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Thread: How do you get a family member to leave you alone?

  1. #1
    prettydance
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    How do you get a family member to leave you alone?

    I have no contact with the extended family- long story- mean misreable people.

    One cousin who i thought was nice turned out to be like the rest of them. His wife is the worst. She made believe she was my friend and so nice, turns out shes a total backstabber- very jealousof me.

    She only calls around the holiday to find out info and gossip about me and then informs the extended family... In the past I called her several times- never get a call back, never get an email back or a thank you mention for gifts I sent.....birthday/x-mas.

    She waits for the whole year to go by to get me now.... did the same thing last year then you dont hear from her again till the next year. And she sweet talks like, "i love you, im worried, etc"

    She called once last month, i called back to leave message,, didnt hear back from her until 3 weeks last- she left a message. I just didnt call back. Now she just called and left me a message at thanksgiving.

    I do not want to talk to her at all. I feel there is no reason to.. I just want to send a christmas card and be left alone..
    How do i get her to stop calling/bothering me?

  2. #2
    Survictor
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    You could just ask her. You could say that you are are not comfortable with her and would prefer she didn't contact you.

    She could call you all the names under the sun to you to your family, but as she talks about you anyway, then why worry?! At least you will really give them something to talk about. And whether she was affronted or not, everyone will respect you!

  3. #3
    prettydance
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    I would rather not even talk to her, shes a huge liar/manipulator. She turns everything around like im the one in the wrong and she has a huge mouth so its hard to win with her. Maybe I could just pick up the phone and be very quiet and say i have another call and get off.

  4. #4
    southerngirl
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    Just dont return her calls, and if she happens to catch you answering tell her your sorry but your busy or on the other line.

    This way you are not talking to her, and your having no confrontations either.

  5. #5
    Survictor
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    Oh, must go... the soup is boiling over!

  6. #6
    happytown
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    if you've got caller id why dont you just get rid of your answerphone? Then you still get to choose who contacts you.

  7. #7
    Helen67
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    The fact Prettydance that you know she is a liar/manipulator, should give you the upper hand here!

    When she phones personally I would sit on the other end of the line just giving out bland, boring answers to her Q's...."What have you been up to lately?"..."Oh, nothing special, what about you?"

    Turn things around, tell her nothing, and ask her the Q's she's asked you. Be confident, and smile to yourself when she realises she's not getting anything from you...This will so wind her up!

    Yeah she probably will make up stories anyway, but you can at least reassure yourself, that it was nothing you said. The truth will eventually out...as they say!

    Don't worry, work on the sticks and stones theory. I know it's difficult when lies are said about you, or about what you said, but there's not much you can do about that in the short term. Like I said give her nothing, and someday others will realise it's coming from her poisened mouth and not yours!

    Read my signature I have, after years of being worried about ppl gossiping or lying about me....This is the peace of mind I have. Whether ppl are talking badly about me or good about me, the single fact is, because they are, then I exist!

    Also, if you want to send a christmas card, I would send a really ugly, tacky, cheap card, just another way of letting her know that you are on to her, and you don't care. Just a thought. But be strong!
    Last edited by Helen67; 11-26-2006 at 03:43 AM.

  8. #8
    justpaisley
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    I have an aunt just like that. I have her e-mail address and instant messenger screen names blocked because she's quite obnoxious and will turn anything I say, literally, into some sort of attack on her. I could say that I don't like mushrooms, and she'd say "you know I like mushroom pizza, I can't believe you don't want to be around me." It was so petty. Then she, who has been married 3 times, started giving me marriage advice. Yeah, no thanks.

    She's called me once after finding my phone number online and I was horrified. All she wanted to do was gossip about my 80-year-old, infirm grandma, for heaven's sake. I had one terse conversation with her and that was that. We got rid of our land line for cell phones and she can't find my number anymore, thank goodness. Unless one of my family members gives it to her and they know not to do that.

    If I were you, I'd just screen my calls. If you don't have caller ID, get it. Don't answer her calls, and after a while, she'll get the point. If she's sincerely worried about you, she can find out about your well-being from another family member. I honestly wouldn't even send a Christmas card - that's only encouraging her to contact you. Only send Christmas cards to the people with whom you want to maintain contact. Trust me, she'll get the point eventually. You don't have to explain yourself to her at all. Take care of YOU.

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