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Thread: why does he call if he's not interested?

  1. #1
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    Question why does he call if he's not interested?

    i've been talking to this guy for almost 2 months. he had been kinda distant for the last 2 weeks. he still called me every day, but our convos were really short and not that great. so i asked him wat was going on and if he was still into me. he said he just wanted to be friends and didnt want to date anyone til he was completely over his ex. anyway, i was heart broken. i really liked him. and i told him i didn't think i could be his friend because of how i felt. anyway, he's been calling me still and i havent been answering. he left a vmail saying good morning and that he hoped to talk to me soon. is it possible that the still likes me? cuz why would he bother to call if he wasn't into me anymore?

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    insofar
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    Maybe he does still like you but doesn't want to hurt you because he's not yet over his ex.

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    itsallgrand
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    Possible reasons:
    He's horny.
    He's lonely.
    He really just wants to be your friend in a blink like that.

    He's horny.

    Or, yeah, he likes you and is torn on whether to go for it or not, back n forth, because of his ex.

    Or he's horny.

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    Kalika
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    I think you're doing the right thing by not answering. It's not fair of him to keep you exactly at arms length and expect you to be okay with that. Maybe if he calls again, you could just gently remind him to respect your wishes as you've respected his (by not chasing after him when he's not ready). That's only something you should do if you feel compelled to answer, and keep the convo very, very short. Or else, just keep doing what you're doing

    As to why he's still calling, it could be simply the comfort of knowing someone wants him that he's hanging on to. It sounds like if you went back to him, though, he'd still be going back and forth.. so if he wants more time, by all means let him have it, but he shouldn't expect you to be waiting for him.

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    cpc28655
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalika [Register to see the link]
    I think you're doing the right thing by not answering. It's not fair of him to keep you exactly at arms length and expect you to be okay with that. Maybe if he calls again, you could just gently remind him to respect your wishes as you've respected his (by not chasing after him when he's not ready). That's only something you should do if you feel compelled to answer, and keep the convo very, very short. Or else, just keep doing what you're doing

    As to why he's still calling, it could be simply the comfort of knowing someone wants him that he's hanging on to. It sounds like if you went back to him, though, he'd still be going back and forth.. so if he wants more time, by all means let him have it, but he shouldn't expect you to be waiting for him.
    I agree with this completely. I would add that you should also tell him that what he is doing is a little bit cruel and cold-hearted, even though it is most likely unintentional.

  6. #6
    rnorth
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    I think that some of the advice here is a bit on the tough side. I am actually a big believer in second chances....sometimes even third chances.... I know others have been hurt this way but its the eternal optimist in me.

    Next time he calls, ask him directly why he continues to call if he's not into getting involved?

    My guess is that he is interested but that he initially told you the truth with regards to his ex. But you can only find out if you ask him.

  7. #7
    Batya33
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    He keeps calling because you are willing to take his calls even though he doesn't want to date you and he finds it fun to talk to you and an ego boost because he knows you are interested in him.

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