27, going on 28, never married, but want to be.....

I've been looking at marriage since I was 17, getting my goals accomplished, then off to go find a woman to be married to. Well, I'm 27, not married, no kids. While a lot of other people my age are getting married and having kids. Now, my parents married when they were in their 30's and my brother WAS engaged and he's 31. It seems to me like 30's is the age when I "could" be getting married. Now, If I don't get married, oh well, I'll settle for a long term committment. It seems like the females out there my age are already married or are in long term relationships or have kids. I love kids and I want 2 of my own.

Where did all of the committed, long term relationship minded/married minded women go?

Find the right girl first. Who cares if you have to wait a little while. People are getting married a lot later then they used to.

The typical places to meet people - other than on line - are work, school (including taking classes not necesarily for a degree), community theater, volunteer work, sports activities, etc. I would ask - if you are so interested in getting married - presumably having a happy marriage - why would you get involved with a single teenage mother who was into drugs and neglected her children? Sounds to me like if you really wanted to get married and have a stable marriage, you would not choose to get involved with a person like that.

The typical places to meet people - other than on line - are work, school (including taking classes not necesarily for a degree), community theater, volunteer work, sports activities, etc. I would ask - if you are so interested in getting married - presumably having a happy marriage - why would you get involved with a single teenage mother who was into drugs and neglected her children? Sounds to me like if you really wanted to get married and have a stable marriage, you would not choose to get involved with a person like that.

^ What she said. I just gave th abreviated version.

why would you get involved with a single teenage mother who was into drugs and neglected her children?

wow!! you REALLY only think about that one girl that I was with for a bit everytime I post something, don't you??

I've been looking at marriage since I was 17, getting my goals accomplished, then off to go find a woman to be married to. Well, I'm 27, not married, no kids. While a lot of other people my age are getting married and having kids. Now, my parents married when they were in their 30's and my brother WAS engaged and he's 31. It seems to me like 30's is the age when I "could" be getting married. Now, If I don't get married, oh well, I'll settle for a long term committment. It seems like the females out there my age are already married or are in long term relationships or have kids. I love kids and I want 2 of my own.

 

Where did all of the committed, long term relationship minded/married minded women go?

I assume most of them are already taken, as you had said.

That said, friend, I know all too well where you're coming from. I've been marriage minded since I got engaged at the age of 20. Ever since, really, I've dreamed about finding a great girl, settling down and having a nice family to call my own.

And it will happen. I just need to keep searching and sooner or later, she'll be there. I am confident of this. You need to get confident that it will happen to you too.

I've been looking at marriage since I was 17, getting my goals accomplished, then off to go find a woman to be married to. Well, I'm 27, not married, no kids. While a lot of other people my age are getting married and having kids. Now, my parents married when they were in their 30's and my brother WAS engaged and he's 31. It seems to me like 30's is the age when I "could" be getting married. Now, If I don't get married, oh well, I'll settle for a long term committment. It seems like the females out there my age are already married or are in long term relationships or have kids. I love kids and I want 2 of my own.

 

Where did all of the committed, long term relationship minded/married minded women go?

I would like to drop two letter in your last sentence "women" to "men".

why would you get involved with a single teenage mother who was into drugs and neglected her children?

 

wow!! you REALLY only think about that one girl that I was with for a bit everytime I post something, don't you??

You posted a great deal and extensively about her and about the relationship - maybe I misunderstood, but judging from how many posts you wrote about her it seemed that you were serious about her. It is only natural that I would wonder now, when you claim that all you want is to settle down and have a happy marriage, why you would pick someone like that.

It DOES seem like everyone now adays is married and having kids. I know a lot of people that are between 25-30 that are still single though. The problem in todays society, is that everyone is so caught up in their own world, no one talks to each other, no one introduces themselves to people. Your best bet is to get out there, be friendly with everyone you meet. You never know when somone might have a friend, sister, niece, or granddaughter to introduce you to. Good luck.

You could either continue looking for what you want or, like a lot of people, just settle for whatever you can get and hope it turns out okay. I would recommend becoming a loner if the failure to find a girl starts to make you depressed. But I don't know if someone can just become a loner,.. or if it's wired in their brain from years of social isolation and ineptitude.

^ I disagree. I don't think anyone should settle. It causes a lot of heartache in the long run.

Settling never leads to happiness. Only heartache, loneliness and divorce. Not worth it.

It DOES seem like everyone now adays is married and having kids. I know a lot of people that are between 25-30 that are still single though. The problem in todays society, is that everyone is so caught up in their own world, no one talks to each other, no one introduces themselves to people. Your best bet is to get out there, be friendly with everyone you meet. You never know when somone might have a friend, sister, niece, or granddaughter to introduce you to. Good luck.

That might be your experience but in my 20 plus years in the dating world I have introduced many people - including many set ups and been set up/introduced to many people myself. I've always had an active social life and made an effort to be involved with various social circles, volunteer work, professional colleagues, etc. I live in one of the biggest cities in the world and I often meet strangers in elevators, waiting on line, etc. I am sorry you have such a cold/impersonal view of the world.

wow!! you REALLY only think about that one girl that I was with for a bit everytime I post something, don't you??

I know, but you have said on other posts that you tend to go for women in the 17-20 age range, not older. really, I think that is why you are having a hard time finding "marriage minded women."

