had to put my dog to sleep, anyone dealt with this?

hello everyone,

dont know what im asking for, maybe similar experience.

i had to put my dog to sleep a month ago, he was old (but i heard the same breed could live for arond 3 more years, it was max for them) even though everyone told me he already was old. he got sick too fast, it all happened over summer and then in a few days it got worse. tests results said it was leukimia. i asked opinions of 3 vets that had the same opinion that he was suffering and i should put him to sleep. (dont know how good vets are here)

i had no support, i live alone, only support from my family that lived in different city. one person would say i should try everything to cure him and wouldnt be strong - my mum. and another person would say i shouldnt be selfish and just let him live and suffer to make myself better. so i had to take this desicion on my own and it happened so fast. i left that place for a holiday and now i have to go back and im scared, cause its happened there and there are all the memories.

first i suffer wether it was the right desicion or not, since i hear different stories, how vets werent right and how you can take care of dogs and cure them.

second i suffer wondering if i gave my dog a good life, he spent with me 10 years, and that was through my teenage years, growing up, sometimes i was difficult, and i realise that only now im starting to understand life. and its harder with dogs since they cant talk like people.

third i suffer cause im just afraid to go back there cause i know how crazy i felt the night before i left.

and i terribly miss him and always have dreams about him and its just hard to handle, i cry every time i think of him.

thanks for listning and any replies.

Putting your dog to sleep is a very tough decision. In May 2005 I had to make that decision and it was horrible. My dog always had stomach problems and when he was 8 years old he had a bad bout and I was told that he had a mass in his abdomen. I decided that I didn't want him to go through surgery because I didn't want to put him through the trauma. He lived until he was 11 years old. I always knew his lifespan would be shorter than many dogs but for me, his quality of life was most important. Aside for periodic bouts of vomitting and diarrhea, he had a good and pain free life. During the last few months, his vomitting or diarrhea became more frequent (his diarrhea problems were being controlled by pills, but I had to start giving him the pills every day). One Sunday he just stopped eating. It was really hard to get him to eat but he ate a bit when I coaxed him. Monday he seemed better but Tuesday he didn't eat much and was looking listless and down. It was then that I realized his time was up and that he himself wanted to go. I booked the appointment for the Saturday. From Tuesday to Saturday I cried a lot and wondered if I was doing the right thing. Deep down I knew it was because my dog was looking very unhappy. I am not sorry I put him to sleep because the longer I let him go on, the more he would suffer. I spent a very lonely few months from May to September 2005. It was so hard not having him around. I created a corner of my room dedicated to his memory and placed a box with his toys, leash, collar etc. in that corner. In September 2005 I knew it was time to get a new dog. I still have a corner in my room with pictures of my other dog. I also still have his toys and leash etc in the box in my closet. I have never forgotten him, he is in my heart always. My new dog is wonderful and we have really bonded over the last year.

Many people put their dogs through expensive procedures and it really doesn't prolong their life...in fact, it often causes suffering. Quality of life is more important than prolonging life. You did the right thing and the humane thing. It will be tough for a while, but over time the pain will get less and maybe at some point you will be ready for another dog. Please don't feel bad about what you did as a teenager. It is as we get older we understand our actions. I am sure you and your dog had a special bond.

crazyaboutdogs, thank you for your reaply, again i have tears, thats why i try not to think about him or look at his pictures, its way too hard, but i still of course think about him every day.

i just wonder if he got sick cause maybe of bad food or anything like that. like maybe if i tried better it would made his life longer. its ironic, before all the time up till last summer he was so healthy and alive, people couldnt believe he was 10 years old and i believed he would live longer and maybe make a record or something, cause he seemed so healthy and never had medical problems. thats why i wonder maybe it was a temporary thing and vets were wrong. it started too fast. (he would make noises while going to toilet (2) and then he wouldnt be able to do number 1 himself, and he became very slow). Last few weeks i had to give him injections, he got very skinny, and i made that desicion basically in 1 day cause i was called selfish for keeping him around just for his sakes and cause the vet told me he has a couple of months and told me the ways he can die and they all sounded horrible and painful.

I really do want another dog, but i cant really have it now, right now my life is uncertain and i live in a rental place, so having my old dog was hard enough since i couldnt choose where to live and couldnt find a decent job cause it meant leaving him alone and he already was difficult cause he would pee and do stuff while im away, i dont know why, it was him.

