"University vs. Family"

Hello everyone.

I'm here, once again, for a bit of advice and I hope that it won't take too much of your time.

Background story:

I moved out of my parents apartment -

I began studying at the local university where I live, it's a bit prestigious (but nothing like Harvard, Yale or such) to become a language teacher. To become a teacher I have to study for 5 years and take courses that, in my own opinion, I don't need since a lot of them concern children in grades 1-3 etc and I will be focusing on high-school/college students. It's a full time schedule which requires you to study every day, all day and end-terms are supposed to be handed in every fourth week.

The issue:

I was really happy to be accepted into the teachers programme and thought it'd be a walk in the park since I've just finished my military duty and thought that nothing could be harder than that. Well.. Things went along famously in the beginning but bit by bit I've crossed some sort of line.

I'm constantly stressed out and even rude to my family. I've begun to ignore studying at home which I shouldn't and I hang out with friends instead (I used to study seven days a week, all day until my homework was done..). My mother and father are sad for me because they've noticed that I'm not myself as well as being rude to them when they're trying to find out what's wrong or trying to help me.

My parents came over earlier today and tried to help me but, of course, I shrugged it off and sent them away. I feel like a total * * * because my father (Captain in the Army for gods sakes!) just called me and cried saying he was sad because I was so happy when I found out I was accepted to the university and worried because I've started acting so strangely. I used to be humble and calm but these past few weeks I've punched the walls in frustration and even thought about how nice it would be to, for once, solve problems with muscle instead of mouth.

My thoughts:

I thought Univ. was going to be a walk in the wark which it wasn't. I'm frustrated over the teachers and core-house's inefficient way of doing their job (Teachers never co-plan their lectures and we often end up having to skip a few books which we suffer for in the end. The core-house takes forever to send you important items such as cards which you need to have to be able to take exams, it took 3 months to get my card). Also, I'm not quite satisfied with having to pay A LOT of money for courses I am required to take but do not need.

The alternative is, of course, to drop out and continue to work as an industrial painter which I have experience with but deeply dislike. This would require me to move away from my apartment as you have to study to keep it, however, my parents have also moved and so they would not have any room for me would I move out. Another downside is that in the winter you cannot work as a painter since it's cold outside and impossible to paint houses..

Question:

What the hell should I do? I've never experienced this feeling of decadence, I've always strived to be responsible but now I'm weighed down by things I've earlier always pushed infront of me. I take it there are a lot of simple answers to this like, "tell your family you love them", "go talk to a pro. shrink" etc.. Please leave this thread if that's what your thinking. I need guidance but my experience with shrinks is that they're useless.

Thanks for reading, thankful for advice.

7 days studying is translated as 'please give me stress', why do you think most students study 5 days, and let themselves go in the weekend? And i suggest you do exactly just that, no you don't have to drown yourself in alcohol, hit the gym, have a hobby. Your not a robot, your a human being, you have needs which have to be forfilled, including letting your frustration out (in a proper way) which is why i suggest the gym.

Next Don't put your life nor future into the hands of someone else. Blaming teachers how they are ruining your life by not fitting in to your needs, yes its more then dislikeable but are you going to be so angry at them that you forget to study? That teachers doesn't care wether you pass or not, he/she just hopes that the day is over so they can go home, notice that the guidance that teachers give you is just a formality and not an honest attempt to forfill your needs, rather take the power of your life back in your own hands. Yes take measures in your own hand, YOU figure out how to get the best grades, with YOUR methods.

Most of what you learn on school is useless, chances are that you probably will NEVER have to use a quadratic mathematical equation into practise during your entire life. BUT THATS NOT THE POINT!!!, wether you are learning useless things is totally not important, what is important is that when you apply for a job that you can show a diploma. That you can show them that piece of paper that says, this allows me to ear a heapload of money. KEEP focusing on what you are doing it for, the money a better job a better life, school is merely a nuisiance and tool to achieve your life goals.

Next is this, school is treaturous , you know as you said it starts out all nice and easy, and suddenly you find yourself eating more trouble then you can chew. You see school is like a viper under the grass, everything 'seems' safe, but it can bite you in the leg , before you expect it. Its time that you take it serious and think 'i might fail this if i don't do my best', you see school isn't about one good grade and thinking your safe. Its basically a test to see your long term commitment to society. Meaning that every study day you work away a certain load of work, and that you show effort on a long term base.

As said take the stress away by going to the gym in the weekend (or any hobby of your liking) , and then if the stress goes down you'll be able to face your parents, crying about your son because you are worried isn't a discrace, rather shows that your dad loves you, to which you should be proud off. You are like a steam kettle to much pressure on it, makes you explode, too little makes nothing happen, so make sure your in the middle so that you get things done, but don't become overly frustrated.

Stay in Uni, and take off the pressure. Its a long term thing, not just feeling consolident for one day. But a PLAN and METHOD to overcome this.

Dear, robowarrior.

Thank you for your reply I much appreciate it.

However, I feel I must say that what most students do is of the essense since I have to study and read novels as much as I described earlier.

I've been boxing for about 4 years now and I've got a gym card as well but lately I have not found the time to go there.

And I'm not really blaming the teachers, they go after a set programme and all I really wish for is for them to co-plan their lectures. School is important and I disagree with you when you say that teachers do not care. Granted I've met a few who never did but that is also why I am striving to become a teacher, to help young adults as well as give myself an oportunity to further expand my own knowledge in literature.

I'm sad to hear that you've had such bad experiences with your teachers..

It's not so much that I dislike my programme because it's "poisonous" to me; having too high goals for myself as well as unrealistic hopes for myself is closer to the truth. Also, I'd love to stay in the university but I'm hardly able to even carry my own weight. If I could remove some of the pressure, believe me, I would, but it's not that easy. Demands on teachers-to-be are waaay up there and it's no lie when people compare the teacher's-programme to that which doctors have to go through in terms of years, dedication and whatnot.

All I really want is a new outlook on things and I'm afraid I'm nearing my wits end.