Retroactive Infidelity.

Luke,

What you need to do is just find a woman who believes in the same values as you do or least will respect or support it(waiting for sex). A woman who doesn't is going to whisper in your ear and tell you to forget about your values.I think you're being tested right now and that's why you're posting these threads

Luke if you believe in waiting for the right woman to lose your virginity then get your butt out there and find that woman.There are alway going to be women who will and won't date a virgin man.There will alway be women who will and won't value virginity.What do you believe is the answer to those question luke because however that you answer these question is your answer.

What I don't get is what your parents have to do with this when you are a 30 year old man!

On November 27th, 2006, a casual hookup was arranged at someone from adultfriendfinder to meet her at some mall. She called in the afternoon to confirm, and I was going to meet her later. She seemed to have an attractive tone of voice, but yet seemed sort of 'air-headed' for some reason.

I was working with my dad cutting a tree down in a landscaping contract and had a father and son chat about what I was doing. When it was time to confirm the appointment my dad discouraged me away from it, because a stranger could be full of STD's and all sorts of diseases, especially if she has a long list of testimonies of men from the site that are writing about experiences with her.

My dad instead offered to arrange a hook-up with one of his friends, 40 y/o, and set something up there and pushed hard to distract me from proceeding with that hook-up. Thus it was aborted.

I want to illustrate that my parents are like friends, my dad took the role of a best friend and dissuaded me from proceeding with a casual hook-up, where if anything did happen, it would have been in my car, beneath a restaurant table or in a public washroom. But, my dad is like my best friend here.

The bottom line, is if I wanted to proceed with the casual hook-up, I could have used the Real-Estate agent excuse, gone to my office, pretend to take out a client to show homes, but in the mean time, I'm following a casual hookup while my parents think I'm showing homes. When it comes down to it, I could really get around my parents if I wanted to.

An alternate conclusion was ultimately made concerning the potential casual hookup on November 27 - I wasn't ready to lose my virginity and risk contracting STD's with a random stranger, and furthermore it's totally anti-thetical to long held deep convictions, and it also appears to test my own convictions with regards to holiness and sexual purity in the crudest way possible. My parents really had nothing to do with anything:

- I communicated with people on the internet for casual hookups.

- I paid money to sex-adult websites.

- I had definate arrangements and confirmations of serious women who wanted to hookup with me.

If I really wanted to lose my virginity last November, I would have lost it four times over. I pissed a friend I meet from the incel board - if I were in her good books, I may have lost it five times over.

The point of the exercise was to test the level of choice I have to lose my virginity or if I'm "Involuntary Celibate", and what I would do given a choice to lose my virginity in a definate casual hookup. The result is that it's not an emotionally stable arrangement with me, and I will always end up going to people for moral support on something that is likely morally bankrupt.

So, my parents keep things at bay so long as I'm dependent on them for moral support.

Luke,

What you need to do is just find a woman who believes in the same values as you do or least will respect or support it(waiting for sex). A woman who doesn't is going to whisper in your ear and tell you to forget about your values.I think you're being tested right now and that's why you're posting these threads

 

Luke if you believe in waiting for the right woman to lose your virginity then get your butt out there and find that woman.There are alway going to be women who will and won't date a virgin man.There will alway be women who will and won't value virginity.What do you believe is the answer to those question luke because however that you answer these question is your answer.

I agree! Go out and find that woman!

Luke,

What you need to do is just find a woman who believes in the same values as you do or least will respect or support it(waiting for sex). A woman who doesn't is going to whisper in your ear and tell you to forget about your values.I think you're being tested right now and that's why you're posting these threads

Tested for what?

Yeah, maybe it's a chemistry dynamic with some women, or maybe it's the set-up I have that has made me feel emasculated where I'm living off my parents and my mom seems to be in charge, and this sort of rubs off when I'm meeting/dating some other women or something.

Tested for what?

 

Yeah, maybe it's a chemistry dynamic with some women, or maybe it's the set-up I have that has made me feel emasculated where I'm living off my parents and my mom seems to be in charge, and this sort of rubs off when I'm meeting/dating some other women or something.

yeah, a HUGE reason why you need to move out!!!!! I would totally date a guy who is a virgin, but I wouldn't date a guy who lived with his parents (unless they were invalids) or he was saving money to buy his own place, in the very near future.

