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Thread: Children of Cheating Parents

  1. #41
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    Originally Posted by errhead18
    1. Which parent cheated?
    my mother
    2. What happened to your parents' marriage?
    nothing yet, my father doesn't know.
    3. What were your feelings on what was happening?
    I'm absolutely devastated.
    4. Did you ever know about the affair before it was known to your parent who was not cheating? What did you do?
    yeah. my dad doesn't have a clue to my knowledge. i haven't said anything to either of them yet. i dont know what to do!
    5. Did you forgive your cheating parent or not?
    its too early to tell.
    6. Have/would you ever had an affair?
    i'm only 17.
    I've got a 16 year old daughter. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

    I don't have any specific advice, but I think it might make you feel better if you were to talk with a counselor or priest or someone about this. This is a terrible burden for someone your age to be carrying around.

    Good luck to you.

  2. #42
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    1. Which parent cheated?
    my mother

    2. What happened to your parents' marriage?
    I don't know if my step father was aware or not.

    3. What were your feelings on what was happening?
    As if my mother betrayed everything she taught me not to be or do. Alone- though i'm an adult, for once in my life i had a complete family with my step dad, mother, his kids and myself. It had a good 15 year run though.

    4. Did you ever know about the affair before it was known to your parent who was not cheating? I don't know. My step dad has not returned my call. He probably thinks I was in the know about everything.

    5. Did you forgive your cheating parent or not?
    I love my mother DEARLY!!!! I dont know what I feel except ashamed and grossed out. It does not help that she's lied to me as well. It does not help that my real dad cheated and left us when i was a kid either, or that i may have been cheated on myselft, though i never proved that last one.

    6. Have/would you ever had an affair?
    Absolutely not. I believe that if i don't feel a connection with a person anymore it's better to break their heart by separating, before you decide to ENTERTAIN someone else. I would not want anyone to hang on to my while they are wooing and godknowswhat with someone else. But i guess that's just me.

  3. #43
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    1. Which parent cheated?
    My Mother
    2. What happened to your parents' marriage?
    She carried on using him for several months, encouraging us children to lie to our step father about it. Until I told him one day about what she'd been doing. I was about 12. He carried on paying her to see us, and they got devorsed
    3. What were your feelings on what was happening?
    I hated her. I thought she was dirty for doing something like that. With a guy she met at her own wedding as well...
    4. Did you ever know about the affair before it was known to your parent who was not cheating? What did you do?
    Yes. I lied for her, for several months until I gave up and told my step dad.
    5. Did you forgive your cheating parent or not?
    Nope, I still think shes a user and all those horrible names you call people that cheat.
    6. Have/would you ever had an affair?
    Nope. And Never will. If your unhappy, try to fix it. If it can't be fixed Leave... Why hurt anyone?

  4. #44
    Silver Member MD Geist's Avatar
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    1. Which parent cheated?
    My Father.
    2. What happened to your parents' marriage?
    it ended in a bad divorce shortly after I was born.
    3. What were your feelings on what was happening?
    I honestly wanted to kill him for what he's done and his action putting us through many difficult years of almost losing the house, mom catching cancer and me not having a good qualitly of life and having to "man up on my own" is not exceptable.
    4. Did you ever know about the affair before it was known to your parent who was not cheating? What did you do?
    I wasn't even alive when this began.
    5. Did you forgive your cheating parent or not?
    No and I never will forgive him for what he's done.
    6. Have/would you ever had an affair?
    No. Because I'm not my dad, I'm not his father either. Both of those s where abusive jerks to their wives and I don't plan on fallowing in their footsteps.

  5.  

  6. #45
    Platinum Member yeawutever's Avatar
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    Wow that's some anger you have. But well deserved. I bet he didn't even care about you afterwards nor care about amending what he's done...

  7. #46

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    1. Which parent cheated?

    Da

    2. What happened to your parents' marriage?

    They got divorced

    3. What were your feelings on what was happening?

    Not what were because I was ignorant to the affair. My feelings now are somewhat mixed. I told myself I'd never want to do what my Da did. However I find more of home with him then my lamenting mother who still do this day holds a grudge over him and affects her character, even as much caring as she is. Unfortunately I've swept this under the rug because I can't and do not want to deal with it

    4. Did you ever know about the affair before it was known to your parent who was not cheating? What did you do?

    Never knew. My sisters at a young age understood before I did. Back then I was sort of oblivious to these things and still am

    5. Did you forgive your cheating parent or not?

    Never really talked about it and if I did then I cannot remember

    6. Have/would you ever had an affair?

    No. And never will. Unless maybe it was for revenge against someone else for doing it to me then I'd be ok

  8. #47
    Platinum Member Mauxly's Avatar
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    This is a great thread that I think all folks who are cheating or considering cheating should read.
    If you have kids, and you think for a moment that it is OK to cheat (or cheat with someone who has kids) I'd like you to stop and think about the lifelong damage you are going to do to those innocent people. Is that moment of lust worth it?

