My husband and I just celebrated our first anniversary, and sadly, I am dreading what the next year will be like. We recently moved 1500 miles away from our friends and families so he could enter his dream PhD program. I work from home, and for financial reasons I will continue to work from home. Because I'm at home all day and my husband's always busy with school, I find myself getting very lonely. I am doing things to get out of the house – taking a cake decorating class, getting the wheels in motion to go back to school part time and pursue a Masters degree. However, I miss my husband. He rarely has any spare time, and what little spare time he has he tends to spend with his peers. I understand that they are his support system during a very stressful time in his life, but I can't help wondering where's my support system.
I love my husband so much, but this marriage has become emotionally draining. When he can't make time for me, I find myself worrying about what's wrong with me. What do his peers have that attracts him to spend time with them that I don't? How could I support and make sacrifices for a person and still not deserve even a little bit of his time?
I understand that he's got enough on his plate. The poor guy stays up all night doing research and writing papers. He's always has so much to do; I'm surprised he manages to get it all done. Knowing how busy he is, I feel guilty asking him to attend to me and to my feelings. At the same time, whenever I hear about other women spending the day with their husband, I want to cry. My husband doesn't even have time to be intimate with me. Maybe he's tired of me but feels bad saying so after I've made so many life changes for him? I don't know. I don't even feel right bringing these feelings up to him when I know he doesn't have the time to discuss them with me.
How do I cope? How am I going to manage dealing with this for the next five years? Any advice anyone can offer will be greatly appreciated. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep alone every night.