Honestly i cant wait till i can have another dog, but i dont know when its gonna happen, maybe in a few years.

I just hope he knew how much i love him

I went through this, this year, and the day we had to put our dog down, I had to go to a martial arts grading...It sucked, I was so depressed...and..when I say the day we had to put the dog down, was the same day I had to help with the grading...well, we put the dog down and went straight to the grading, right after...so that sucked..

We had to do it though, she was in so much pain and suffering...and before we took her to the vet, it was almost like she was pretending to be fine so she didn't have to get put down...it was almost like she knew what was going on.

And it made things so much harder when we saw her run out of the backyard to the car the way she did...but yeah...she only had tiny bursts of energy, after it, she was stuffed

It was the best thing for her, and I stayed with her the whole time, looking into her eyes, making her have some good last memories.

The worst part about putting her down, was looking in her eyes as she died...

I can still picture it, her eyes, staring into mine, almost as if to say "thankyou" then boom...her eyes widened, and...she was gone...just like that....

That image stayed with me for weeks after that...

And yeah...it's such a horrible feeling, but there is a reason you put your dog down, and that is because it's quality of life had just drained, It couldnt go on suffering any longer.

You did the best thing you could for your dog, and I think that it was a very brave and kind decision aswell.

As for crying, I suggest you do let it out, crying is healthy, let it out, let yourself grieve.

You dog loved you very much, and it knew that you loved it very much aswell. I wouldnt suggest getting another dog right away either, but it's up to you.

In time, you will be fine, you will remember the good times with your dog, you may cry still, but that's ok, that's what love does

I think you are a very nice and kind person for choosing to not let your dog suffer a horrible painful death, and I'm sure your dog was very happy that you made the decision.

I hope you start feeling better about it soon...grieving the loss of your dog is like grieving the loss of a brother or a good friend...the dog is not just an animal, it's your friend, it's your family, and it takes time.

If three different vets tell you the same thing then you did all you could to make the right decision.

When we first get a pet the fun and excitement is great and as they grow older they become part of the family. But in all that joy is the realisation that they don't really live that long and the chances are that we are going to lose them after a comparatively short time. It's part of the deal.

As compassionate and caring people we have to think about what is best for the pet when they get sick - especially with a terminal illness, remembering that they are not humans. They don't reason like us. All they know is that they are in pain and suffering. It is our job to help them out of that pain and if experts tell us it will get worse then we have a moral obligation to relieve them of it - even if it hurts us.

Simply put - it is the final act of love and compassion that we can do for our pets. And that is what you did.

thank you everyone for your replys, it does help me feel better and see things clearly.

its hard cause i dont talk about this in my family cause only mum cares and loved him and i cant handle talking to her cause in this situation she would be the one that needs help and me to be strong, and its something that i need myself so i just keep quiet telling her its not easy to talk about. and she hasnt seen my dog for a few years so he was all mine.

The only person i could talk to about it "live" was my partner, but again, he is away so we talk on phone for now only, and unfortunately he couldnt be there with me when it happened or right now due to some problems which of course isnt making it easier. But he was the person that would support me and tell me same kind of things you guys tell me, the person i could cry talking to, and he said he was happy that he got to visit me and my dog just before it happened.

Shadow25, i didnt leave him till the last minute either, even though the vet suggested to go away, i was kinda holding him from behind so wasnt really looking into the eyes, it was so hard and fast i kept going through that in my mind and it just drives me insane so i would prefer not to think about it. Its also why its so hard cause i actually saw him dead and put into a black bag.. its just horrible. i know some people just leave them to vets saying they dont want to remember the worst.

DN yes i did get opinions of 3 vets. but it wasnt that they all tested him. one vet was the one that saw him and took tests and sent me with those test to one person for results so then i just called her with the results. another vet was just someone i called to, to another city, the capital here to ask there opinion just describing the whole thing. and another vet was one i went to before when he wasnt that bad, he was bad already but she couldnt say why since she didnt take the right tests, so when i called her and let her know she agreed with the others and thanked me for calling and letting her know what was wrong (guess maybe that would help her with other similar dogs so she would know what to look at).

