10 Years Apart...

Hi everyone,

Hmm, where should I start? Well, first of all, I'm 18, and I think I may be interested in a guy who is about 10 years older than me. He and I have a lot in common and on several occasions when we were in the same room, I was told that he "keeps looking at me". We both have similar interests and a similar taste in music, and I get really shy when talking to him. My mother has told me that he and I look at each other the same way when we talk, with that shy, lovestruck look. She thinks he's adorable and a great guy (as does everyone else) and she wishes he was a few years younger for me, however, when bringing up the topic about dating him she says to wait a couple years and see what happens. However, she doesn't seem as totally turned off from the idea of me dating him now, than she would be with any other guy. He is a great guy with a great sense of humor, is sweet, and straight edge, like I like.

I don't know, I guess what I'm asking is... what are your thoughts about this whole thing? Do you think it'd be wrong for this kind of relationship to take place? Do you think he (or someone of his age) would think it's sick and preposterous to date someone my age? Please tell me your thoughts, what you think might be going through his head, etc, etc. And if you have any questions, feel free to ask and I'll try my best to answer them.

Thank you!

Just thought I'd pop in to say, you should follow your heart.

And to call to your attention to this post, - that is on a similar topic.

I agree with your mom, wait a few years and see what happens. 10 years is a huge age gap when you are 18, but when you get older it won't seem as significant. When I was 18, I was dating someone 13 years older than me. I didn't live at home and managed to keep it from my parents, so I didn't have the family support you have. However, I think having family support wouldn't have made things much better. He was older, in a different point in his life, and kinda rushing me to be at the same point. I was starting college and he was talking about marriage and stuff and our timelines just didn't mesh. Then, whenever I had to make any decisions (classes to take, internships to accept, etc), he felt he knew better because he'd experienced more. I wish I'd made more decisions for my self, had time to grow up on my own... I'm not complaining, we broke up, he married someone else, and I married someone else, but still... I think if I'd been older when I met him, things would've been a lot different.

Thank you guys for the advice and suggestions.

Do you think it is possible though for someone his age to be into someone my age? Well...obviously it must be if it's happened with other people, right? But do you think it'd be rare?

No, I dont think its that rare at all. ALOT of guys like much younger girls, unfortunately its often for the wromg reasons. Im not saying it is thr reason for the guy you speak of, but be carefull!! I thinkit would be wise to wait. You are at an age where you should be focusing on yourself and exploring different avenues. Many times when young people ( older people too) get involved in a serious relationship, they loose track of aspirations they have for themselves and become all about that guy. I know, I did it. Its easy to do. So, if you do get involved, stay focused on yourself, and take things slow.

Thank you, anggrace, that's good advice. I'll certainly watch out for that kind of thing.

im 18 and my boyfriend is 28...we've been together 1 year tomorrow.i thought the same thing when i first started talking to him...how can he be intrested in someone 10 yrs younger but guess what..he was. try it out, its not that rare

i think 10 years is not an insurmountable difference, but you are at different life stages, unless you are extremely mature, and he is immature for his age... he has been out of his teens for almost ten years, and i presume living on his own etc., whereas you have not really had lots of experiences that people go through at your age, school, college, dating lots of people to find out what it means to be in a relationship...

you might try out a period of being friends before jumping into a relationship, and talk up front about how dating might not be a good idea until you see whether this is just an attraction, or both of you have something that might develop into someone more... sometimes those attractions are sincere and can develop into a lifetime commitment, and other times it is an older guy surfing for a naive girl to take advantage of... so at a minimum you should be friends for quite a while before date to see what he is about, and take other people's considerations/advice into account (like your mother's)...