  9. #48
    Member mcqueen002's Avatar
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    1. Which parent cheated?
    dad
    2. What happened to your parents' marriage?
    they are still together but the issue seems to find its way into conversations because he didn't admit things until the beginning of this year. & they are constantly arguing. there is rarely a moment of peace between to two.its weird because it goes from playful banter and progresses to a full blown argument.
    3. What were your feelings on what was happening?
    i was disgusted and hurt by what he did. i'm still dealing with it because its in the back of my mind & if i allow my mind to drift i begin to remember everything
    4. Did you ever know about the affair before it was known to your parent who was not cheating? What did you do?
    we confronted him because we saw obvious changes in his behavior. he began doing things like staying out late listening to music he would never listen to. he told us we were working ourselves up over nothing & that he wasn't doing anything wrong.
    5. Did you forgive your cheating parent or not?
    im working on that as well. i ask myself whether or not i have truly forgiven him. i don't want to carry that kind of weight around with me any longer so i try my best to forgive for ME.its hard to forget what hes done because he is so stubborn and not one to apologize. we had to basically tell him to apologize to our mother.he can be so rude alot of the time when addressing my mother.
    6. Have/would you ever had an affair?
    i would hope that i would not be driven to do something like this. i can say that if i had cheated i would want forgiveness. it doesn't make cheating any less wrong but every situation is different. some people can move on after things like this but for others the trust is never there again.in my father's case, if he had simply humbled himself it would have made it easier for us to move on but he refused to do that.

  10. #49
    Platinum Member Mauxly's Avatar
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    1. Which parent cheated?

    My dad

    2. What happened to your parents' marriage?

    They got divorced, the woman he cheated with became my stepmom.

    3. What were your feelings on what was happening?

    I was 5. I just remember my life being completely turned over. Much sadness and confusion. I missed him so much, but he spent more time with his new family. My mom was pretty sick about it and told me that he didn't care about us anymore, which is so very wrong. I felt totally abandoned and unloved by him.

    4. Did you ever know about the affair before it was known to your parent who was not cheating? What did you do?

    I was definitely too young to understand anything about this. I have emotional memories, not intelectual ones.

    5. Did you forgive your cheating parent or not?

    I've forgiven him, and understand why he had to leave my mother. She was pretty unbearable and admits now that ultimately she drove him away. However, I wonder if the split would have been better for us children if he had left before he found another woman. I love my dad dearly and we have a great relationship. However, now new resentments have arisen from this because he taught me at an early age that "Men Leave. No matter what promises they make or what they say, they LEAVE." And this has caused a lot of problems in my adult relationships. I never expect men to stay, so I don't fully give myself to them or trust them. I'm now in thearapy over it.

    6. Have/would you ever had an affair?

    God no! And I can honestly say that I never will. I do not put myself in situations where I'd be tempted.

  11. #50
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    1. Which parent cheated?
    Dad

    2. What happened to your parents' marriage?
    On the verge of divorce...

    3. What were your feelings on what was happening?
    It's in the midst of happenning, but I'm old enough to understand it. I'm neutral about it.

    4. Did you ever know about the affair before it was known to your parent who was not cheating? What did you do?
    Mom and I had hunches so we were on the same page the whole time.

    5. Did you forgive your cheating parent or not?
    This to me is probably the most interesting question. My parents definitely married for the wrong reasons. Lets say my siblings and I are not a product of love. Haha. But the problems in the marriage was not a one day thing. The problems built up over many many years.

    I understand both sides.

    My mom is sad and upset because she thought she would be spending the rest of her life with the man she loved. Now she is alone, and now I must pick up the slack of taking care of her and giving her everything she needs. It's the worst feeling in the world to feel alone. I understand that, and where she is coming from.

    My dad on the other hand. He is selfish, and gets bored very easily. He's always looking for new adventures. Although this is a good trait it is also his fatal flaw (think Shakespeare). Everyone in the world is looking for love, and he is no exception. He married my mom for the wrong reasons and there was nothing there to begin with. But I understand his position. I guess I always saw it coming.

    To know all is to forgive all. My dad is probably more wrong here but my mom is not completely free of fault. Anyways, I guess what I'm trying to say is that everyone is acting on their natural instincts and sometimes it's the nature of human beings to do these things.

    While I still stay true to the fact that cheating is bad. It really makes me question the concept of monogamy and whether it is a natural thing.

    6. Have/would you ever had an affair?
    Probably not.

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