It DOES seem like everyone now adays is married and having kids. I know a lot of people that are between 25-30 that are still single though. The problem in todays society, is that everyone is so caught up in their own world, no one talks to each other, no one introduces themselves to people. Your best bet is to get out there, be friendly with everyone you meet. You never know when somone might have a friend, sister, niece, or granddaughter to introduce you to. Good luck.

the thing is..I am friendly to everyone

Being friendly is a start, of course. You might want to look at your definition of "friendly" and work on listening and communication skills, which everyone can use. Also, you need to have a reasonably complete and fulfilling life to be able to share it with someone who also has a reasonably complete and fulfilling life.

Settling never leads to happiness. Only heartache, loneliness and divorce. Not worth it.

Wow! this makes me really wanna go out and be in a relationship or get married

I think it shows my age but I think of 27 as young . You have heaps of time.

There are definitely women out there who want to get married and have children, even with you!

Seriously, as the others have said, it's a matter of critically assessing the way you are coming accross and your choice of venue to meet people. If you are happy (enough) with yourself and you are putting yourself out there to some degree, you will meet someone who is right for you. The time factor is where the luck comes in. Might be tomorrow, might be next year etc.

It will happen, so enjoy yourself in the meantime!

I think it shows my age but I think of 27 as young . You have heaps of time.

 

There are definitely women out there who want to get married and have children, even with you!

 

Seriously, as the others have said, it's a matter of critically assessing the way you are coming accross and your choice of venue to meet people. If you are happy (enough) with yourself and you are putting yourself out there to some degree, you will meet someone who is right for you. The time factor is where the luck comes in. Might be tomorrow, might be next year etc.

 

It will happen, so enjoy yourself in the meantime!

I'm trying to

actually, lots of those people you see now are on their 'starter' marriage and will be available again very shortly!

i don't mean to be flippant, but lots of people marry when they are young and not fully formed in their ideas, then divorce around 30 and are looking again... so from what i can see, you just missed your starter marriage, and can go straight into a mature marriage rather than a trial one...

keep looking, keep dating, weed out women who are not appropriate, and you will find someone... it only takes one, and marrying in your 30s just means you will be married 35 years at age 72, rather than 40 (and maybe only one marriage rather than two or more!)... drop in the bucket you see, so enjoy and keep looking...

I've been looking at marriage since I was 17, getting my goals accomplished, then off to go find a woman to be married to. Well, I'm 27, not married, no kids. While a lot of other people my age are getting married and having kids. Now, my parents married when they were in their 30's and my brother WAS engaged and he's 31. It seems to me like 30's is the age when I "could" be getting married. Now, If I don't get married, oh well, I'll settle for a long term committment. It seems like the females out there my age are already married or are in long term relationships or have kids. I love kids and I want 2 of my own.

 

Where did all of the committed, long term relationship minded/married minded women go?

I think marriage in itself is nothing more then a piece of paper that is very expensive to get rid off if it doesn't work out. Being on the spouses health insurance is about one of the only perks and joint tax returns. I will never get married too fast again. Make sure you are with tha tperson quite literally for years, live with them and play house. Because ill tell you honestly if you don't something funny is going to happen after you tie the knot. Peole cheat, little things get on your nerves and family members, your sister, mother father etc all start to paint a picture and it will suck big time if they all don't like each other. Make sure you actually realize taht there is no one else in th eworld you would rather spend your time with. You get along very well and have things in common. You have similiar friends and taste in friends.

Life is too short ti live and be with someone you don't truly want to be with or love to death. The person you merry literally, has to be your BEST FRIEND! You can tell anything and everything to and not have to worry about the consequences of your actions. Also sexually they have to be what you want, any of these areas that are caught lacking after your married will turn into bomb fires. 50 percent or even higher now divorce rate. It's rediculous so be very very careful.

All these things i wish I would of gotten when I got married haha, no joke.

try going out by yourself. i know that sounds stupid, but it works. chicks dig that for some reason. trust me. i've done it a few times. reward yourself for an accomplishment by buying yourself a drink. it displays confidence and women love that. they will be drawn in. or go to a library. public of course. lots of hotties reading.

......................................................................................................................................................................................

try going out by yourself. i know that sounds stupid, but it works. chicks dig that for some reason. trust me. i've done it a few times. reward yourself for an accomplishment by buying yourself a drink.

I agree with this.

I do not agree because bars are only one place to meet women, they tend to be dark, crowded, noisy and often the women are buzzed/drunk and not really the best place to meet women who are marriage minded. Why not go to lectures, seminars, wine tastings, ballroom dancing lessons, hikes, get involved in community theater (front or backstage), take photography classes, go to art gallery or museum tours, go to link removed and see what you can join in on . . . on your own.

thanks bat for blasting my reply. did you read the rest? i said library. i'm just putting some real world situations in there as it sounds this person doesn't have much experience. thanks for listing all of the boring last resort places to meet somebody though. this is a young guy, he doesn't need wine tasting. women that say "drunk women" "dark" "crowded" blah blah, never open themselves up for a good time. too sheltered. not all places are dark, crowded, and everybody is wasted. such a stereotype. nice line. who are you to say what is marriage material and what isn't? people meet in bars and end up married for 40+ years. it happens. people meet online, in libraries, so what. place doesn't matter. if you put yourself out there and attempt to meet people, that is the start of everything no matter where you are.

.......................................................................................................................................................................................