I suffer thinking if i did things right up to the last minute, suffer about every little things (even about vet putting him on his side and it was painful for him so i turned him on the stomach and blaming myself for forgetting that side is painful for him and that i made last mins even more painful)

Its horrible..

I know how sad it is to lose a pet. The inability to feel like you can do anything. The love you feel with for a pet and companion is at odds with having to put them to sleep, regardless how appropriate the decision is.

The one thing that helped me was tring to focus on the good life you were able to provide your companion. It helps me to let go knowing that, among all the animals out there, many mistreated, that I provided mine with a life of happiness, security and love. What more could anyone do for another?

You made a positive difference in your pets life. You did the right thing in life and, when necessary, you made a very difficult and painful decision for you, but you did it with love for him in mind. Doing the right thing for love and not selfishness... I think that's the best thing anyone can hope to do in any situation and, I am confident that your pet appreciated it to the end.

just wanted to add.. what made me sad and think about my dog again today in this horrible way.. is that i read one post where a person was telling about their sick old dog and that they have to give her injections everyday, and that its suffering but they dont put her to sleep cause they said you never know what pain is worse since none of us here experienced death. so they said they are not going to put her to sleep cause its killing and maybe she wants to live so they are going to take care of her until she dies herself.

I like to remind myself that people always try to do the right thing with the information they have at at the time... sometimes, people's information differs. You did the right thing given what you knew when you did it... and your pet knows that whatever you did, you did from a good place.

i had a cat for eighteen years, through my late teens until my early 30's-he was the only real relationship that hung in there thru 2 divorces, several interstate moves, and many jobs. when i had to put him to sleep after graduating nursing school, it was almost as if he was saying, its okay, you can do it alone now. it was like he saw me thru the toughest times. since then life has been settling, and i'll never forget him. please dont feel guilty, grieving is a process and dont judge yourself too harshly

I had to put one of my kittens to sleep a few months ago was so eatin up with worms that she was too weak to live.We were goin to take her to the doctor and get her shots and everything,but the day before we were goin to take her,was the day she died.It was sad,but my mom was more upset then me idk why though I liked that cat more than her.But atleast she is in a better place now,along with ur dog.

One thing that may help is to make a memorial for your dog. A place to sit and remember all the good time the two of you shared. I had my special friend cremated, we spent 17 years together and I found myself missing her like I would my own child. I have her remains and a few poems and pictures in a place where I can go to when I need a 'dose' of her.

I'm so sorry for your pain, here is a poem that I printed for my dog when she died.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

thank you. cant read anything without tears. im afraid to make any memorial since its hard to handle, the whole place we lived in together is like a memorial and im even afraid to go back there cause i know ill feel bad.

You must allow yourself to grieve but you can not allow the grief to rule your life. As hard as it is to face, you have to go back. You can not move forward with your own life unless you allow yourself to grieve. Part of the grieving process includes facing those memories and the pain that comes with them. I'm not claiming it will be easy and I can not predict how long it be before your life will seem anywhere close to normal. I'm very sorry for your loss but know in your heart that you did what needed to be done in order to save your dog from a prolonged and painful death. Pets give unconditional love and I'm sure that your dog knew he was loved. Try to let go of your guilt - pets sometimes just get sick, the same way people do, regardless of their age. Take each day, one at a time. It may not seem so now but eventually your memories will be a comfort to you. The tears you cry are not weakness, they are cleansing and allow you to begin to work your way through this process of grieving and the next step - healing.

lindasgirl, thank you very much for your support, i really appreciate it

xx

I lost my best friend when he was 16. He was a mean cat that didn't like anyone but me. I got him when I was in college when he was half-grown, and he and I were totally sympatico. He could absolutely understand everything I was saying, and sometimes thinking. We just went. I loved him more than I thought I could love anything or anyone. He was simply a part of me. In a way, he taught me how to love, to REALLY love. I consider myself a very emotionally stable and strong person, but I cried for four straight months when he died. It's been 4 years and I still cry sometimes. I imagine that would be something like losing a child. The bond was just that strong. I have since lost both of my parents, and while that was hard, it was very different. The pain of losing my boy was at least as bad. I think our relationship with animals can be especially close because they are pure and uncomplicated.

I wish they lived as long as we did so we wouldn't have to say goodbye to them, but that's just not the way nature intended it. I choose to think that's because we can spend our lives with more than one or two of those lovely souls. We can learn to love many.

