Help! Gay crush on my personal trainer...

Hi guys, the title tells pretty much what's going on with me. Okay, long story short, I hired this trainer in one of the biggest gyms in here 2 months ago, who I did not find attractive at first. All I wanted from him was his advice on working out.

But then, after a few weeks, I started to have feelings for him, partly because of his physical attributes and his adorable personality. I tried my best to keep my feeling inside me and not to show anything in front of him, because I want to keep our relationship professional.

However, he did sent me some signals at times, like, he would help me stretch or lift weight in a way that involve body touch (i.e. putting his legs on my lap or sticking his chests on my back), at one time, we had eye contact for a few seconds, although he turned around embarrassedly.

He always look at me with a caring smile on his face and put his hand on my shoulder (in a friendly way) etc.... Maybe I misinterpret things (yes, I saw him checked out other girls), or maybe somehow he know that I am gay, so he used my vulnerability to keep me as his client...

All I know is, I have this huge crush on him and couldn't get him out of my head. Should I just let him know and get this over with or should I keep hiding it from him? Please help!!

I know how you feel! I think everyone falls for their personal trainer at some point or another...They are so hot. They have the perfect physique and they bend over backwards attending to your needs....

However, you have to remember...You are paying him to do that. Of course he is going to be nice and maybe flirt a little bit...That is what he's getting a paycheck for.

Lots of gay men go into the gym so a personal trainer knows that he has it made if someone is infatuated with him...

I say just let it go and know that you just have a crush and keep it at that...

Of course if he actually does want to date you outside of the health club I say go for it.

Good luck.

Gym's are a very sensitive area. Simply becasue you will at one time or another be in the change rooms with other men. If word gets out that you are gay you may have a hard time trying to do your normal routine at the gym.

It may be hard but try to not bring it up. remember as a gay person in a society that thinks we can't function normally like every other gay male we have to prove this theory incorrect. lets face it. do straight guys tell every straight girl they think they are hot not in the office in most cases.

Keep it under wraps go about your training in a professional matter.

I have to agree with the other responses on this one. This situation is probably one of the most common gay fantasies and it certainly would be great if it proved to be meaningful... Maybe we are all too cynical, but experience does teach us something. Straight men are generally the bane of all gay guys. Especially if they are attractive and charismatic. They can either consciously or subconsciously, manipulate, tease and generally walk all over an infatuated gay man if you let them.

Frankly, this effect happens to both sexes, regardless of sexual orientation. A strong, confident person, when in a position such as mentor or trainer, has a natural tendency to evoke admiration or even attraction from their "students". Throw in some sexual preference and close contact and you have the formula for some sleepless nights.

The ultimate question is whether a person intentionally uses their position for their own adantage. That depends on the person and the situation.

Tread carefully. Don't make any moves that could cross the line of what is appropriate in a professional setting. If he is interested he will make it clear when he is ready. If, after some time, you become too frustrated with unresolved romantic tension, then perhaps it is time to find a new trainer or gym. The truth sometimes hurts, but I've learned that obsessing over bi-curious-in-denial and straight guys only leads to absolute misery.

-tober

Hello Tobermoon - I hope is not to late contact you... you wrote your comments back on nov 2004 - today is oct 2009 - 5 yrs later... contact me: email removed

thanks. JG

I know this is an old Thread, but I am in the exact same situation! I just hired a trainer and I have a huge crush on him. I am not sure how to deal with this? I know he has a girlfriend, and I am in a long term relationship myself, but my feelings towards him are so strong. Realistically I don't think anything wiill eve come out of this, but I need help! I like him and want to continue to work out with him, but how do I keep my emotions in tack?

I know this is an old Thread, but I am in the exact same situation! I just hired a trainer and I have a huge crush on him. I am not sure how to deal with this? I know he has a girlfriend, and I am in a long term relationship myself, but my feelings towards him are so strong. Realistically I don't think anything wiill eve come out of this, but I need help! I like him and want to continue to work out with him, but how do I keep my emotions in tack?

It would be best to start your own thread rather than dig up one that's 14 years old. That way people can respond to your specific question.

Just register, but don't know who to do that? Sorry.

Just register, but don't know who to do that? Sorry.

Go to forum home page, select the sub forum for your question's category, then post advice request button at top left.

Sorta in the same boat, but things went out of control when covid happened. I fell in love with my vocal coach and he left the country to Israel - capital of gays in the world. But, he knows he's good looking and keeps his options open but comes back to me, leaves, does it again. He told me he didn't want to fall for me because that causes him anxiety because he is emotionally unavailable and fills the void of loneliness with options. People are very quick to judge the situation, but i've done everything possible healthy to stop the feeling like therapy, working out, eating even healthier, positive affirmations, getting off social media, throwing away all his gifts, etc. He's not even good enough for me...but I can't shake it - even after 1 year of not seeing each other. He gets into these crash course relationships knowing they can't hurt him because he knows he's "better" than them - but when it comes to me, he gets all worked up in anxiety, makes up all sorts of excuses and even gets possessive when I talk about other guys I am working with. He knows he doesn't measure up to me in terms of success, but it feels like he wants to exhaust all the lesser options and then try to come back to me. He's used to being chased, but I don't do that at all and it frustrates him that I don't do that and he can't figure me out or put me neatly into a box. Even not talking to him, taking off the rose colored glasses...one moment i hate him and feel good good about myself, another moment I get insecure that some Israeli hoe is with him.