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Thread: What rape did to you?

  1. #11
    Member Akatea's Avatar
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    They do realise what they are doing, but most of the time, they JUST DONT CARE. Or the girl was "ASKING FOR IT" (I put this comment in asterix's cause obviously it isn't true)
    Denial is the biggest thing I had to deal with. A case of just putting it as far down as you possibly can. But speaking form experience, this only makes other aspects of your life completely stuff up. Unfortunately, these experiences do effect our day to day living, no matter how much we try to deny it to ourselves and to others...

  2. #12
    Originally Posted by Akatea
    . Unfortunately, these experiences do effect our day to day living, no matter how much we try to deny it to ourselves and to others...
    Absolutely, its been almost 5 years for me but I still have panic attacks thinking about it. I smile and try to move on with my life but honestly I dont think i'll ever get over it.

  3. #13
    Gold Member Parsley's Avatar
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    *hug* It's hardly surprising. It's just completely beyond my realms of understanding.

    There was a survey done in Britain last year or the year before, and a third of people thought that girl who dressed provocatively brought it on themselves when they got raped. When I heard that I sat for I don't know how long just gaping at the screen at the complete idiocy of a third of the population of my country.
    Last edited by Parsley; 02-18-2007 at 07:34 PM.

  4. 02-18-2007, 07:32 PM
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  5. #14
    Platinum Member Eva:Gina's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Akatea
    They do realise what they are doing, but most of the time, they JUST DONT CARE. Or the girl was "ASKING FOR IT" (I put this comment in asterix's cause obviously it isn't true)
    Denial is the biggest thing I had to deal with. A case of just putting it as far down as you possibly can. But speaking form experience, this only makes other aspects of your life completely stuff up. Unfortunately, these experiences do effect our day to day living, no matter how much we try to deny it to ourselves and to others...
    -hug- Hello love <3

    Denial is HARD... for years I thought that becuase I would have slept with them anyway if they had taken their time to be with me, that it didnt count.

    as Akatea here can vouch for, sex became a "tool" for me, as opposed to an act of intimacy, sex with feelings is too hard

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  7. 02-18-2007, 07:51 PM
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  8. #15
    Platinum Member Eva:Gina's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by applepie
    Maybe that's where my lack of trauma comes from. I didn't know the criminals, so I didn't have to feel like I was being betrayed. It's not like I enjoyed it. It just has no bearing on my life any more.

    The first time for me I was gang raped by 4 men in a park when I was 15. I was so drunk that I didn't even know what was going on. The second time I was 16 and raped by a cab driver after I'd passed out in the back seat. All I remember was trying to scratch his eyes out while he was inside of me. There were a couple of other incidents that I'm a little unsure of whether they were truly rape.

    Sometimes I feel like I should have reported the incidents, but why ruin a bunch of people's lives if mine hasn't been too badly affected?
    One of my good friends was raped and she went to the police, it was only after that, that the other victims of the scumbag came forward.

    Why should you have gone to the police? To protect others, if not yourself.

    I cant even begin to fathom what I would do if I were you.

  9. #16
    Gold Member Parsley's Avatar
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    I'd be too scared that they'd go out and ruin other people's lives. At least...I think I would. Who knows how I'd feel if I were in your position cause I clearly haven't got a clue - something for which I'm so grateful.

    *hugs*

  10. #17
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    Originally Posted by Eva 1468906
    One of my good friends was raped and she went to the police, it was only after that, that the other victims of the scumbag came forward.

    Why should you have gone to the police? To protect others, if not yourself.

    I cant even begin to fathom what I would do if I were you.
    I thought about it for a long time, but my memory is so hazey and there was no evidence. I couldn't remember faces, names or any other details. It's now been over 5 years since all that happened and there is zilch I can do about it now.

  11. #18
    Platinum Member Eva:Gina's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by applepie
    I thought about it for a long time, but my memory is so hazey and there was no evidence. I couldn't remember faces, names or any other details. It's now been over 5 years since all that happened and there is zilch I can do about it now.
    True...

    I think it would be a lot easier if it was someone I didnt know... I wouldnt have been so confused

  12. #19
    Silver Member Scotcha's Avatar
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    I was raped when I was 15 by a "friend" of mine.. This was the first time I had ever had sex too. (Though I don't consider it when I lost my virginity.)

    For a couple of years I would do anything a guy asked me to.. Not because I wanted to but because in my mind it was better to just do it than to say no and have it happen anyway. It wasn't until I met my first "real" boyfriend that I believe that there were decent guys out there.

    For years after.. Acutally, for seven years after I was raped I never had an emotional connection with someone while haveing sex. I could enjoy sex physically but on any other level it was just too hard.

    And to this day I have to have someone holding my hand when I go to the gynocologist. I cry like a baby the entire time.. Not because I believe the doctor is doing anything inappropriate but because it is not something I "want" and thereforeeee it gives me some pretty nasty flashbacks that really shake me up.

  13. #20
    Gold Member Parsley's Avatar
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    I'm so shocked at how many people I talk to and see so regularly on here have been through such a horrible experience.

    Originally Posted by Scotcha
    I was raped when I was 15 by a "friend" of mine.. This was the first time I had ever had sex too. (Though I don't consider it when I lost my virginity.)
    Scotcha, what you said has stuck with me. I studied Measure for Measure at A-level and a huge part of the moral of the story is that it's not virginity of your body that matters...it's your mind. I've read about lots of people (here and on other forums, magazines and so on) who see it as them losing their virginity and hating that that's their experience. I wish that your idea could be more widespread, as I bet it helps if only the tinest amount.

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