I totally understand.

I felt awful when we had to put my cat to sleep. I was sixteen and we had had him since I was six. He was really sick and had stopped eating, so we ended up having him put down. It was terrible. I cried all day in school the next day. He was a part of the family.

I had to put my dog, Mindy, to sleep last year[september 3rd, 2005]. She was 17 when we put her down.

Mindy was the cutest little dog, a dachshund/chihuahua mix. Big brown eyes, long little body, short legs, and a tail that wagged all day. She was my best friend growing up. I told her all my secrets, and i knew she wouldn't [and couldn't] tell anyone. I cried many tears into her soft brown fur. She was always there to hold when i was upset. When i was sick, she'd lay by me on my couch or bed, and somehow make my sickness disappear. Every winter I stayed warm in bed, because her little body would be curled into a ball next to mine.

We were literally inseperable.

She slowly started to get in real bad shape. She couldn't control her bladder, and ruined our basement by going to the bathroom down there all the time. She developed seperation anxiety and would tear up our basement door, ripped up the linolium at the top of our basement stairs, and even distroyed the rubber lining on our garage door. Many of her teeth fell out, she couldn't eat good, and became rather skinny. Neither her sight, or hearing worked well. We'd often find her just standing in the same spot for hours because she didn't know what to do or where to go. I think she may had had arthritis too, because she rarely ever layed down or even sat down. My parents thought it'd be better to save her from this, and put her out of her misery.

I was completely mortified at this. I couldn't lose my best friend. She meant the whole world to me. But I knew how much pain she was in.

The day came all too quickly. We drove to the vet's office and I held her in my lap during the car ride there. When I walked into the office I didn't think I was going to be able to handle it. I prayed that it wouldn't hurt her, but when the vet put the needle in her vein, she cried out in pain. Somehow I stuck through it though, and watched as my best friend left me. It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my short experience of life. I've learned to let go, but that doesn't mean I don't cry at night still. I miss seeing her curled in a ball on the carpet in a ray of sun. But what i miss most is her sleeping next to me every night, or her bouncing around, absolutely estatic that we've returned home from a trip somewhere.

It's still hard, and I think about her a lot, but I just know she's in a better place and is experiencing no pain.

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved pet. Whenever I think about the pets that I have lost, the Rainbow Bridge poem really comforts me:

link removed

You will be reunited with your friend one day, I am sure of it.

BellaDonna

I do understand how you feel well ill start by telling you my story I had a chipoo (chichuachua/poodle) she was only about 5/6 pounds. We got her a week before mothers day at that time she was about 2 months. I have two kids and not only was she great with them but she felt when i was down and would sit right next to me or when I would lie down she would lay right on my chest and lay her head on my neck. Well on Thursday Feb 06,2008 around 5:30pm she was being bad she liked to chew on used toilet paper so i yelled at her so i picked her up and took her to the bathroom to say "Bad girl NO" well on the way i dont know how i slipped she flew out of my arms and landed on her head. She cried out and walked for about two/three steps and collapsed. I ran to her picked her up put she was not moving, i freaked out so i started crying, trying to make her stand nothing worked she was limp. So i gave her CPR which brought her back. I got a ride from my mother in-law to a emergency vet I was already upset since i could not understand what just happened. It took us about 45 min to get there which made it even worst because she stopped breathing twice more in the car so again I had to do mouth to mounth and brought her back both times. When i finally got to the Vets they did take her right away but when they came to give me an update on her stats they had the nerve to ask "well its $500.00 to stablelize her what do you want to do? of course I said I want to save her, reason not only was i at fault for dropping her I yelled at her for a stupid reason. When she was left at the hospital she was fine her vitals were good they ieven said she had a chance. I received a call about 2:00am the DR. said my baby stopped breathing and the best thing to do was to let her go. I informed her i wanted her to keep trying so soon enough my dog started breathing on her own. The next day my husband and I got up early to see her, the doctor then told use she had a 10% chance of living and only talked about the financial cost of everything and the best would be to let her go, It only made it worst by the Dr. saying how high the cost would be and the best would be to let her go. She lasted until about 9:35am the next day. The Dr. said if she survived she would never walk again and our bill, 2500.00 for an MRI which she would probably die on the way too, and i had to drive her( I knew if she died on the way i would not be able to deal with it alone. Now I not only feel guilty for her death but I now think "Well what If i would of done this/ or what if that" my son even asked well mommy if you would not have yelled at leala and you would of watched where you were walking she would not be dead right. I had to say Yes which now i dont know how to handle my husband wants a new dog Im not ready for one yet. Well the reason im telling you this is to make you feel maybe just alittle better. I had to put my dogto sleep because my husband did not want to make the choice and i still dont know if it was the right one.

