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Thread: The other woman- but not really.

  1. #1
    Member lovetomuch's Avatar
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    The other woman- but not really.

    Where to start? For starters this is not my first post. Weeks ago I had a break down and wrote my story. I really love to hear strangers tell me their prospective, even though I know at the end of the day itís up to the individual, the creator, the designer, US.

    I found soul who I cannot seem to let go- although I know we will never truly be together- I just canít seem to shake him off!
    I need to communicate with him in some way or another because it just makes my day that much more exciting. I will never truly really be #1 because he is married. He left his wife for me for one week but jumped back to her because she simply wouldnít let him leave, and deep down I know he wants to preserve what he has created for the past 18 years. No kids. I was devastated when it happened but I got over it because I knew that there was something more in life I deserved- maybe not completely over- but over in a different way.
    I know that we were still on a journey in this life and that is not ready to separate us just yet. The feeling is mutual- I broke things off with him again when he tried to come back around but now have opened my mind to considering being the other woman. It seems harmless.
    She knows about me and is willing to share him with me, he loves her but also wants to be part of my life. He wants me to meet her so she can understand and know me. I am very hesitant because I do not understand how this could come to work. I am not the #2 type.

    What helps me is I have a strong love mate who is Brazil and after 3 years of not seeing each other we still yearn to be together. He just wonít move here and I wonít move back but we will see where things go. He is coming to see me this year. Meanwhile, I am not interested in dating other guys because I just donít want to. I am happy with myself and really do not care for dating this year.
    HELP I doing the right thing by meeting the woman and being the other woman? If it is out in the open then is it wrong? I do not want to take him away from her. I just want to enjoy him and wait for my true love to come around.

  2. #2
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    If it's in the open and all three party knows what to expect then no, what you are doing isn't wrong. However this just seems so dysfunctional to me and in my opinion someone will inevitably get hurt. You seem to be a very emotional and romantic person so being number two or having to share the one you love just won't be enough for you. I think you should do a period of NC, 3 months at least to let all of your emotions settle and then decide what it is that you want.

  3. #3
    Member lovetomuch's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BrianH46
    . I think you should do a period of NC, 3 months at least to let all of your emotions settle and then decide what it is that you want.
    Your reply means a lot to me.

    It is very hard to do the NC. I live for the C. It is the smart thing to do afterall.

  4. #4
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    I know what you mean the only reason I'm not contacting my ex right now is because I deleted her number, my FB, all contact with her and even then every fiber of my being wants to hear her voice again.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member mg22's Avatar
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    NOOOOOOO, love yourself, .. do not let your feelings take over.. they have issues not you !! leave this situation do not get involved in there drama, you are being suckered into a bad toxic relationship, do not be a part of it ! LOVE YOURSELF, DONT LOSE YOURSELF TO THIS CRAZY DRAMA !!! you will come out worse ! the outcome spells trouble.........

  7. #6
    Member lovetomuch's Avatar
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    You sound like my mom


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