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Thread: Is she cheating or not? help

  1. #1
    bwyte
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    Is she cheating or not? help

    Hello everyone,

    At the moment im at work and its driving me insane about my home life.

    This morning when i looked in my wifes phone, there were messages with , sleep well, i love you. Also i looked in call register and i see long phone calls from this number. When i asked her about it , she sayt : Its someone whos harrasing me. But ini my mind i think.. why he calls u everyday?? Why for so long conversations?? If he harrases u why dont just pick up?... When i asked her later that day, give me your phone, i want to check the number to phone him up. She erased all the numbers, sayt to me.. sorry i erased them all .. i dont need those numbers. Serious im now at work, i need to do a job but i cant concentrate anymore.

  2. #2
    jengh
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    In my opinion, it sounds a little fishy. If it was someone harassing her, I would think she'd have come to you about it. And the "I love you" just doesn't seem to fit. What did she have to say about that?

  3. #3
    bwyte
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    She sayt to me, that she knew i was gona be upset if she told me bout him harrasing her. I asked her how does he have your number? She sayt i dont know, i never met the guy. All the calls have been made while i was at work. Its even more difficult for me cause even if he would call when im at home , they talk diffrent languas then me. And what i find kinda really strange, if she dont know him, he is from same country ?? And he wrote: Sleep well , love you. So how he knows shes gona sleep at that time?

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    gfein347
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    Jen has a good point. The "I love you" just doesn't seem to fit if someone is actually harassing her. What's even more out of place, though, is the long phone conversations. Though someone could keep saying "I love you" as harassment, I don't think anyone would choose to talk on the phone for long periods of time with someone that was harassing them.

  5. #5
    bwyte
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    Humnn i dont know how to find out if she is cheating or not. At the moment i feel like going home and wana make her tell me it. But i know she wont tell me anything. I really dont know what to do now. Im hoping that he phones again and she forgets to erase the number so i can call it, maybe that guy can tell me whats going on...

  6. #6
    Dako
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    If I were you, I'd ask her to level with you.
    She's putting you through hell, cheating or not.
    You shouldn't have to play detective.

  7. #7
    gfein347
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    Dako, in your opinion, does the OP have a right to look through the phone records, etc. if he feels his wife is not being honest with him?

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    FCTex
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    I think so.. With general assumption of said suspicious activities, I don't see the wrong in it. Others might.

    I used to be insecure and would look through my ex's phone years ago. It got old to her and I just did it for whatever reason I did back then.

    Nowadays, I dont look in my girlfriends phone, ever. Infact I don't recall ever opening it..

    To the OP, I think you need to sit her down and ask her to be honest. Calling this guy won't fix anything. He could lie too. How do you know they speak different languages, if you've never actually caught her on the phone talking to him?

    I'd ask her to as dako said, to level up and be honest. If you feel she can't, or feel she's ill witted about it. Do something drastic... Leave her.

  9. #9
    ILovePasta
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    To save you time and to put it to you bluntly...

    Yes, she is cheating on you. Whether it be physically, emotionally or both... you are currently sharing her with another person.

  10. #10
    Dako
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    I'm really sorry, but like ILP, I think she's cheating on you.

    I'd stay out of the phone records and simply confront her.
    Sure, she'll initially deny it, but unless she's made of stone, she'll give herself away by shaking, crying or getting irrationally angry at the accusation.
    Eventually she has to level with you.

    Hope I'm wrong, because I know it hurts.

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