hi everyone i have had my dog over 10 years in my life about 3 months ago i went away to get married and my father looked after my pets and kids.. i was away for about 3 months my dog started not to eat as much my dad put it down to missing me... then she started to have a werid colour liquid comeing away from her private part so my dad took her to a vet but because she wasnt registered they couldnt do anything. she started to eat more my dad said he thought she was doing ok which made me happy . when i return she was very skinny and didnt look right but she was eating and drinking when i started to see that liquid comeing away from her i check on the pc for information and i found out it could be a serious infection to take her to a vet so i did on 1st oct 08 i took my dog to the vet to found out yes she did have the infection but also a lump on her liver it was cancers i broke down in tears as she seemed ok she had started to eat more and was happy to see me. the vet said it would be best for her to be put a sleep so she dont suffer. i felt like someone had riped my heart out as i said bye to my dog i hated life the way its so cruel... i cant stop crying i thought i was going to get my dog treated and bring her home not be put a sleep its so hard i miss her so much. clair jones

Yeah it sucks. I work at an animal hospital. i had to help in alot of the putting the animals to sleep. Its Sad. Couple times I would have to leave the room when people were crying because it would make me start to cry and I dont cry over anything. Its very hard for me to cry. But a few years back, I had to put my dog to sleep. I remember bringing him in and talking to the dr. that i worked with and she said that he had cancer and because of where the tumor was, she was unable to do the surgery on him. I remember just startting to cry which made everyone else that i worked with start to cry. all the drs. and vet techs. But i did not want my dog to suffer.

I have a new dog now and I dont know what I would do if anything happened to him. I dont even live at home anymore and I stop by my parents house in the morning after work to make sure he has food..water and just to keep him company for a few hours before i go to my house. he is about 3 and full of energy.

I'm so sorry! A pet is a beloved family member and so hard to say goodbye. But remember that you did what was best for your friend, who had a nice long life. 10 is an old dog in dog years.

It is very hard for you now, but I know there is a lovely pet just waiting to be loved by you when you are ready to open your heart to another pet. I have loved and lost several pets and each was special, but you will love another pet just as much one day once your grief has passed. You will one day be able to think of your friend with happy memories and not so much pain, so let time pass and you will remember her with fondess.

thanks its nice to talk to peolpe thats ben through the same you dont feel alone... i know my dog isnt going to suffer now and is at peace.. i just miss her loads it hurts. clair jones

it's really amazing how as dogs get older they change their behavior. it's almost like you can see them age before your eyes. my dog used to love to run around and play, go upstairs and even hop up on furniture. she'd always give you a warm greeting when you came home too. then as time went on she started to pull her back out sometimes and stopped trying to do strenuous activities. she no longer climbed stairs or jumped on anything and kept the running to a minimum. eventually, her leg started to hurt and she had trouble standing up after laying down for awhile. but even after that she was still very alert. she still loved food and people and life in general.

but when dogs are beginning to suffer you can just tell. when my dog REALLY had a hard time moving around, was having accidents almost daily, and even less enthusiastic about food, we knew it was almost time. one day we came home and she just layed there without even lifting her head because she felt too sick to even look at us. she even refused food so we knew we couldn't wait another day.

i'm convinced we did the right thing by putting her to sleep. if anything we waited too long. my dog was 13 and in my opinion ready for death. she began behaving somewhat strangely which told me she was preparing to leave us. she was never very outdoorsy but towards the end she would sometimes lay down alone in our garden for a long time and just soak in the world. we almost couldnt find her because she never did things like that and usually tried to get inside as soon as possible. it was almost like she was meditating and trying to become one with nature.

that last day was one of the hardest things i ever had to do but it was also very relieving. the bond you form with your pet is strong and you just know when it's time for something like that. death is an incredible concept that really puts things in perspective.