about some other ex who had contacted me outta nowhere...and he said (partially joking, partially seriously), "We're dogs. You said 'yes' to us before, you might say 'yes' again...."

    That's always been in the back of my mind if I hear from an ex......

  5. #5
    JoeWho
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    I think that guys do that also. Maybe girls tend to do it more but I know lots of guys who were dumped and then had their ex try to come back and they said no.

    There seems to be a window of time where the person being dumped will take the dumper back regardless of gender and once that window closes it is closed for good. For me its only been six months and I am very confident that I would tell my ex to take a hike if she tried to come back.

  6. #6
    shes2smart
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    Oh, yeah...one other thought I had...

    Maybe this isn't so much about who comes back more: men/women but more about which role you had in the break-up...so who comes back more: dumper or dumpee....

  7. #7
    Locke2121
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    I've got a few personal views on a man's heart in my public journal if you want to go look.

  8. #8
    celene
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    Hey Maverik I agree with u on that point. Men dump women because they think there is a better option out there....

  9. 03-07-2007, 03:55 PM

  10. #9
    astaro
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    Quote Originally Posted by yokeydokey [Register to see the link]
    It's like a dog returning to its own vomit. Not a good idea. Go eat something fresh.
    thanks, that got a really good laugh outa me.

  11. #10
    darkpumpkin
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    hey yokeydokey harsh but true. Men know that once you said yes you might be open to saying it again. With woman I believe anyway that part of the healing is realizing it would never work and no point. Lol that's why woman are not dogs lol they know when to leave their vomit alone.

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