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"I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad...


dil

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the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had" - Mad World by Tears for Fears (great song)

 

Anywho, I'm new to this forum.

 

I'm here because I'm a shy person who fails at finding the right person on the verge of giving up entirely. Even though I'm shy, I still have alot of pride, and this also adds to me not being able to find a guy. I think I'm kinda scary.

 

I used to be extremely shy, I'm not so much anymore, but I still have this problem of finding the right guy. I guess I have problems connecting with people, I'm a real dork. No, not those pretend dorks that you see that are 'cool' these days. I actually get my rocks off on finding philosophers on the internet and starting arguments with them. this is what I do to pass the time.

 

I know I'm not bad-looking, you can see that from my avatar, I'm pretty cute looking and all. But I live a bit of an isolated life I guess. School, bus, home, internet, school, bus home internet. I got hit on once in a bar in mexico (I was 17..and snuck in with some mexican girlfriends of mine), and I totally was weirded out. I didn't know what to do, so I was a bit of an * * * to the guy. Yeah, I didn't realize that people actually hit on other people in bars and I didn't realize he was hitting on me until later. And then I felt like an * * *. (wow..they don't let you say a ss ? )

 

So I rarely get hit on anyways, because I come off as 'the shy girl' or antisocial or whatever thehell people think. And to top it all off, I have this horrible one-sided love thing going on. I'm almost afraid to even like people after a couple of those damaging experiences. It was so bad I wanted to become lesbian.

 

so that's my history of disaster...onto the current thing..geesh, sorry about this rambling post.

 

I'm in university now, found someone who actually shares my interests and I'm completely head over heels. And I feel this is going to end badly because I am, because whenever I like someone it always ends badly. I don't even know how to flirt. I think he likes me enough, but I don't know. He used to message me alot on msn, but he hasn't been doing that lately, and I'm afriad he stopped liking me or something, or I am just over-reacting like I usually do. (breathe)

 

I don't understand what about myself that is such a turnoff for guys. I don't think it's my looks, but that would mean I have an utter failure of a personality. I get hit on once a year. It's pretty sad and pathetic.

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Wecome to the Monkey House.

 

You seem pretty well-adjusted for an 18 yo dork.

What many young people don't seem to grasp is that social skills are learned not from TV, films or books, but by interacting with people in the meat puppet world. Practice on this fellow you itch for, and you'll get limited feedback to show progress.

I'd suggest gradually putting yourself into uncomfortable situations to develop a social vocabulary.

 

I'ts fun once you learn to dogpaddle.

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I'm not a dork because I can't talk..., I just have weird interests (finding anarchists on the internet). That's all...but he shares the same interests as me..so there's hope right?

 

and I'm paranoid he's just playing me (he doesn't seem that shy and can talk to other girls with ease) And part of me says to just let go. Part of me says: "You wont find another one"....and I'm..sad. And...oh what's the use.

 

-a fool for love.

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If you go after this guy, what might happen that's so bad? If he's smoother around other girls, he must think you're different...maybe special. He may be pushing buttons to get a reaction.

A shy anarchist-baiter like you should go after what you want.

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If you go after this guy, what might happen that's so bad? If he's smoother around other girls, he must think you're different...maybe special. He may be pushing buttons to get a reaction.

A shy anarchist-baiter like you should go after what you want.

 

Well, I'm not an anarchist, I'm a few steps removed from one, I'm a libertarian. Yeah, he may be playing hard to get..but le sigh...

 

The worse thing that can happen is rejection I suppose, but that'd require me to ask him out first, and that's not going to happen. I'm determined to not have a one-sided thing again.

 

I think I have dysfunctional romance problems..want to punch him out and kiss him at the same time. Oh I've got it, hate him for being too attractive. There we go.

 

See! violent outbursts..scary...But I'm way too small to do any sort of damage...geesh, small asian kid.

 

-if a girl hits a guy would he be scared off? or would that be cute? (like a punch to the arm or something)

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I think it's endearing to be hit my tiny ladies if it's above the waist.

Don't underestimate how some guys appreciate a woman's intellect.

Drives some of us wild.

No foolin.

 

REALLY? The intellect? That's precisely what I thought drove guys away from me...

 

-and I'm picky with guys, but I don't think I can afford to be picky

 

Yeah, he might like me because I'm 'smart'... (I can hope....) this is terrible, feel so open to new pain.

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