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Thread: Why do women overreact?

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    bigheart09
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    Question Why do women overreact?

    Why do you think women overreact in situations when it comes to their SO? I feel myself constantly overreacting and analyzing certain situations in my relationships. I have gotten much better, but I feel that many women do this. Are you one of them? Why do we do this?

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    HellFrost666
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    I can't say for sure because I am male, but I think women are more emotional beings and they don't see it as "over reacting."

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    RooferGirl23
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    We all have insecurities, about anything, and we always worry about loosing the SO. But the sad reality is that when we over analyze, it can destroy what we are trying so hard to preserve. I guess its our womanly mothering instinct to protect and worry.

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    JimmerJammer
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    Depends on what you mean by overreacting. Many think that because a girl is emotional that she is overreacting when in fact its because she wants her man to not be a jack@ss (pard the language for the sensitive). I mean countless times guys put their boundaries into their SO making it out like the woman's choices are wreckless, foolish and shouldn't be made by them. As if its his right to be mad at her when she gets upset over this . Then overreacting is out of the picture in my opinion.

    I personally feel that a woman's reaction is a clear sign of what is going on inside and many times guys look at it instead of through it. I also feel that I appreciate a woman for her being able to do this as it allows her to be a woman instead of trying to contain it like society wants. If a man isn't strong enough to handle this and know what do, then understand that he can't be the right man as he shouldn't be so stubborn about it.

    That's my two cents. If needed, please elaborate on your definition of overreacting.

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    bigheart09
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    JimmerJammer, that is an interesting point of view.

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    LostInMyThoughts
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    I use to think of it as women overreacting, but then I learned to try and read deeper into what is going on.

    The other day, I was playing hard-to-get, and my gf felt completely rejected, and started crying hyserically. Now, on the surface that is a total overreaction, but it seems like deep down, she has a real problem with rejection for whatever reason.

    I'm a lot more forgiving with my gf for overreacting than I had been with previous gf's; and I also try not to make them feel bad for overreacting. Of course she behaves in a way that I'm uncool with, I try to talk to her about it later, when we're both more rational.

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    renaissancewoman101
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    I think women overreact because they are more self-conscious about stuff and worry about what their SO thinks of them and all that. Women also are more emotional and men sometimes don't think before they do things.

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    caro33
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    I agree that women tend to react emotionally more than men do. There are always exceptions, but the 'women are more emotional' has fitted my own experience.

    I think it comes down to hormonal differences and our brain wiring. Also cultural acceptance.

    My theory is: Men do not have the hormonal shifts that we do, they stay even and stable. Women, on the other hand, tend to go through hard times of feeling bad due to hormones (eg PMT), and it makes us question things 'why do I feel so bad? Could it be X'? It may be that our female hormones even promote this stype of thinking more than the testosterone in men. It means that we are generally more aware of our feelings, and we also tend to analyse things more. We then reinforce our own negative thought pathways by thinking about things. Men repress more I think; they then get taken by surprise at key points in their lives when it all hits at once, like the archetypal mid-life crisis.

    Further, women are also far more adept at reading indirect communication than men. That whole thing of women having a 6 lane information superhighway for processing body language and verbal cues, whereas men have a country lane. Neuroscience types are actually saying this now, supporting what many of us always thought. Men really don't have the capacity to guess what we're feeling the way we think they should. So while many men remain blithely oblivious to what someone might have actually been communicating with their tone of voice and body gestures, many women are tying themselves up in knots thinking about what those behaviours really meant, and analysing the situation.

    Then there's the cultural stereotypes. I am in Australia, and in Australia the male gender is not supposed to share feelings. It makes them very uncomfortable to talk with other men about their emotions, and they don't seem very adept at it. I assume this is not just Australia that has this. So while the women are off comparing notes about what it really meant when our guys did not notice our haircuts etc, and we are kicking ourselves for our own insecurity and blaming our childhoods, the men are actually just quietly contemplating the cricket score and wondering why we've gone quiet.

    Like I said, there are always exceptions, and I think many of them are here on ENA, as they would be given its nature. But the above is what I think I have experienced.

    *By the way, I used the term 'more emotional' rather than 'overreacting' to avoid the value judgement, but I do mean the same thing when it comes down to it.
    Last edited by caro33; 01-18-2007 at 06:00 PM.

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    CarnelianButterfly
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    I don't think its all women that over react. Women may cry or get up set, but I see a lot of guys over react by becoming violent or angry. I think it might be the individual has poor self control or there are other deeper issues. But its not only a female problem, men do it just as much.

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    anggrace
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    Quote Originally Posted by CarnelianButterfly [Register to see the link]
    I don't think its all women that over react. Women may cry or get up set, but I see a lot of guys over react by becoming violent or angry. I think it might be the individual has poor self control or there are other deeper issues. But its not only a female problem, men do it just as much.
    Good point! My ex would get angry and annoyed very easily! I, on the other hand, will cry or feel sad easily. So really, it can go both ways. It just seems foreign to you because it is not what you do.

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