Things have been pretty decent with my girl lately. I've written a few other posts about her recently and in the past.
I thought things were getting better between us but something happened today that let me know they probably aren't. - I call her about an hour ago to see how she's doing. I wake her so at first she doesn't have much to say because she's just waking up, still a bit disoriented.
But we're not on the phone for 5 minutes and she's telling me she has a bad feeling about a certain webpage that I have. Now, everyone and their mama has a MySpace account. I've had mine for over a year, whatever, that's not important.
She starts telling me that she wants us to delete our accounts because it's causing too many problems in our relationship. Says she's having all these bad feelings and she doesn't believe anything I tell her when it comes to what I do on the website.
Now, I don't want you thinking this is me fighting with her simply to keep my Myspace account, because I could care less about the account. She loves saying that I don't want to delete it because it's more important to me than our relationship (is that something that all women say when they're not getting their way??) just a question.
I'm a pretty attractive guy so naturally there are ladies hitting me up all the time on the site. the send notes and comments and whatever; those of you who have a myspace know the routine. - Now I have pictures of the two of us, of our son, along with my family and friends on my page. It clearly states that I'm in a relationship and from the looks of the pictures you can easily see that I'm in a relationship.
For some reason she's having these 'bad feelings' about me having a page, saying that I let ladies 'disrespect our relationship'. Saying I let ladies disrespect her. Saying I let ladies 'cross the line', and saying I flirt right back when they do. - - She even told me today, "the girls probably tell you, 'oh you're so fine. I wanna **** you!' and you don't say anything! you just let them say it!!" - -
In all honesty women have spoken to me like that IN PERSON and it's a turn off. Why would it 'magically' turn me on 'cause they say the same things on the internet? - She has done nothing but ASSUME I let ladies disrespect her and the relationship. She ASSUMES I play along when they cross line.
The thing about this has been an issue before. She asked, "When you talk to these girls online do you keep it strictly 'online'?" I told her my answer and she immediately didn't believe me. In the past (when we weren't together) I met 3 girls and we've stayed pretty good friends since; nothing ever happened between us because I didn't want it to. They may have wanted to, but I didn't. But since she and I got back together a couple of months ago I haven't done anything like that. I've NEVER let anyone disrespect her our relationship. - As a matter of fact, the ladies that contact me always make comments like, "congrats on your beautiful son. you have a beautiful family" "Your girlfriend is beautiful!" - Whether they mean it or not I don't know, but no one as EVER disrespected our relationship.
I tell her these things and it doesn't matter. She doesn't believe me; she says "I don't believe you're being totally honest with me." ?!!! - I don't know what else to tell her; this is extremely frustrating. - - Then she'll say, if you won't delete the page I want your password. SIKE!!! - I don't invade her personal space so I'm not letting her invide mine just because she has a 'bad feeling'.
It's all a matter of TRUST to me. If she can't take my word for it then she just doesn't trust me, plane and simple. I haven't done ANYTHING wrong for her to 'THINK' anything is going on so why should I suffer because she's a little uneasy? - I feel when she asked me the first time...and i gave her my answer....that should've been the END of that issue. But she brought it up again once I got out here (I'm deployed) about 4 weeks ago. I tell her the same answer and she give me the same treatment she gave me today. - THEN she asks me again today out of nowhere!!
I feel if she couldn't take my FIRST answer from the get go that's showing me she has no TRUST in what I say. - - - She says she does. I tell her she can say she trusts me 'till she's blue in the face, but she doesn't, because if she DID then this myspace thing wouldn't be an issue. Am I right? Yes? No? let me know... - - -
I tell her she can't say anything to me when it comes to trust because there was a point when she was staying with some guy she worked with 'cause she her mom kicked her out of the house. She was staying with him and his cousin (a female). Now,....sure I'm crazy for letting that happen,...(even tho we weren't together at the time) but I trusted her. I mean WHO KNOWS what happened when I left his house, 'cause she was staying there. Only she, her friend, and GOD know. I TRUST her. I never even question it. He did her a favor, who knows how she paid him in return. - - You know what, I'll NEVER know if anything happened between the two of them. Like I said, i'm probably crazy for letting that happen. I mean, my son was there too. - I didn't stress about it. IF they were doing anything Karma is a real WITCH and they'll get theirs in due time. BUT I trusted her BLINDLY. Never questioned it. I 'knew' nothing was going on. - WHY can't she trust me when it comes to something so simple as a website?! -
I recently posted a topic in 'Relationship Commitment'. For those of you who read that......THIS is why I feel SHE'S not ready for marriage. This is why I'm NOT even thinking of the idea of marriage when it comes to her. SHE DOESN'T TRUST ME!!!
AGAIN, this isn't about keeping a website, this is about her not having any trust in what I say to her.