Ok, ok, ok...I'm wasting God's time here posting about nonsense, I know I have to go out and find the right woman.......but I think it will be difficult to find - unless of course God has preordained at some definate point of time we will cross paths. It's one of those things, you have to do some work to find something, rather than wait for someone to fall right in your lap I suppose.

I'm unable to move apart from my parents at this time - but yet, there is another agent at my office who claimed to be successful after moving out. He said he was more motivated to make deals when his back was against the wall and he had to make deals to survive.

Ok, ok, ok...I'm wasting God's time here posting about nonsense, I know I have to go out and find the right woman.......but I think it will be difficult to find - unless of course God has preordained at some definate point of time we will cross paths. It's one of those things, you have to do some work to find something, rather than wait for someone to fall right in your lap I suppose.

yeah, I mean, she's not going to just knock on your door one day! (unless she is the pizza delivery girl!)

take those dancing lessons you wanted, go to the gym, dress better. do volunteer work, join a church social group. Think about the characteristics you would like your future wife to have, and then think about where you would meet her. ie, is she a reader? join a book club. Is she religious? join a church group and attend regularly.

What are the 10 characterisitics you want your future wife to have? really think about it!

Or go to link removed, that's where it started with my relationship and well basically keep searching for the woman you want.

yeah, a HUGE reason why you need to move out!!!!! I would totally date a guy who is a virgin, but I wouldn't date a guy who lived with his parents (unless they were invalids) or he was saving money to buy his own place, in the very near future.

I somewhat agree with the living with parents things..but still to me ..I wouldn't be able to date a virgin guy....

I look at the whole picture when living with parents...if someone had NEVER lived out of their parents homes then I think thats a totally different story than people who have to go back temporarily.. I can think of many many people who've moved back into their parents homes, when they've either broken up with a partner, gone back to school, moved back after living overseas, moved apartments and waiting to find a more suitable one... plan on moving away in 6 months or less and its hard to find a place and get set up for only a few months, somewhere to stay while looking for a new apartment/ house.. There are many reasons why people may move back in with the parents for a short term.

I actually met a guy recently who is in his thirties... but has been living in china for 3 years, and then in Europe for two.. and moved back about 6months ago and is looking for a decent apartment.. but the city I live in has a 2% vacancy rate.. I think that is a different situation

I don't think living with parents for a short time is that bad... but I do think when parents control their 30-something ( or even twenty-something) children's thoughts then thats a problem.

I'm just concerned with Luke, that he has NEVER left the confines of his parents home ( is that true?)

i think its great that Luke has a great best-friend relationship with his father... but in a situation like this.. I think living on his own.. or with roommates would greatly help the other areas of his life

(QG is pushing luke out the front door and we're walking down the street)Do you see any women yet.

Luke don't use the "i'm living at home"excuse anymore.I want you to get your butt out there man.What you need to do is take a woman out for coffee and just talk .How about talking to women at churches or at work again.

I've known you for a long time Luke and you keep going back and forth on your virginity commitment.You're a religious man and you should know about being tested in life.Sometimes god or who ever test us to see how commited we are to certain things.luke that's what you need to figure out right now what you want.You're letting society negativity about male virginity doubt yourself and your commitment to waiting for the right woman. What you need to do is block those negative voices,get your butt out there,have fun meeting women in a nonsexual way and just enjoy the moment.

Luke if losing your virginity with the right woman is your goal stick by it and fight for it don't give up.We have so many virgins giving up on this belief as i speak so be proud of yourself that your sticking to what you believe in.

I can tell you there are women out there waiting for you and your late.

yeah, a HUGE reason why you need to move out!!!!! I would totally date a guy who is a virgin, but I wouldn't date a guy who lived with his parents (unless they were invalids) or he was saving money to buy his own place, in the very near future.

Same here and I wouldn't date a man who was living with his parents to save money to buy his own place (a man over 28 or so, that is) - my exceptions would be a family emergency that was temporary or some other very temporary situation (like his house was being renovated), etc.

Just wanted to chime in and agree with Batya and Annie - it's the living at home with your parents that would be a problem for me, not the virginity thing.

I think 2007 could be the year you change your life!