Okay. I'm gay and in a long-term relationship (well, nearly 1.5 years) with the love of my life, a guy (we're both 21). That's all fine!
Problem is... for the past half a year I've gradually become more and more attracted to my coworker who is only 17, in his final year of high school. For the past couple of months, we've gotten to know each other better and he's actually been fairly keen to come over a few times and go bowling, play monopoly, the three of us had a drinking binge one night and he got pretty loose.
I need to know whether he's gay asap before I go insane. If he isn't, then I can forget about him and move on with my current relationship. If he is gay (and possibly attracted to me) I will need to make a decision.
Here are the signs that he's not gay:
1) he likes cars (and planes and wants to be a pilot, and he's just a smart sciencey guy in general)!
2) he doesn't have a particularly gay speech or walk or anything, although kind of has a deep bass 'sensitive' voice (kind of like mine).
Here are the signs that he IS gay:
1) he told me he hasn't been attracted to girls in the past year (since he got sick), eg. "i've had several offers from them but i just wasn't interested"
2) he goes to an all-boys school
3) he always refers to his future partner as "someone" or "they" -- he never says "i want to date a GIRL who..." etc. Also, whenever he refers to a mate's "girlfriend", he is quick to say "(not mine)" in parentheses.
4) he has a pretty good fashion sense
5) he brought up a book involving bisexuality, but when my bf furthered the conversation (online), he said "i'm not getting into this"
6) he hugged my bf three times when we went for a drunken walk and said "i love you" all three times. I questioned that but he said, drunkedly, "well you wouldn't want to say "i hate you" to someone who was hugging you and thus could strangle you!
7) he came over on saturday and my housemates said he was "all over" me.
i'm a composer and he keeps stating how much he likes one of my pieces and he went around playing it to his friends at school on his ipod.
plenty more subtle things and stares and stuff. he has SMS'd me several times spontaneously which is not usual for a straight guy, friend or not.
I could go on... but to me the fact that he genuinely seems to like cars just throws my gaydar off. Any thoughts?