Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 25

Thread: Arranged Wedding - The First Night Being Together

  1. #1
    mysteryman22
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    33

    Arranged Wedding - The First Night Being Together

    Just wondering what you would do.

    Scenario:

    You are getting married to a lady who you have only seen pictures of and heard stories about from family members. You are getting warm to her. You have had a prior relationship and it did not work out and so you know this will be the best, both religion, culture and personal self. She is nice, warm hearted and you know she is safe (i.e. trustworthy). You both have not met (yet) but you ache to meet her.

    On comes the wedding, which is done in a foreign country as that is where she is based (after marriage you will arrange for her to come back to the UK). Anyway, You both sit next to each other for the first time in the wedding reception (due to religion, culture etc). You both are happy, but at the same time nervous. Moving quickly on. Now comes the time when everyone else leaves, the wedding music dies down, the last conversations of the day end with relatives and you two (bride and groom) are sent to your decorated room (large bed, flowers, warm etc etc). It is THE WEDDING NIGHT, the "honey moon" so to speak. You don't know each other etc.

    What would you do? You have waited for this time for a long time. You know that the first time you have sex you want it to be special but you also dont know this lady fully, you dont know what she expects but you know that she is shy and that she will not say "lets have sex, or why didnt we have sex etc". You know that she will be a virgin too, due to religion, culture etc. So she may not be fully sexually aware as you are. You also dont want to upset her, do disappoint her -you dont know if she would be expecting to have sex tonight (wedding night). You want her to be happy. You want her to have everything you would want. She is afterall now your wife.

    What would you do? Again, would you wait, just talk and get to know each other and once you go on a "true" honey moon somewhere have great sex?

    Again lol what would you do.
    Last edited by mysteryman22; 01-21-2007 at 11:22 AM.

  2. #2
    zerohalo
    zerohalo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    312
    Gender
    Male
    That is a really unusual question. If I had just met my uh... wife... I would most definitely not want to have sex on that first night. I can't even believe the amount of stress I would be feeling, not to mention what she would be feeling. I'd probably want to talk to her a little bit, find out what her favorite food/drink is and get that from room service just to make her feel more comfortable, then keep getting to know her.

    I really don't think sex would be on my plate for a while, I might not even like this woman. I've gotta know, why do you ask? Are you in this situation or are we talking hypothetical?

  3. #3
    Boughs
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    759
    I don't think that the other party would want/expect sex. If it were me, I'd stay up all night drinking and talking to her to really get to know her. If things started moving, I'd make a move... otherwise I'd go "im tired, i'm out"

  4. #4
    HellFrost666
    HellFrost666's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Planet Marclar
    Posts
    2,024
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by zerohalo [Register to see the link]
    That is a really unusual question. If I had just met my uh... wife... I would most definitely not want to have sex on that first night. I can't even believe the amount of stress I would be feeling, not to mention what she would be feeling. I'd probably want to talk to her a little bit, find out what her favorite food/drink is and get that from room service just to make her feel more comfortable, then keep getting to know her.

    I really don't think sex would be on my plate for a while, I might not even like this woman. I've gotta know, why do you ask? Are you in this situation or are we talking hypothetical?
    I tought the saem thing exactly... There should be some conection first before you go jumping in the sack.

    My girlfriend works with a guy from India who just went over there to be married to a stranger.

  5. #5
    poloplayer
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    1,029
    Hi,

    Well it looks like the hardest compatibility battles are done:

    both religion, culture and personal self
    But since you don't know her, I'd say make a connection and build a relationship first, but if you guys really hit it off on day 1 then why not?

  6. #6
    gfein347
    Bronze Member gfein347's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    A state of confusion and indecision
    Posts
    175
    Gender
    Male
    Well, if it were me, I'd do everything I could to avoid being in this situation to begin with. However, if it somehow happened, sex wouldn't be on my mind for awhile. I don't think there's anyway I could have sex with someone I barely know.

    Also, I was thinking the same thing as Halo: is this hypothetical, or are you facing a situation like the one in your question?

  7. #7
    quietgrl

    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    finally moving from Ca. Yes!!!
    Posts
    1,275
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by gfein347 [Register to see the link]

    Also, I was thinking the same thing as Halo: is this hypothetical, or are you facing a situation like the one in your question?

    Is this a real life situation?

  8. 01-21-2007, 03:10 PM

  9. #8
    charley

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Northwestern USA
    Age
    49
    Posts
    946
    Gender
    Male
    Not sure. I might want to date my new wife for a while first. You don't have to do it the first night. There's no rule that says so.

    One of my Cambodian friends had an arranged marriage and both he and his wife were virgins and they were both freaked out and scared about the wedding night. They were acquaintances at least. Not total strangers. It seems like a frightening scenario and all to real for millions of people around the world.

    They got through it somehow. Their first night? I don't know. I never asked and I never will.

    My cousins are so proper that they probably all had to deal with something similar to this on their wedding night. i.e. - never touched each other before, well not beyond holding hands or a hug. Some of them picked their marriage partners, but others were picked by their father (a preacher). Yipes. However, they did at least know each other well before getting married and they all had veto power to the marriage, and some used it too.
    Last edited by charley; 01-21-2007 at 04:24 PM.

  10. #9
    quietgrl

    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    finally moving from Ca. Yes!!!
    Posts
    1,275
    Gender
    Female
    Wow, it's hard to believe arrange marriage are still around.

  11. #10
    zerohalo
    zerohalo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    312
    Gender
    Male
    I know what you mean, grl. I recently became aware that they still exist and I was very surprised.

  12.  

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Top Threads
Wife and I have sex but she doesn't need/want the passion.
My wife and I have been together for several years and love each other very much. We do lots of stuff together and give each other our space when
Sex with no strings..
Since leaving my partner i have felt VERY sexually frustrated. I really don't want to be in a relationship for quite some time. I need my own space
Trying to become sexually attracted to nice guy
Well..... not sure if anyone experienced this before.... Im with someone, whom is a bit older, real nice guy, not the smartest, but still sweet. Im
Is this normal?
Hi, I am a male (21) who has been with my girlfriend (21) for 3 years. Relationship wise we are very happy, we live 20 minutes away from each
Afraid to have sex
My bf and I have been together for about 2 years. There's a bit of an age gap between us and he was recently separated when we started seeing
Featured Threads
My (ex?) girlfriend has anorexia and it probably destroyed our relationship - what to do?
Hello. I would like to tell my story. I am a 22 year-old male dating an 18 year-old female, though we have probably broken up today. This is
Question about how I should handle the finances in my marriage
I recently married my bf of 5 years and we are expecting a baby early next year. Since then I've found out some rather disturbing things about his
married now found out she cheated while we were dating Im so confused help
We have been married 2 years and dated a long time before we were married (16yrs) 5 years into our relationship my wife , then gf went on a cruise
Wanting To Be With Loved One In After-Life
Has anyone who has ever lost a loved one with whom they were extremely close and loved dearly ever thought about taking his/her own life so as to be
Does everyone have some positive qualities?
Since the day I had been dumped (got dumped in April and after all the failed efforts to reconcile, accepted his decision in mid July). I feel I am a
I it wrong to date my sister's ex boyfriend?
My sister was dating a guy for two month, and me and her bf start being friends until they broke up.....i have feelings for him and he also loves me
She left me because she thinks I'm dumb
I have been in relationship with this girl and moved to her country 3 months ago and lately things are going pretty bad and she is seeking for a
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •